A Little Common Sense

Chapter 2
Part 2

I woke, feeling odd and I had a distinct need to visit the bathroom. I slid, and slid again out of bed, I stumbled for the bathroom door, and turned on the light.

I screamed, a loud, high pitched wail that could have been heard down the street. The sink, the toilet, everything looked so incredibly big. I looked down, and screamed again. Somehow I was attached to the body of a small child. In spite of myself, I walked over to the toilet before I went on the floor, and kept looking around.

This was impossible. I pinched myself three times before I was able to believe I wasn’t dreaming. As soon as I finished, I rushed back to the bedroom, turned on the light, and stared at myself in the full length mirror hanging on my closet door.

I stood maybe four and half feet tall, I looked to be about eleven. Eleven, I thought, there is nothing in the world more bratty than an eleven-year-old with a sarcastic mouth.... But this is completely crazy. I was going to show Geoff a real brat, but not like this..... Although this has possibilities.

I started pacing the room. Okay, I thought, what happened? Somehow, whether or not by magic or some agent unknown, I had turned into a small child. A rather handsome, young man, at that, I thought, but one that looked nothing as I had as a child, or any of my family. Could I change back to me?

Do I want to change back to me? I don’t have a Mom and Dad to look out for me, I have billions of dollars, but no one would believe me if I told them that.

I could start fresh, I thought as I sat back down on the bed. I would have a second chance at life. Why? My first one was great, nothing wasted, although I could go for more extended vacations, but.... If I couldn’t change back to me?"

Bobby, he might believe me if I emailed him, and had him over. What would I wear? I thought as I glanced at the pajamas on the bed that now looked a dozen sizes too big. I must have fallen out of them when I changed.

I could order children’s clothes online, and bikes and toys and everything else that an eleven year old would want, but.... I yawned and thought I had better get back to sleep. I took the pajamas and tossed them to the middle of the floor. If I woke up an old man, I would want some sort of proof this wasn’t a dream.

I yawned and stretched, and looked at my hand, then the rest of me. It was me, old, with gray hairs and wrinkles, but it would be a lot easier this way, In some ways, I was disappointed, it would have been fun to be a kid.... I blinked. My hand changed to a small boy’s. All of me had changed to a small boy. But what about my business meeting. One blink later and I was back to me, again. I decided right then and there I had gone totally nutso, but I was going to enjoy it while it lasted. All I had to do was buy a lot of size eleven clothes.

Or was I size eleven? I padded out of the room, still completely bare, and walked into my wife’s sewing room. I know that one of these days I would have to do something with the room, but there was no rush. There hadn’t been for the five years since her death, either.

I found a measuring tape, paper and pen and proceeded to take notes, chest, waist, hips, feet, arms and inseams. God, I was small. With a shake of my head, reminding me to add haircut to the list, I went back to the bedroom, concentrated and dressed in my best suit.

As I knotted my tie, again, I stared in the mirror for a moment. If things weren’t odd enough, I could swear I looked younger. My hair wasn’t so white, and my face wasn’t so wrinkled. This was great. Maybe I should turn into a kid more often, at this rate maybe I’d meet myself halfway.

The entire office stood up and applauded as I walked inside. I took a moment, bowed, and cleared my throat. "I’m not sure what rumors have been circulating, or what you have been told, there is no one in this company who is about to be let go. In fact, I intend to hire a lot more people for our new branch office as well."

Again, everyone applauded.

"These are for you," my secretary, Donna Grant said, and pointed at a three large sacks of mail. "Telegrams, actually, from people, mostly children, from around the world. They all love you for saving their favorite soft drink."

"Best news I have had for a while. Would you have someone bring them into my office? I have a busy day ahead. Oh, and I need you to do me a favor. I need kids’ clothes, well clothes for one kid. He’s eleven, and it’s been too long since I had one in the house. Can you make out sizes from these?" I handed her the measurements.

She read my notes for a moment, and said, "A little small for an eleven year old. Ten, maybe, about the same size as my Aaron. One of your grandkids?"

"No, they are for a young man who needs them."

She smiled and nodded. "You’ve picked up a stray?"

"In a manner of speaking. He needs just about everything from underwear to shoes. I don’t know what kids are wearing these days, so would you?"

"Of course," she said with another smile. "He maybe a little old for a baby sitter, but you are welcome to bring him over anytime to play with Aaron. I’ll call ’Alexander’s’. Do you want them delivered here, or to the house?"

"To the house, and get some toys, and one of those game machines I keep seeing."

"Shoot the works for him?"

I nodded. "Yes. My son, Geoffrey was complaining last night that I don’t spend like a rich old man. Well, I don’t need that much myself, so I can spend on the kid instead. His name is Kevin, too."

"Done."

I have to be on a roll, I thought. Everything, from the meetings with management to the meetings with the press were going perfectly. Everything until I received a call at half past three that afternoon. I felt my stomach sink as I heard Geoff’s voice.

"Pop, what are you doing?"

"Working," I answered him, quietly. "I have a meeting in about ten minutes with the TV people. What do you want?"

"I meant what you are doing by ordering three tons of kids’ clothes?" He asked. "Pop, you don’t have any kids living here, remember? You don’t need kids’ clothes."

"Since when is it your business what I need or don’t need? I have a slew of grandkids having birthdays this summer, and where do you think I get presents for them?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Pop, your grandkids are a lot older than this. Brittany is almost nineteen."

