Spring Eternal

Chapter 4
Shopping can be Hell

Chapter Description: Iris continues her day out with Cal.

A sudden loudly clanging crash from nearby jolted Calvin awake, wrenching him from the dark fog that had wrapped around him.

Gasping, he felt like he had been roughly pulled out of deep dark pool and flung onto a bank like a rescued drowning victim. He blinked his drowsy eyes a few times as he tried to get them to focus. Where was he? His head lolled slightly before he could hold it upright to turn it to take in his surroundings. The sense of unceasing motion and blurry lighting assaulted his still fuzzy eyesight, adding to his confusion. The swelling din of noise created by people and machines set against a din of twenty year old pop music washed over him. After a minute, his vision finally cleared as found himself leaning against the diaper bag that was shoved into the space beside him in the shopping cart in the produce section of a grocery store.

He was glad to find that they had made it to grocery store, leaving the mall behind with its upsetting chain of events. He had a hard time remembering anything that happened since his meltdown in the play area. He felt that he had just been floating along in inky darkness without concern for anything happening around him. He tried to recall anything thing that had happened since the mall. He hazily recalled moments where outside world poked through the thick blanket of sleep. The first time, he opened his eyes briefly as he was being placed in the car seat; the pattern of Iris’ blouse was inches from his face. Another memory of bouncing along in Iris’s arms in the grocery store parking lot came forward. His cheek pressed to her shoulder, he could see the line of parked card to his left before his too heavy eyelids shut again. He recalled being dimly aware of drooping body being lifted and manipulated. Uncaring, he felt his slack limbs being threaded into an oddly cold and binding contraption. He was only slightly aware of a hard unforgiving seat pressing up against his tail and back bone that held him upright.

As he began to wake, he sullenly rubbed at his face, dislodging a foreign object from the lower half. He looked down to see the pacifier that Iris had thrust upon him in the mall dangling from a strap attached to his shirt. A sting of shiny spit ran from his mouth down to the pacifier. He looked at it with disgust as the cool string wrapped over his fingertips. He wiped his hand over the side of his shirt and his eyes traveled from his shirt over to his lap. He moved in the seat as he began to work out the kinks in his body that had arisen from his long sleep. He noticed a cool wetness at his crotch, he had obviously wet a little while he was asleep. He bashfully looked to see if Iris had noticed; but when he only saw her distracted face as she tried to navigate the strange new grocery store. She was muttering to herself as her eyes danced over the signs above the mountains of leafy produce to her right. It seemed that she was trying to find everything on Patrice’s list.

Calvin nervously watched Iris, hoping that she managed to shake off her confusion and treat him with a little more dignity pertaining to his particular situation. He could not bear to think that the treatment he had suffered in the mall was going to continue. He was chagrined to remember his meltdown at the mall and realized that he had fallen asleep in Iris’ lap. No wonder she thought he was a child, he acted just like one. With a deep breath, he shook himself and decided that he just had to keep a clear head and not confuse her. He still retained his adult mind and with a little logic and patience he could see the end to this adventure.

He looked down at himself, recognizing the sight he must present. Mere seconds ago, he was sound asleep, drooling on his diaper bag. He wiped his wet chin, looking at the moisture on his palm and fingers with embarrassment and wiped them on the side of his shirt. He had always been home when the need for a nap came upon him and he was surprised that he had succumbed to quickly to his exhaustion even in public. He blamed the exacting morning earlier that morning which had inflamed his need for a nap.

The way the sunshine was pouring in the upper windows of the front of the store told him that it was past mid afternoon. He felt rather lost as he tried to get his bearings as he looked around the store.

“Oh, look who woke up!” Iris proclaimed as Calvin felt her eyes land on him. “Are you in a better mood, now?”

“Iwis, puweeza memba Imma naa babee. Ay wau goa oohmuh.” Calvin said slowly and with the best diction he could muster.

He look hopefully up at the woman’s beaming face as he reached for her hand on the shopping cart handle. He prayed that she had somehow regained her hold on reality and was no longer confused. He stared up into her eyes looking for any flash of awareness about him. Iris flatly blinked at the little person in the shopping cart who seemingly babbled at her. Nothing that Calvin said managed to penetrate her benevolent maternal fog. With a pat on the little body before her, she took a step away to pick up a bag of onions from the stand and reached behind Calvin to place it in the cart.

