Control Yourself!

Chapter 7
Chapter 7

Control Yourself! Chapter 7

by Ungulate

“Well, it’s almost September kids, and you know what that means!” Announced John one day.

“Awww!” Said Chelsea. She was old enough to hate school. Amanda was happy though, she would be entering grade 1, and to her, school was really fun. Kim gulped, looking up at John. Would she have to go back too?

“Yes, that’s right Kimberly, you are going into grade 2. I have been talking to the school, and they said you can start in Mrs. Kurtis’ class. Chelsea had her a few years ago… she’s a really nice lady!” Kim’s eyes went wide. She was frightened at the thought of being around other kids. Life at home seemed so good and sheltered, why couldn’t she just stay here?

“Daddy, I don’t want to go!” She whined.

“Kim, you have to learn about things, like everyone else. How will you get a job when you get older? You DO want to grow up some day don’t you?” Kim nodded, sighing.

Life had pretty much relaxed around the Travis household. Kim accepted her role as Chelsea’s little sister (and Amanda’s big sister). She was aware that she had been a grownup, but she didn’t have any of the skills or confidence that her 30 years had given her. She still talked about it occasionally, however, like the time Chelsea argued with her about breasts.

“Boobs feel good… my friend Mandy has them, and she says they get all tingly” Said Chelsea. She couldn’t wait until she had her breasts, and she was always checking her chest in the mirror to see if her nipples were changing.

“Yeah but they make your back sore, and you can’t play tag anymore once you get em’”Answered Kim. In truth, she couldn’t recall the feeling of having boobs, but she liked showing off the fact that she used to be big. “I hated my boobs… they were always getting in the way when I was tryin’ to kiss Daddy.”

Chelsea laughed at her. “Ha! That proves you don’t remember anything, cuz boobs make you feel sexy when you rub them against men! You’re just a little kid now, like any other little kid, and you don’t know anything about being a grownup, so stop acting like you do!”

Kim turned crimson. She hated being reminded about how young she was. For the most part, she just got on with her day as a seven-year-old, but at times like this she felt so tiny and small all over her body.

“Well, you’ll see when you get boobs, and you can’t play tag anymore.” She retorted with indignation. “I’m GLAD I don’t have them!”

“Tag is for babies like you and Amanda!” Said Chelsea, turning away with contempt. “Why don’t you go and play patty-cake in the sandbox, squirt.”

Kim was furious. She kicked hard at the couch as Chelsea left the room, clenching her fists and gritting her teeth. Why did Chelsea always win? She went upstairs to look at herself in the mirror. John had bought her a beautiful pink vanity for her bedroom, and she spent a long time glueing sparkles and shiny plastic beads all around the edges of the mirror. She stood sideways in the mirror, pushing her chest out, squinting her eyes shut to try and imagine what she would look like with breasts. She took her shirt off and tried to push her tiny nipples upwards. She stopped, sighing and letting her arms drop to her sides. Her former life seemed like some sort of weird dream; she was 100% little girl. She pulled her pants down and looked at her vagina. It looked so childish suddenly, this smooth body. She felt a rushing tingle work its way through her system. It felt nice, and made her giggle for some reason. She pulled her pants off and stood in front of the mirror with her hands on her hips, smiling. What a cute girl she was! She looked around her room, full of stuffed ponies and dolls and soft, pink blankets and pillows. She pounced on her bed, bouncing on her knees, looking at herself in the mirror. She even tried sucking her thumb, and cramming a pillow between her legs as she looked at herself. She felt free to do whatever she wanted, and full of energy.

Suddenly, the image in the mirror struck her. Memories quickly flooded back, and she realized her former self. She slowly pulled her thumb out and stared blankly at her reflection. Oh my god, she thought. She looked around the room in slow motion. This is what my life is now… I have become a child in every aspect. Tears began to form in her eyes, partly from the grief of losing all her power, and partly at the sheer joy of having her life become so beautiful and simple. She let the tears wash over her as she closed her eyes, face pointed upwards.