"I am aware of that, but when you count up my grandkids, are you including only your three, or are you counting your nieces and nephews? I have grandkids in all shapes and sizes and ages. Not only that they have cousins whom they number in the dozens that also need presents. This round, I bought for the middle kids, I promise you I will not forget your children for their birthdays, although I find it harder getting presents for teenagers and young adults. It’s harder still to find presents for grown children who have no business being at my house, deciding for me what I do and do not need, and sticking their big, fat noses in where they don’t belong. Am I making myself quite clear, Geoffrey?"

"Yes, Pop."

"When I get home this evening, I expect to find each and every item in my living room, unmolested, is that clear?"

"Uh - I sent them back."

"You what?" I asked, barely stopping myself from shouting.

"I didn’t know what you were buying for, Donna said you had a stray kid, and I wanted to check it out. I sent the clothes back."

"It so happens I do have a stray kid, and is the driver still there?"

"No, he left before I called you."

"It will be worth your next two months of income if you don’t get those clothes back to my house, immediately. Is that clear?"

"I can’t do that. How would it look?"

"Don’t worry about it. I will arrange it. I don’t know what you are going to do for money the next two months, but I’m sure you will think of something. Geoffrey, if I ever catch you over at my house, without an explicit invitation from me, I will have you charged with trespassing. If that doesn’t work I will issue a peace bond against you, and take whatever other measures I must, to ensure my privacy. That includes seeing you spend time in jail.

"Now," I said and pushed a button on my phone. "I’m taping this conversation. You can either hang up, and be completely written out of my will, or you will agree to be taped. I don’t care either way, right now."

"Okay, tape the conversation."

"Do you really think I don’t know what you are doing? You seem to be watching me, jumping to conclusions in the mean time, and gathering whatever evidence you think you could take to a judge to have me declared senile. You think, by doing so, you can pull a power play on your siblings, and take control of the company. In turn, you would turn the company over to Merganser and Stork. Am I right? And you had damn well better not lie about this."

"Pop, I.... I would never do a thing like that."

"I had Fred Merganser on the phone today. I let him know I was bringing charges against him to the SEC, and guess what, he came clean. I have that on tape, too."

"That son of a bitch! If he thinks he can get away with this...." Geoff blurted out.

"I will take that as an admission of guilt, am I right."

"Okay, we had a deal. I’m sorry, Pop, I really am. I was thinking of you. If you weren’t so involved with that company of yours...."

"I see. Take that line of bullshit and shove it, sonny boy. I am not about to be put out to pasture by you or anyone else. Whether or not I offer help to kids that need it, buy presents for my other grandchildren, or take my money and burn it, isn’t your concern. How I live my life, isn’t your concern.

"Now, the tape is off, and I hope you have money in the bank, something tells me you will need a lawyer over this. Consider that. Good day, Geoffrey." I hung up the phone.

A second later, I called Alexander’s Department store. I explained what happened had arranged to have the clothes and toys redelivered to the office.

"What was going on?" the clerk asked. "The driver reported that you had a lot of workmen at the house. They were busy."

"What sort of workman?"

"Not sure, would you hold the phone for a moment, Mr. Henderson?"

A moment later, she came back on the line. "Tim, the driver said they were from ADC Alarm company."

"Thanks for that, and tell Tim if he delivers the packages to this office I will make sure he is appropriately thanked for that

information."

"Will do."

I put a call through to the alarm company. "Yes, my name is Kevin Henderson, I understand you had people working at my house today?"

"Just a moment, I can check the schedule. "Henderson.... Yes, we had a Mr. Geoffrey Henderson call us for the installation. You are Mr. Kevin Henderson, and you own the house at 9110 Greenbriar Way?"

"That’s me. What sort of installation?"

"Your son? Your son ordered the house wired for sound, and video.

He said that you were having trouble with corporate spies, and needed to gather evidence against them."

At least, I thought, there wasn’t a camera in the house last night to catch a very small, and very naked kid wandering the house. "I never authorized any of this. If my son presented papers with my signature they were forged."

"No, sir. He said he was doing this as a surprise for you."

"That it is. How soon can you get a crew back out to the house to remove everything that was installed? I want it all gone by the time I get there, and I want someone from your company to be there, and show me what was done. I will pay whatever is necessary for this work, overtime, double time, what ever is necessary. I am going to bring my own security people with me to make sure the work is done properly."

"But we have a contract with your son."

I sighed. "He is not the homeowner. I would have every right to sue you for this since you did not have my permission to install this equipment no matter what my son said. I do not wish to buy your company, but I will if I have to, to get this job done. You will also answer to me if you even think about giving my son a refund for this. Is this clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Also, tell them I want them to upgrade the alarm system there, redo the locks on the door, and under no circumstances is my son, Geoffrey, to be given the keys. I want this on record that if he sets off the alarm he is trespassing and I want the police called. Can this be done today?"

"Of course. I will have a manager waiting for you when you get home."

Then, I called Donna.

"Yes, Mr. Henderson?" she asked as she entered the office.

"How long have you been passing information to my son, Geoffrey?"

She sat down with a puzzled look on her face. "Passing information?"

"Yes, about me or the company? You told him about the clothes?"

"I did. He calls in at least once every day, he worries about you."

I nodded. "So much so that he’s been busy trying to sell this company out to Merganser and Stork along with everyone else. I don’t blame you, but from now on it will be worth your position here to tell him anything including the time of day. If he calls, put him on hold until I can take the call. Okay? I want a memo sent out, email it, mail it, but get it to every employee telling them that, as well. No one is to talk to Geoffrey about me or the company."

"I’ll do that right away."

 

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