“Come on, sweetie. Let’s get this shopping done.” She announced with a chirpy enthusiasm, looking over his head and began pushing the cart. “Then we can go home and make dinner.”

There was something about the way Iris had just spoken to him that spooked Calvin. There wasn’t anything that definitively stood out, but nonetheless, it disconcerted him. Calvin sat back against the shopping cart seat and looked around uncomfortably as the mature woman navigated the cart out of the produce section. Calvin had not been in a shopping cart seat since he was a child the first time around. It was a surreal experience to go through it again as adult. It was odd to travel backwards as the cart was directed by someone else.

He told himself that they just had to get the shopping done and they could go home. Calvin hoped that it would go quickly and smoothly. He desperately wanted this debacle of a day to come to a speedy end. Perhaps, he thought, once they were home that Patrice and Randall could reason with Iris and get her back on the program.

Calvin sat there quietly as he watched Iris shop. He had not been in a grocery store since his release from the hospital. Randall and Patrice always arranged it that one of them picked up groceries after their classes. He watched Iris study the shopping list, mutter and glance at the signs overhead. Knowing that he could not assist, since he was unfamiliar with the store as well, he sat back to watch.

Iris pulled the cart over to the side, to decipher where the next item would be located in the store. As Calvin sat there, he spotted a gorgeous young woman in worn jeans and a colorful print halter top was briskly walking down the aisle toward them. His eyes were drawn to her, looking over her flat tan tummy with the silver glint of a belly ring in the navel peeking out over the low cut jeans. She was absolutely stunning. The very attractive woman noticed his attention, catching his eye and smiled at him as she approached. As an adult, Calvin would have taken the signal and tried to initiate a conversation although she was clearly out of his league. To his embarrassment, he realized that this smile was different. It wasn’t the smile of an interested part, it was the sweet nonthreatening smile showered on small children. He shyly ducked his head, dismissing any thoughts about the young woman in his head.

“Hi there, handsome.” The woman murmured as she passed their cart.

Calvin tried to turn his awkward body to follow her with his eyes as she walked away. Despite himself, he leaned out over the edge to peer after the goddess. Iris looking away from her list noticed Calvin’s posture, as he leaned over the edge of the shopping cart, watching the retreating figure.

“Be careful, sweetie. We don’t want to fall out, do we?” Iris piped as she placed her hands around his chest and straightened him in his seat.

A few minutes later, Iris stopped by the bakery to pick up some bread. She began to visit with the lady in the white apron behind the counter. The chatty baker seeing the small quiet child in the cart, held out a sugar cookie wrapped in a piece of wax paper across the display. Iris thanked the baker as she took it and waved it temptingly in front of him. Calvin did not respond enthusiastically to the sight of the cookie, but looked away from it. Iris simply disregarded his reaction as she broke a small piece of the cookie off and tried to place it in his mouth. Calvin who had had enough of unwelcome intrusions in his mouth, kept his mouth shut and turned his head away to the older woman’s attempt to feed him a piece of cookie.

“I guess you don’t want it.” Iris shrugged and popped the piece into her mouth.

She wrapped the wax paper around the rest of the cookie. She placed the cookie in the diaper bag for later. For next twenty minutes, Calvin found himself being pushed up and down the aisles of the large grocery store as Iris went over Patrice’s list. The older woman kept talking, providing a detailed and mildly dramatic monologue to the small person in the cart as she perused the selection before her. Everyone once in a while, she would ask a rhetorical question to him without waiting for an answer. They were about halfway through the list, when Calvin noticed Iris turning into the baby care aisle.

“We need to get something for you!” Iris announced in a sing song voice.

Iris was surprised to see no baby food items on Patrice’s list. She thought she would pick a few things up for the little one in her cart. She grabbed another package of baby wipes and powder. She bent over and gathered a few jars of meat sticks, chunky vegetables, and added a box of animal crackers as a treat. When she turned to deposit them into the cart, Calvin was appalled. He was quite use to consuming the adult food that Randall and Patrice ate. Sure, it wasn’t the most sophisticated fare, but there was no reason to limit him to the assorted varieties of the leading baby food manufacturer. Then to top it off, she placed the large economy brightly colored package of diapers in the shopping cart. Although, Calvin knew they were a necessary evil in his present form, his remaining ego didn’t want to advertise it so blatantly to the general public.

