"The Christmas Wish"

Chapter 3
Autumn

The past few months had been among the best in Daniel’s life. After signing up for the home’s “buddy” program, he now took Tommy out for dinner every weeknight before sending him back. And during the weekends, he would swing by and pick him up for a day of fun. They rode the wooden roller coaster in the local amusement park, gaped at sharks and moray eels at the aquarium, hiked thru the mossy woods to a hidden waterfall that frothed and glittered in the mist, or sometimes just lay on the grass outside his apartment watching the clouds go by.

“So where to today?” Tommy asked eagerly as he climbed aboard the car. “Well, the science center has a new 3D show about dinosaurs.” Daniel smiled as they sped off, with Tommy bouncing behind with puppyish excitement. They were more than an hour early for the show, so Daniel decided to kill some time at the planetarium, which was about to run a short presentation titled “Junior Stargazers.”

The planetarium wasn’t much larger than a garage, with a domed ceiling and a control pod in the middle. They filed in with the other families and sat on the bench that wrapped around its circular wall. A tall elderly man with a volunteer badge launched into a brief history of astronomy, then the lights dimmed and the control pod opened, revealing a projector that filled the dome with an image of the starry night sky. “Now who can help me find the constellations we just talked about?” the elderly man drawled.

“I can!” Tommy sprang to his feet and started pointing. “Aries, the Northern Cross, Orion, Pisces, Canis Major…” he rattled off confidently.

“That’s correct!” the elderly man exclaimed. “Now let’s all give our young Galileo a big round of applause!”

But instead of taking a bow, Tommy abruptly bolted from the room. Daniel raced after him as they sprinted thru the exhibition halls and out into the central courtyard. The air was crisp and chilly, and there was nobody else around other than a pair of teenagers shooting a mounted water cannon at a spinning sculpture. Tommy finally stopped, panting hard, leaning against a stone bench in the corner.

“What’s the matter with you?” Daniel asked with concern.

“There’s… there’s someone inside my head!” Tommy blurted with fear in his eyes. “I don’t know how I knew any of those things about the stars! And… and I’ve been having all these nightmares about being someone else, doing things with strangers in strange places. They always end… with a door at the end of a long corridor.”

“A door?”

“Yes, I always try to walk forward to open it, but get frozen with fear and wake up.”

Daniel pulled the trembling boy into his arms. “Look, Tommy. I think we should take you to see a doctor…”

“NO!” Tommy yelled. “I hate doctors!” He tried running away again, but Daniel caught on to his jersey, nearly pulling it off, and gasped when he saw rows of scars, bruises and bright red welts on the boy’s exposed torso.

“What is all this, Tommy?” he asked as the boy hurriedly covered himself back up.

“The other kids at the home… well, sometimes they like to rough me up. It’s no big deal, really.”

“No big deal? Why would they do this to you?”

Tommy paused for a long moment, staring at the ground. “Well,” he finally said in a tiny voice, “it’s because… I like boys. They say it’s wrong and shameful, so they call me faggott and other things like that and then hit me with stuff.”

Daniel’s face turned white as a sheet. It was as if someone had punched him in the gut, and then squeezed savagely at his insides. “You’re still going to be my friend, aren’t you?” Tommy asked worriedly.

“Yes, yes. Of course.”

“Is it wrong for me to like boys?” Tommy asked, looking up at Daniel with teary eyes.

“It’s perfectly normal. There is nothing wrong.” Daniel managed to say in a level voice, his nurturing instincts overpowering his inner turmoil. “Thanks! I knew you’ll believe in me.” Tommy flung his arms around Daniel, who patted his back awkwardly.

The rest of the day passed in a blur for Daniel. Tommy soon reverted to his usual chatty self, and they watched the dinosaur movie and browsed around the exhibits. For dinner, they went to a Korean hole-in-the-wall where Tommy insisted on ordering a seafood pancake the size of bus wheel, and proceeded to lower whole slices into his mouth like a sword swallower. When Daniel finally dropped him off, Tommy put his hand on his shoulder and said “Don’t worry, I’ve been living here for a long time. I can take care of myself. I’ll be fine.” And with a sly pirate smile, he disappeared inside and was gone.

Daniel pulled out of the driveway, drove a short distance and stopped by the side of the road. The memories of his childhood came slamming back like a freight train, the ceaseless teasing, the bullying, the ostracization, his parents’ disapproval, the uncertainty, the doubt, the fear. He thought he had packed all of these into neat little bundles, put them into a chest and sealed them away forever. But this kid had just ripped them all out, and now they were loose again, swirling in a chaotic maelstrom inside of him.

The car windows started to fog up, and the lingering light cast an opalescent glow. Then the sky opened up, and he continued to sit, all alone, as the rain came pounding on the roof like a madhouse jibber-jabber.