She realized that she had control of her mind now. She could march out to the kitchen and help John with supper, resuming her former duties and status in the household. Yet she remembered the torment of losing her maturity bit by bit, and how much anguish she had put John through the last time she had mentally “grown up.” She had struggled against her seven-year-old mind with every ounce of strength, but in vain. She could not subject herself or her family to that pain again. She knew she had a choice at this moment, and she took the simpler road. She looked at herself again, studying her body, her face.

“Goodbye Kim…” She whispered, slowly sticking her thumb back in her mouth. She let go of her adult mind, and invited the childish Kimberly to take over again. It was as though two people sat there on the bed, discussing who would control the little body. She was mentally regressing now, she could feel it. She sucked deeply, and her breath became shallow and sharp. She became afraid. Little Kimberly was all mixed up about what was happening. The adult Kim felt a twinge of regret for giving up her power again, but it was too late to reverse the course, and she was soon a little seven-year-old girl, sitting on her bed, sucking her thumb, a bit confused. She shrugged and got dressed. She grabbed some coloring books and went to look for Amanda. After that day, Kim always had a funny feeling when she looked in the vanity mirror-a feeling that someone inside of her was watching. She secretly thought that it was her guardian angel, and sometimes she said hi to her.

Chelsea continued to bug Kim about her age, but she was a bit nicer about it. After all, it was obvious that her former mother was no longer a threat, and that she was the one “in charge.” Her dad had even let her babysit the two younger girls occasionally. Kim was further humiliated by having Chelsea look after her, but she wasn’t about to challenge her authority. Something inside of her had been defeated, and she knew her place now.

These days, the biggest challenge facing Kim was her bladder control. She was careless and lazy about getting to the bathroom. Initially, she made little “errors” and left damp spots in between her legs, where no one could see. The problem got worse though, and she was soon leaving noticeable patches of pee on her crotch. She took to wearing long shirts, so she could pull the front over her wet pants. Amanda and Chelsea tried to help Kim with her problem:

“You did it again, didn’t you?” Said Chelsea one day, as Kim returned from the washroom pulling her shirt down to cover herself. The three girls had been sitting on the floor doing a puzzle when Kim had suddenly tore off for the bathroom. Kim blushed.

“Only a little bit…” she said in defence of herself.

“Let’s see” Said Chelsea. Kim lifted up her shirt. This was no small accident, thought Chelsea. Her crotch was soaked, the inside of her thighs halfway to her knees was wet, and her bum was probably drenched too.

“Kimberly, you’ve totally peed yourself!” Said Chelsea. “If you keep this up, Dad’s gonna put you in diapers. He’s warned you many times now.” Kim looked down at her wet pants. It wasn’t that bad, was it?

“You hafta run right away, like I do!” Piped Amanda. Amanda never peed herself, and Kim felt stupid to have the five-year-old lecture her.

“You better go and get changed before dad sees you like that.” Said Chelsea, pointing to Kim’s room. She didn’t want to see Kim get put back in diapers… the poor kid had already been through so much. Kim ran up the stairs to get changed. She threw her wet jeans in the corner of her closet-she would have to deal with them later.

As the family gathered for supper, John pointed at Kim’s pants.

“I see you’ve changed your pants, Kim.” He said firmly. The three girls looked at each other nervously.

“I spilled some pop on her other ones, and she had to change them.” Said Chelsea quickly. John knew she was lying.

“Well Kimberly, why don’t you go get them so I can put them in the wash?” He said, crossing his arms. Kim was shaking from nervousness. She went upstairs, mentally scrambling for some way out of this. Maybe she could wash them really quickly in the bathroom sink… She went to her room and took out the jeans. They still looked really wet. She ran to the bathroom with them and tried to come up with a solution. She tried to dry them by padding them with toilet paper. She took out some perfume and dumped it on them to cover the smell. Partially satisfied, she took them downstairs and handed them to John.