Calvin held his hands up to block Iris, who simply avoided his short reach. She gushed at his protests as she placed the items in the cart behind him. Calvin tried to reach over to remove them but could not reach down from his perch far enough into the cart. As he tried to twist in the seat, Iris returned to back to the handle of the cart.

“Yes, that’s right. Those are for you!” Iris stated as she misread Calvin’s reaction to the large bag. “Now, we just have to go the meat market and we’ll be ready to go!!”

Calvin breathed a sigh of relief; the end was in sight on this journey. Since it was becoming late in the afternoon, more people had entered the store. A line had accumulated at the butcher counter. Iris took a number and stood back away from the counter to wait for it to be called. The line was slow going. There were at least a fourteen numbers to go before their number came up... Iris moved her cart over to a spot out of the traffic. A young mother with infant moved over beside her to wait her turn at the butcher counter. She cheerfully greeted Iris as she pulled her cart up next to Iris’, stating what a crowd had gathered. Directly across from him, the dark haired drooling baby in lady’s cart looked over at Calvin with large innocent eyes. Calvin hoped there would be no attempts at interaction as he willed the baby to stay back.

As he sat in the cart, Calvin watched the people shuffling around the meat display. As he did, he felt a faint cramp in his lower abdomen as he tried to wait quietly. His eyes moved about the people in the surrounding area. He shifted in his seat but again, he had that feeling in his gut, this time a little stronger. He understood the message his body was sending him. He held his breath as he held his abdominal muscles still. Realizing that it was a waiting game he could not win, he reached toward Iris and patted her hand to get her attention. Perhaps, he could convince her that they could just forego the butcher and get back to the house. It was all set up to handle the impending event, so he could maintain his dignity as possible. If only he could get Iris’ attention as he concentrated on patting her hand.

Iris did not look at him but absent mindedly around him and stroked his back as she continued to chat with the young mother. He leaned forward in his seat to pull at her forearm and as he did so, the compression on his abdomen was too great to resist. To his horror, he felt a mass to escape his body and collect in the back of his diaper. Calvin closed his eyes in dread as he realized what had happened. He remained leaning forward as he felt the warm mush push out the back of his diaper. Now, the worst had happened. He was stuck in public with a load in his pants. Although he knew it was a long shot, he closed his eyes and prayed no one noticed.

Seconds later, the young mother’s sensitive nose caught the familiar smell. She casually leaned over and checked her charge by pulling the back of her baby’s diaper away. Shaking her head, she stated that it wasn’t her baby. Iris turned her head to regard Calvin who sat there keeping his eyes averted. She leaned over and pulled the puckered diaper away from Calvin’s waist. She made a sound of discovery that sealed Calvin’s fate. He moaned a little as she gave him a comforting pat on his bottom, pressing the cooling lump of waste over his backside.

Picking up the diaper bag and slinging it over her shoulder, she plucked Calvin from the cart. She placed him on her hip with her hand against the back of his diaper, inadvertently smearing the mess even further. Calvin moaned and pressed his face into her blouse as Iris asked about the bathrooms in the store. The young mother pointed to the hallway about thirty feet away and volunteered to watch Iris’ cart.

Calvin felt the movement of Iris walking, but did not pull his face away from her blouse. The next thing he heard was the hushing sound of the bathroom door opening and closing. Iris stopped her momentum and pivoted

“Here we go!” Iris announced as she unfolded the changing station and placed Calvin on his back on it. “Let’s get you cleaned up!”

Calvin turned his face to the wall as Iris dug around the diaper bag for the supplies of the diaper change, unable to face her. Although he logically knew that it was not Iris’ fault, emotionally he wanted someone to blame for him being in the predicament.

