The Gap Kid, by Tabula Rasa and EgARednu Sphinx

Chapter 1
The Gap Kid

Chapter Description: By Tabula Rasa and EgARednu Sphinx

The Gap Kid

By Tabula Rasa and EgARednu Sphinx

"I’m not too thrilled about wearing them at all. I mean, race car briefs? That’s got to be a mistake."

Sometimes things just fit together perfectly. Only a few days before, Jeremy had been worried out of his mind. He’d talked to his parents, and money had come up. Specifically, Jeremy needed more of it. His father hadn’t been keen on the idea. Admittedly, tuition was expensive, but his parents seemed to think that tuition covered everything. Which meant they weren’t willing to give him any spending money.

So Jeremy needed a job. Problem was, he was just barely keeping up in his classes as it was, so a job would essentially end his social life, which would defeat the purpose of having spending money in the first place.

And then, out of the blue, Jeremy’s problems were solved. An ad, hidden away in the newspaper:

Make Money Walking to Class

Be a Campus Representative for the Gap

Make up to $50/day

It seemed like the perfect offer, so Jeremy called the number and got an interview for the next day. The local Gap headquarters proved to be a small office on the second floor of a downtown office complex. He walked in and introduced himself to the secretary. Only a few minutes later he was invited in to a tiny conference room with a large, dark window on one wall.

He hadn’t been sure what to expect, but the interview was incredibly thorough. The man interviewing him wanted to know about everything. His family, his grades, his interests, his friends. On and on. Finally, towards the end, he got around to explaining what the job actually involved.

"It’s pretty simple. We’re trying to increase awareness of the Gap on campus, so what we do is hire people to wear our clothes in the hopes of making other people want to buy them. Basically, if you’re hired, every week we’ll ship you a package of clothes for that week, and we expect you to wear them. You make ten dollars a day for the first week, and then more if everything works out."

It sounded pretty pointless to Jeremy, but he figured that wasn’t his problem. "It sounds great."

"Okay. We’ll contact you in a day or two to let you know."

Sure enough, the next day he got a phone call. "Hi, Jeremy?"

"Yeah. Speaking."

"Great. This is Mark from the Gap. If you’re still interested, we’d like to hire you."

"Yeah, definitely!"

"Terrific. You’ll get your first package, and a pay check for the first week, on Monday."

Jeremy could hardly wait. He didn’t care much about the job, but free clothing and money for doing essentially nothing was an amazing deal. Monday arrived, and the package along with it. Jeremy snatched the check. Seventy dollars. More money than he’d spent in the last month combined.

He glanced through the rest of the package. Sure enough, seven small, wrapped bundles, the first one labeled "Tuesday." He cashed the check that afternoon, and the next morning he’d already gotten dressed before he remembered his job.

He opened the Tuesday package. A blue t-shirt and khaki shorts. Nothing too exciting. Actually, he probably already owned clothes exactly like them. The rest of the week was similar. Every day a slightly different cut of t-shirt (and once a plaid button-down on top), and a new pair of shorts. Although he hadn’t realized it, a perk of his "job" was that he was better dressed than he’d ever been before. Getting brand new clothes to wear every week was quite a deal in itself.

Jeremy didn’t spend much during the week, but he went out to dinner both Friday and Saturday, and pitched in for a party Saturday night. By the time Monday rolled around, he was relieved to have another check coming in. Jeremy cashed the check, glad to fill his wallet again, then put the clothes from the previous week back in the package and sent it back as instructed.

Tuesday’s clothes were typical, but Wednesday represented a slight shift towards informality, with a tank top and jean shorts replacing the usual t and khaki combination. He’d worried at first that he’d be cold, but it was late enough in spring that it was pretty comfortable. In fact, the new clothes inspired him to break his usual routine, and he spent the afternoon outside in a game of frisbee.

Thursday and Friday marked a return to a t-shirt, but with another pair of jean shorts, while the weekend brought two more tank tops. Still enjoying his new clothing, he spend Saturday downtown with a few friends, blowing all his money and a little more, and all of Sunday outside, as one excuse after another (sunbathing...frisbee...midnight game of tag) distracted him from his school work. After a Monday morning spent frantically completing two problem sets, Monday’s package was a welcome sight indeed, particularly since he’d apparently gotten a raise, along with a note.

Jeremy,

Hope things are working out for you. As far as we’re concerned, you’re doing a great job, so we upped your pay a little. Incidentally, in exchange for the higher salary, we do expect you to wear Gap clothes exclusively. We assume that won’t be a problem.