“Kim, you can’t keep try to cover this up.” He said, wincing from the overbearing smell of urine and perfume. He took the jeans to the laundry room, pinching them between his finger and thumb, and holding them at arm’s length from his body.

“Well, I tried…” Said Chelsea, shrugging. Kim was struck with fear, and her heart was beating loudly as she heard John returning.

“I won’t do it again, I promise!” She said, tears in her eyes. John studied her for a moment.

“One last chance, Kimberly. From now on, you will show me your underwear each night, and if there is ANY trace of pee or poop in them, you’re back in diapers… got that?” Kim nodded. She was so relieved to have one more chance.

After supper, the kids sat around watching an evening cartoon while John worked in the study. Kim forgot all about her promise and once again underestimated her bladder. Enraptured in the show, she didn’t want to miss the good part at the end, and she tried to hold it as long as she could. When the credits started to roll, she realized that she was past desperate, and she got up to go to the bathroom. Standing up made her pee a bit. With every movement, every step towards the bathroom, she felt a small spurt. It got worse each time, until she was dashing up the last few stairs, gushing into her pants. She closed the bathroom door behind her, whipped down her pants, and sat on the toilet. A few leftover drops. Nothing more. She looked down in horror at the soaked pants, and the puddle of urine on the bathroom floor. She really blew it this time. Even worse, she now noticed the brown stains in her panties that had been accumulating throughout the day. It didn’t seem like a problem when she was wearing her pants, but now she could see that she had pooped a little more than was acceptable for someone her age. She realized she had one chance to escape John’s punishment. It was her bath time, so she acted like nothing had happened. She mopped up the puddle with her pants, and stuffed them into the cabinet under the sink, way in the back. She quickly ran the water for her bath, and jumped in. She carefully scrubbed her bum, hoping that she could get rid of the smell in time.

After her bath, she wrapped herself in a towel and headed for her room. John always came in to put her nighttime diapers on, since she was pathetic at taping them up herself. He was in her room already, laying out a diaper on the bed. She said nothing as she laid down. John rubbed some lotion on her, and then snugly fastened the diaper up.

“It’s pretty much bedtime, sweetie, ok?” Said John, sitting down beside her. “Teresa is coming over to look after you and Amanda tomorrow morning, because I have to take Chelsea to her skating lessons. Do you want me to read you a story?” Kim nodded, yawning. John started reading a Curious George book, but stopped halfway through, realizing that the little girl had passed out. He kissed her on the forehead, and left the room. Entering the bathroom, he opened up the cabinet, reached in, and pulled out the wet pants, taking them downstairs to the laundry.

Kim woke to the smell of blueberry pancakes. She loved Thursday mornings ever since Chelsea had started figure skating. Teresa always made a great breakfast, and took the two girls out to the big park downtown.

“Good morning Kim!” Said Teresa, coming in and sitting on the bed. Kim sat up.

“Hi!” She said brightly. She went to get up, but Teresa put her hand out, as though to stop her.

“Kim, there’s something I want to talk to you about before you get up, ok?” Kim stopped, listening.

“Kim, you made a deal with John yesterday, right? Do you remember?” Kim nodded, blushing and looking down.

“Oh sweetheart, don’t be ashamed. I had to wear diapers for two months when I was eight. It happens to kids every now and then.” She made it sound so natural and acceptable.

“He said I had one more chance, and I am going to take it real serious this time.” Said Kim with resolve.

“Yes, he did say that you had one more chance Kim, but then what happened later on that night?”

“What do you mean?” Answered Kim nervously.

“He found your pants in the bathroom, Kim.” Kim flushed with embarrassment. Teresa paused for a second to let the reality sink in. “What do you think that means?” She asked Kim, who was now looking at the wall.

“That I have to wear diapers during the day now…” she mumbled, wishing she was somebody else.

