An incident at the Mall

Chapter 1
The warrior

Chapter Description: A nameless warrior goes to the Mall...

 (Author’s note: Here's to that “person” that I encountered at the Mall today. Cheers!)

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The empowered warrior tapped away on her cell phone oblivious to the world around her. She typed message after message about vacuous subjects with her friends on the return tweets agreeing with her. None would object to her self-empowerment as they were all on the same page and were wary of posting one wrong word or syllable that would bring catastrophe on their social, and possibly, fiscal living.

These affirmations were part and parcel of what the new religion of self-love demanded upon its altar. Strong sycophants would garner greater rewards while lukewarm adherents while tolerated would be eventually eschewed. Such was the culture of cancellation. Those in the know figured that an entire generation would die out early due to stress and heart failure eventually and let them go, watching from the sidelines, neither cheering nor booing as the gladiators fought it out in the electronic ring.

Accidentally bumping into a choice target of opportunity, she sent out a quick “stand by” to her online friends and turned on her camera just in case the upcoming provocation would yield some golden “likes” and possibly virility, raising her social status by a peg or two.

“Hey!” she said to her victim, “You’ve interrupted my vital conversation with my friends! Aren’t you going to apologize?”

The victim, an older man, noted that he was standing still while waiting for the bus and that her distracted navigation was the cause for bumping into him.

With that, her inner sadist rubbed its hands gleefully and she launched into a stream of invective calling her target patriarchal just as a warm-up. Her target began to chant under his breath.

Clap along if you like to push lies devoid of proof

(Because I'm triggered)

It was based upon a former popular singer’s song about happiness from a time of lesser tensions.

The young lady who identified as a penguin with the personal pronouns of “pshe/pher” continued her tirade ignoring all inputs from her target. Her inner sadist danced with glee at being fed such a rich, full meal course of vitriol.

The target, knowing that he was being talked to and not in any way participating in a conversation, chanted again.

Clap along if you feel like fake science is the truth

(Because I'm triggered)

The warrior, her fat rolls on her overweight right arm sending waves of undulating blubber that changed direction with a slight delay as she changed the position of her shaking fist pointing at the target with extreme anger proceeded to compare him to an infamous dictator from the prior century.

All through the onslaught of verbal diarrhea from the disturbed young lady, the target remained calm, denying her the victory that she so desired it had caused her to feel a tingling in a private area that she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Clap along if you know what haughty is what you do

(Because I'm triggered)

Tiring now from all the black poisons that infested her soul being expelled and not getting a rise from her target, she permitted him the opportunity to give his viewpoint so that she could be justified in continued raging against the systemic racism inherent in the unfair and unjust society that she lived in.

He just finished his chant.

Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

(Because I'm triggered)

The bus arrived and he gratefully got on with the rest of the waiting passengers. Leaving the warrior with a Pyrrhic victory at best or a total loss at the least.

She addressed her still recording phone and future audience. The self-important elite felt that all who could view this video should do so and spread it far and wide. This was an injustice to all the principles she held dear!

What she didn’t notice was that her cell phone had morphed into a prior year’s model as her image on the screen began to develop acne ruptures on her pristine face.

Still ranting about the unfairness of the world and how she and her fellow warriors would soon be empowered by the elite to openly quash those evil people, she didn’t notice as her teeth developed vivid pink braces and her hair lost its neon blue tint to become a quite ordinary shade of mousy brown.

Her phone continued to morph from a smart one into a flip phone. It couldn’t record videos, but that didn’t phase her as she implored her fellow warriors to rise up and right the wrongs of the stilted society that they lived in.

Her braces disappeared as most of her teeth pulled back into her jaw. The flip phone now turned into a toy phone with a happy face on its old-fashioned dial front. The little girl talked to her imaginary friend on the other line just like mommy did as her clothing morphed into a striped play shirt that came down to her belly button and thick cotton pants that covered most of her diaper leaving its top to peek out.

The little toddler sat down on the pavement, oblivious to the people around her that stared as she continued to talk to one imaginary friend after another, hanging up and dialing the rotor on the front of her toy while happily humming tunelessly between her conversations.

Fin.