Best,

Mark

His hundred dollar salary for the week let him repay his roommate and still left plenty for the next weekend. He hadn’t been wearing anything but the clothes they sent him, so he wasn’t sure what more ’exclusively’ would require. Tuesday’s clothing made it clear: along with another t-shirt and pair of shorts, this time they’d included white socks and striped boxer briefs. He couldn’t imagine why they cared what underwear he wore, but they were paying him enough that it didn’t matter.

Underneath, to his surprise, was a second package, labeled, "Tuesday evening." When he opened it that night, he discovered long checkered flannel pants and a sleeveless t-shirt. He’d been planning to go to bed, but once he put them on he decided to stay up. In fact, he ended up staying awake until five, playing video games, until he fell asleep from exhaustion.

Of course, the lack of sleep, as well as forgetting to set the alarm, caused him to miss most of his morning classes. When he did finally scramble out of bed, he was glad he didn’t have to worry about choosing clothes. He threw on the Wednesday package and took off for his Bio class, neglecting to grab his half finished problem set.

He stumbled back into the room, totally embarrassed at his lame..."Um, my dog ate it?" excuse for forgetting his homework. He decided to skip the rest of his classes, and changed, early, in to his Wednesday evening clothes...a long t-shirt, and boxer shorts, this time. He surfed the internet until he found some great old SNES games, and stayed up too late playing them, just like the previous night.

Even though he was tired, his next day’s clothes contained a surprise: the boxer shorts had, of all things, an outline of a racetrack printed on them. The rest of it was normal enough, so he let it pass, but the evening clothes followed up on the trend: his long pajama pants had motorcycles on them, and the shirt had one in the center. He decided to call Mark, but it was well after closing hours and he didn’t have a home number for Mark. He resolved to call in the next morning.

He stayed up late again, so the next morning was pretty much the afternoon. He didn’t remember his concerns about the clothing until he opened the next package. The sleeveless t-shirt with "Speed Demon" and a silly character was bad. The track pants were fine. But the underwear was unacceptable. He called Mark.

"Hi, Mark? This is Jeremy. I’m one of the campus representatives."

"Yeah, of course. How’s it going?"

"Well, there’s a bit of a problem with the clothes. They’re, well, childish."

"Oh. Well, I’m sorry you don’t like parts of our product line. But remember we make lots of clothes for lots of people. You aren’t going to like them all. I think the rest of the week may have the same problem, but I can definitely try and cut down on them for next week."

"I’m not too thrilled about wearing them at all. I mean, race car briefs? That’s got to be a mistake."

"What can I tell you Jeremy? It’s part of the program. You wear what we send. If you’re not comfortable with it, we’ll be sorry to lose you, but you can stop anytime. But, I can tell you that you get a big bonus if you’ll just finish the week."

Jeremy hung up and decided to meet Mark halfway. He put on the t-shirt and the pants, but wore a pair of his own boxer shorts underneath. All through his first class, his conscience got to him. Sure, they’d never know, and it didn’t really matter, but they were paying him a lot for very little work, and he was ripping them off. Finally, consumed with guilt, he raced back to his room and switched into the childish briefs. He didn’t love the idea, but it was better than the guilt.

That night’s clothes were as childish as the previous ones, if not more so: the motorcycles had been replaced by stars and planets. By this time, however, he was getting used to the childish clothing (and it was still better than the underwear), so he threw it on and got in bed. He tossed for a few minutes, and then realized that there was no reason he had to go to bed, and so spent yet another night playing video games.

By the next day he’d given up on class entirely. He overslept his alarm, and initially rushed to get dressed, throwing on the plain white briefs, the mesh shorts, and the striped t-shirt, but once he was dressed, he reconsidered. After all, he had a game to finish. He’d missed lunch, and only went to dinner because a friend knocked on his door and insisted he come.

His pajamas for the night had a skater on them, and he initially planned to play more video games. Once he’d changed, however, he began to feel guilty. He knew when he was supposed to go to bed, and he hadn’t been. Feeling bad, he shut off the light and went right to bed.

When he went to get dressed the next morning, he actually thought the football helmets on his white briefs were kind of cool. He put on those and the undershirt, but he decided that he didn’t need to get dressed, since he was just going to play games. After all, he hadn’t played much the night before.

After a while, he heard his door open, and a woman stepped in. She walked over to him and knelt down. To his surprise, she was much taller than he was.

"Hi sweetie."

It took him a moment to recognize her. "Hi mommy!"

"Are you ready to come home?"

He looked around. Wasn’t this...no she was right. Where was he?

"Let me help you get dressed."

She helped him into his overalls, picked him up, and carried him out as he fell asleep on her shoulder.

The End.