“Hey don’t be so glum, chum, wearing diapers ain’t so bad!” Teresa said, leaving the room for a second “You stay right there, I’ll be back” Teresa came back with a warm soapy washcloth and some baby powder. She pulled back the Kim’s covers. “You don’t have to do anything, I’ll take care of it.” She pulled down Kim’s PJ bottoms and undid her wet diaper. “You see, babies have it real lucky, because they get extra special care.” She was saying. Kim relaxed at her calm tone. She easily lifted Kim’s both legs with one hand and gently washed her bottom and privates with the warm washcloth. Kim was a bit embarrassed, but the washcloth felt so good and warm. It tickled a bit and she laughed uncontrollably.

“You see? It’s not so bad!” Said Teresa, tickling her little friend on the belly. She rubbed some powder into Kim’s soft skin, and put a fresh diaper underneath her bum. Taping it up tightly, she patted the front of it. “There we go, fresh and clean!”

Kim was amazed at how good it felt to be in a diaper. She had grown used to wearing them, but John had never made diapering quite as special as this. She couldn’t help but smile.

“Now, there are a few rules to this.” Said Teresa. “Once we put those on you, we can’t take them off, because the tapes will lose their stickiness. That means that you will have to use them for number 1’s AND number 2’s, and tell me when you need to be changed. John said you have to wear them for one month, and then you’ll get a chance to try regular underwear again, ok?” Kim nodded.

“Now, you get dressed, and I’ll meet you downstairs for pancakes.” Said Teresa, closing the bedroom door. Kim rubbed the front of her diapers, looking at herself in the vanity. She got up and rifled through her drawers for some clothes. Putting some pants and a T-shirt on, she looked in the mirror. It was obvious that she was wearing diapers. The youth diapers were too large for her, and the rectangular shape could be clearly seen on her bum. She couldn’t go out in public like this! She looked for some looser pants, but each pair she tried had the same effect. She gave up after three pairs and headed downstairs. She noticed on the stairs that the sound of plastic could still be heard through her pants, and the smell of baby powder traveled with her. She was fully blushing when she entered the kitchen.

Teresa, much to Kim’s relief, acted as though nothing had happened. Amanda was calmly stabbing at her pancakes, and Kim figured it was best to sit down and try not to think about the soft padding on her bum. Amanda looked up when her former mother sat down. The sound of plastic was obvious, and she could smell the baby powder. Her mouth dropped open as she looked at Kim. To a five-year-old, there are not a lot of things worse than being put back in diapers. Teresa rushed in with a plate of pancakes to break up the tense moment.

“Better eat these up before they get any colder… Amanda, do you want another one?” Amanda shook her head.

They piled into Teresa’s car and headed downtown. Kim peed herself on the way. She felt it coming on, and thought she would try to hold it until she got to a washroom. After a while, she realized that it didn’t matter. She looked out the window, pretending nothing was happening as she gushed into her diaper. Secretly, she smiled. She liked the freedom the diapers gave her. No more rushing to the bathroom, or trying to hide her accidents. Furthermore, it was a nice warm feeling in her crotch. She shuddered a bit as she finished.

They had a ball at the park, as usual. Teresa was full of life and energy, and chased the kids around as they screamed and squealed. They had peanut butter sandwiches and pop for lunch, and then they walked around, feeding the birds in the pond. It wasn’t long after lunch that Kim felt the need to poo. She looked at the washroom.

“Teresa?” She started. “I have to… uh… go…” Teresa stopped, and knelt down to talk to her.

“Kim, it’s ok… you do it in your diapers, and I’ll take care of it.” She whispered. “You just let me know.” Kim started crying.

“I don’t want to!” She said.

“Kim, we have to listen to what John said. I know it seems unfair, but you made a deal, and you have to keep it.” Kim looked down in dismay. She had to go real bad now, and she had already let a bit out. Teresa spotted Amanda getting a little to close to the pond’s edge, and went off to catch her. “Amanda!” she called. Kim stood there and let it happen. Once she let go, she couldn’t stop it, and the poop rushed out, filling her diaper. A mixed feeling of relief and embarrassment rushed over her. She half waddled over to Teresa and Amanda.

