Reasons

Chapter 1
Reasons

Chapter Description: We all have good reasons for our actions sometimes

Were you to see the young child who is playing happily right now, you would be mistaken into thinking that she was born almost around twenty three months or so ago. An easy mistake to make really.

After all she is that age but she didn’t used to be.

The child I’m talking about is a perfectly healthy chubby toddler with blonde hair that is slowly becoming darker, her eyes are a dark blue and may darken when she gets older. She is dressed in a thick nappy, yellow baby socks and a pink and yellow baby dress.

She is quite simply a healthy baby girl nearing her second birthday.

Except that two weeks ago she had been a grown adult.

“Are you ready to talk then?” I ask, I won’t go into any details on myself since I’m not the main point behind this session.

The child keeps playing for a minute or two before sliding around on her thickly padded backside to face me.

She blinks at me as if she had forgotten I was there before I hand her what looks like a bracelet and she grips it, a green light coming on to indicate that it’s been activated and anything she says will now be translated into a more developed form of speech.

“Sorry, I got caught up in my play” I could tell, she made me think of my youngest nieces and nephews when they played, young children could fairly lose themselves in their fun.

“That’s okay, you’ll be able to return to it afterwards. Now I understand that your carer, well your mum now, managed to coax you into talking about how you became this way. It wasn’t that long ago that you were a fully grown adult” When I had been handed the case file I had been surprised, it wasn’t every day that you heard about this kind of thing after all.

“I like being this young, it’s fun and pretty relaxing. So much better than what my life had been before” I would have to agree there, her previous life had been a hard one which wasn’t looking to have any hope of a future.

What she had done to give herself a new life was pretty remarkable and many governments were demanding access to her research, which she refused outright since she had made sure that all of her research would be destroyed as soon as she became the age she is now. She didn’t want it to fall into corrupt hands.

“But why this young exactly? There isn’t a lot you can do” I would have thought she would have become eighteen years old or back to her early twenties, to make herself this young didn’t make any real sense. There wasn’t a lot that young children could do.

“That is exactly why I made myself this young. Oh I know you’re thinking that I could have become a teenager again or an adult in their prime of life, but that would only mean going back to the stresses of a life I was trying to escape from. I could have shared my creation with so many others as well but I was fearful that my research could be misused by those who value money above life, I didn’t want it to be abused like that” Understandable if a shame, her research could have saved so many lives, but I understand why she destroyed it. In the hands of corrupt governments it would be used against the very people it could help.

“You were a well renowned man though, you were respected in the science community” And she had been, her studies and research on genetics had been inspiring. To turn her back on that for her new life must have taken some considerable soul searching, or maybe fear.

“I was never a man, my body was, yes, but I was not. Women are not exactly looked upon favourably in the science community, transwomen even more so. My research and years of work were all to find a way to change my genetics just enough so that I could have the body I was meant to have, instead of the body that nature had me born with” She had never been able to begin transition due to health concerns, so she forced herself to pretend to be male while living in misery.

It wasn’t until she was in her eighties did she finally discover what she had spent years looking for.

“Did you do this instantly or did you take time to think it over? The risks must have been quite high” I try not to let out an ’Awwww!’ when she nods her head. She really is very adorable and I am fighting every impulse to sit her on my lap and give her a little bounce as she talks.

“I had to be sure it would work, the risk of it killing me was quite high indeed but I was determined. I didn’t want to die with regrets from not being able to live my life as myself. My lab assistant was becoming tired of being treated as an inferior by my colleagues and she offered to take care of me if the treatment worked, she also offered to destroy my research if it worked or not so to prevent it falling into corrupt and greedy hands. After I burned the last of my bridges I took the treatment” A very effective treatment it had turned out to be going by how well it had worked.

“What did it feel like? Was it a slow process?” It must have been painful considering the sheer amount of changes she had undergone.

“To say it was painful would be an understatement of epic proportions. I truly believed I was going to die from the pain. My entire body changed within minutes but those minutes felt like hours, I could feel every change happening. My old body was being eaten away while my new body was developing, I could feel old body parts being absorbed into me while new ones grew, I could feel my body becoming completely and fully female.

And then there was the process of becoming younger, I could feel my body compacting as I shrunk, I could feel my mind losing much of it’s development from years of growth. Were it not for this communications bracelet that my assistant had made to help me communicate for short periods of time once I become too young to speak too well then I would have never been able to talk until I was much older again” The bracelet was quite fascinating and the only one of it’s kind, the research into it was also destroyed.

“You must be delighted that you are fully female at last then” Another adorable nod, her curly baby hair bouncing with the motion.

Resist giving her a cuddle and bounce on the lap, must resist. Her carer is sitting nearby listening, she isn’t saying anything though, she’s just keeping a watchful eye on her new daughter.

“Very much so. Although it will be some time before I become the woman I was always meant to be physically, I intend and hope to grow up as the little girl I should have been. I hope to live my new life to it’s fullest” I can see the green light on the bracelet blinking and changing to yellow.

“Bracewet is wosing power, can’t say anything mowe” The bracelet powers down and she drops it, blinks and looks over to her new mother, raising her arms up in an indication to be picked up.

That was short but interesting. I can understand why she would prefer to be this way now, it was a chance of a new life in full.

The people in power wouldn’t be happy but there isn’t anything they can do about it now, the research is lost along with any back ups she had made.

“I guess that concludes this interview. Are you sure there are no other back ups? Imagine the medical advances her findings could offer” Her mother shakes her head, clearly a little annoyed at my question. She has likely been asked many times in the past two weeks.

“Very well. Whenever she’s able to talk again then I’ll be happy to interview her again” I pick the bracelet up from the floor and hand it to the new mother, who takes it and slips it into her handbag.

“We’ll see. Good day”

~~

“Nothing new then?” One of my bosses asks after they’ve finished listening to the interview.

“Nothing, sir, she was very set on making sure none of her research got into our hands” A disappointment to be sure.

“Thankfully she didn’t consider that her colleagues would be spying on her, we received information while you were interviewing her that they managed to get copies of the research. We’ve sent some people round to confirm it” I’m honestly not sure what to think to that news, I can understand why she didn’t want her work to land in the hands of those who would misuse it. They are my bosses though.

As I finish my work later that day I ask myself if what I’m doing is right, or if I could be helping to makes things worse for so many. My conscience yells at me while my dedication to my job tries to silence it.

But was she right to try and prevent her work from getting into the wrong hands? Am I in the right in helping them get it?

I really don’t know.

I also believe, as I begin to feel my clothes loosen, that I may have not gotten all of the information from the adult turned child after all.

Her new mother was clearly very protective of her, and the small time release capsule I find on my desk seconds later confirms it.

Maybe in my new life I’ll develop my conscience better.

Maybe.