As he lay there, his temper began to boil, as the reality that Iris was soon going to be wiping his dirty bottom in front of anyone who happened to pass by. Hadn’t he already suffered enough in the mall with a wet diaper change, now this even greater nightmare had happened? He looked angrily over at Iris who had no idea of what was going on in his head. He thought Iris who should have known better. If they had gone home earlier, it would have remained a private matter. They wouldn’t be here and he wouldn’t be suffering this ignominy of being set on a public changing station. Couldn’t this woman get anything through her dense head? If she hadn’t been so busy chatting, maybe he could have communicated to her his urgent situation. Oh, no! She had just dismissed his needs. He began to fume with resentment and anger as he lay on the changing station. Resigned to the fact, that Iris not only had to deal with a wet diaper, but also had to change a dirty diaper. Something, he had sought to avoid at all cost. Why had he agreed to Patrice’s suggestion this morning? If he had simply made a declaration then that he wanted to go home he wouldn’t be in this predicament now. He slammed his fists against the surface of the changing table in reaction to his thoughts. He had had it; his patience was at an end. He heard Iris ripping the tapes on his disposable diaper; the sound was like a gunshot across his deck. Without thinking, all his cooperative behavior flew out the window. He began to struggle and curse as loudly as he could. He kicked his legs and rolled away from Iris.

Iris’ hand smoothly caught his flailing legs in one hand, effectively immobilizing him. He was shocked to feel a small slap on the side of his bottom with the command, ‘Behave’ aimed at him. Despite his appearance, Cal had not received any physical remonstration since his regression. He was an adult, he thought indignantly. He knew he had to submit to this diaper change, but he was not about to be complacent about it. He felt the diaper wipe being pulled across the cheeks of his bottom. To make matters worse, he felt Iris’ finger in between the cheeks, wiping the excrement from the crack. With every stroke of the diaper wipe felt like a blow to his ego. By the time the new diaper was in place, Calvin was boiling with rage.

Unaware of his present emotional state, Iris refastened his shorts and placed him on his feet on the floor while she repacked everything back into the diaper bag.

“Stay there, honey.” Iris instructed as she pointed a finger at the floor.

Clenching his hands into fists, Calvin had had enough. He stared at Iris’s back with true disdain. He couldn’t stand to be near Iris for one second more. At that moment the bathroom door opened by a trio of teenage girls who were busying talking. In a fit of temper, Calvin turned and disappeared out the door before it automatically shut.

Picking up the last item and settling the diaper bag on her shoulder, Iris looked down at the floor expecting to see Calvin. When she did not, she spun around the room, calling his name.

Calvin walked about four feet away from the bathroom door, when the reality of his action hit him. He had allowed his temper to get the better of him. Now, he was out in public, with no guardian. He was as vulnerable as any other run away infant. No one could understand him, his body was awkward and subject to his physical whims just like any other infant. He stood there a moment as he stared at the oversized grocery store and patrons in front of him. When he had stormed out the bathroom, he had not thought about what to do once he was away from Iris. How was he to get home? He suddenly felt a large hand slide across his waist. He was deftly picked up by a large hand and carried back into the restroom. He was set back on his feet on the tile inside the restroom once again.

“You DO NOT run away from me.” Iris enunciated emphatically in his face as she kneeled down to look into his face as her finger punctuated each word.

’How dare she talk to him like that?’ Calvin thought. He batted her finger away with a snarling yell.

“Stop that, little boy!” the woman grabbed both of Calvin’s upper arms in her hands as she sternly warned the small body in front of her.

She brought her finger back up in front of his face.

That did it! Calvin lost all reason as he stared back at Iris. He batted at her finger away from his face as he spun away from her. Iris pulled her head back, her eyes becoming angry.

“I said stop that!” She said threateningly as she pulled his back, the finger once again bouncing in front of his face

Seeing red, Calvin began to fight to free himself. He pushed at her hand that was wrapped around his bicep, pushing and pulling at her fingers as he let unintelligible epitaphs flow from his mouth. In an easy movement, Iris caught and penned both his hands in just one of hers. His hands trapped in front of him, he pulled with all his might to get free. His feet stamped and his body bucked as he yanked to get his hands free from the iron grip of Iris’ hand. Cal used all his might in the struggle to get free without success. Seeing no his efforts were useless, Cal glared at Iris.

With one hand securely holding both of Cal’s hands, the finger from Iris’ other hand came back to point in his face. With rage boiling up in him at the sight of the finger, he let his fury dictate his next move. He struggled once again to free himself, pulling in short yanking movements. When that didn’t work, he allowed the irrational part of himself to come forward. He lunged forward and bit Iris’ offending finger. Before he could grasp what was happening, Calvin found himself suddenly spun and thrust across Iris’ knee as she squat on the floor. Keeping one hand on his back, her other hand came raining down on his diapered bottom in three sharp slaps.

“We do not BITE!” she declared in his face as she jerked him back up into a standing position.

Calvin was trembling with surprise, pain and fear as he stood there. He was reeling from the attack and the pursuant feelings it created. He felt small and vulnerable as he looked up into Iris’ looming face. His face became flushed as he balled his lower lip to keep any sound from issuing forth. His breath was labored and coming out in a staccato rhythm. His jaw was trembling with the force of his emotions assailing him as he stood there with his smarting rear end. Iris’ face hovered, her eyes narrowed as she stared into his eyes, waiting for his capitulation.

For a moment, he stared back at Iris, clinging to the last remnants of his dignity. As time slowed down, even his dignity abandoned him as he stood in the women’s restroom. In the next instant, the wall of his reserve cracked, the corner of his mouth opened up to let out a sob as the emotionally tiring day came crashing down on him. He looked away from Iris’ stern face as he tried to regain control. The pacifier was suddenly pushed back in his mouth. Iris easily picked him up and carried him directly back to the cart without a word. He began to reach up to pull the pacifier out of his mouth, but Iris firmly pulled it hand down with a fierce look in her eyes. Her action deftly telling him to leave it be.

Cal was subdued for the rest of their shopping trip, as he sat in the cart, slowly sucking on the binky in his mouth. He did not look up at Iris or anyone else for that matter as the older woman finished their shopping trip. Eventually, Iris and Calvin arrived back at the house. Iris undid Calvin’s restraints and placed her forearm under his rear. She carried him into the house; the pacifier was still stuck firmly in his mouth.

Patrice and Randall were home when Iris walked through the front door with a bounce in her step. The couple was in the back of the house when Iris entered with Calvin in her arms. She placed Cal on his feet, in the hallway to the bedrooms as she went to the back to talk to Patrice. Cal stood by himself all alone for a minute. Looking around, he was glad to finally be back at the house. He reached up to pull the pacifier out of his mouth. A few inches away from his mouth, his hand froze as he rethought removing the pacifier. For some reason, he didn’t want Iris to come in and find him without it. He could hear the voices at the back of the house, as he meekly walked back to his room. Hugging the wall of the hallway, he didn’t want to talk to anyone just yet. He wanted some time alone in his room to collect himself.

When he crossed the doorway of his room, he went to his bed, stumbling toward it with his hands outstretched. He sat down on the edge and placed his head in his hands as he reeled from the impact of the day’s events. He sat there in numb shock, allowing the peace and quiet to seep into his being. He contemplated going in and revealing all the traumatic events he had gone through to Patrice and Randall. Sure, Iris had made a pig’s ear of the entire day but Cal wasn’t sure that it was intentional. Iris was getting on. If Cal made a huge stink about it, it would only serve to upset Patrice and Iris. He already owed so much to Patrice and Randall. He didn’t want to make their life harder by causing a stink about Iris.

He sat there, trying to make reason of the day’s events. Okay, the diaper changes had been nightmares, but Iris wasn’t used to Cal’s routine. He couldn’t expect her to know what was his customary daily routine was. And the spanking…wasn’t he the one who had started the physical violence with the bite? That was not the most mature action on his part. Iris had every right to react the way she did. The spanking was mortifying, yes, but not completely uncalled for. He didn’t relish sharing the whole experience with Patrice and Randall. Iris was only going to be here for a little while. He should just man up and swallow the whole episode. It wouldn’t do anyone any good, just create unnecessary hard feelings.

It was just then, that Randall appeared at the door of Cal’s room. He was casually leaning against the door frame as he leaned in.

“Hey Cal. How was your day with Iris?” Randall called over with a friendly tone.

Cal raised his head from his hands and looked over at Randall. A snort issued out of Randall’s mouth as his hand came up to cover his mouth twisted in mirth. Cal was puzzled at Randall’s reaction. He started to say something when he realized that the pacifier was still solidly stuck in his mouth.