“Teresa…” She said, looking a little disgusted with herself. Teresa once again made it seem like nothing. She took her to a private area behind some bushes and changed her little friend’s diaper.

The next two weeks flew by, and the first day of school came without mercy. Kim abhorred the idea of going to into grade 2. She stood at the front of the class as the teacher introduced her. There were snickers and curious looks gazing over her. She panicked inwardly… what if they could tell she was wearing diapers? She wanted to flee… run home and curl up in John’s arms. “Hi Kimberly!” The kids all said in unison, at the prompting of Mrs. Kurtis. The teacher guided her to a nearby desk, and continued with the lessons. Kim found that the material was really easy, and she put her hand up proudly to answer some questions. She heard some boys at the back chuckle as she answered correctly. The teacher was immediately taken by this beautiful and apparently brilliant little girl. Somewhere deep inside of her, Kim knew that she was being a little too teacher-friendly, but she couldn’t help it… she knew the answers before anyone else.

After school, she met the class jerk, Bobby.

“Hey teacher’s pet, whatcha doin?” He yelled at her on the playground, loud enough that everyone could hear him. The other kids stopped playing and gathered around to see what was going to happen. Kim looked around, afraid. Bobby was much bigger than her. Bobby walked right up and shoved her hard, and she fell on her butt. She started crying. Why was he being so mean? He kicked some dirt in her face, and walked away, laughing. The dirt stung her eyes and she started bawling from the pain. A strange feeling came over her, and she panicked as she felt her body’s urge to shrink. She couldn’t shrink now… not here! Nevertheless, it was growing, and building inside her, begging for release. No! She had to stay big! She scrunched her face up and fought for all she was worth.

It wasn’t working. The waves of youth traveled up her spine, making her quake and grunt. The kids watched, a little worried for her.

“What’s happening to her?” One girl asked.

“Is she sick?”

“She looks different!”

Kim tried to hide her face as she felt it get smaller and more babyish. Her bum felt like it was tightening, as her clothes got looser. She knew she was a six-year old now, and she broke into tears. She couldn’t bear to be seen like this, and she got up to run away. Unfortunately, her loose pants fell down, and the kids erupted in laughter as they spotted the diapers.

“Mwahahaha! She wears diapers!” Shouted Bobby. Kim felt the regression sequence escalate with her embarrassment as she scrambled to pull her pants up. Bobby kicked her in the butt, sending her sprawling on all fours, where she continued to shrink. She was getting confused now. She wanted her daddy. She fartly loudly and started pooping in he diaper uncontrollably as she went down, down, down into toddlerhood. She didn’t want to be a baby! She gripped the sand with her hands as she got sucked back to the age of five against her will. Her tummy started to get all chubby and round, and her legs got weaker as she dwindled. She was squeezing her knees together in the sand and pushing her palms forward, away from her in sheer resistance. Her two front teeth sucked upward into her upper gums, and she dangled her mouth open as she rubbed her tongue over the place where her teeth used to be. New, smaller teeth were starting to appear and grow in place of the adult teeth. She sucked on her bottom lip.

“She’s shrinking!” Somebody said in a shocked voice. “Look at her, she looks like a kindergartener!” Everybody was staring in shock at the little girl who was a 7 year old just a second ago. She tried to stand up to run away, but her diaper fell down around her ankles, tripping her and exposing her messy buttocks. She rolled over on her back and covered her face with her hands, ashamed and hurt. Her back arched and bucked as she continued her journey backward, each spasm stealing a month of her age from her. Her legs shortened and kicked uncontrollably as she reached the verge of being a four year old. She tried to make it stop, but she couldn’t, and she broke into hysterics as she entered her forth year. She kicked the ground and pounded it with her fists as the shrinking started to slow down, screaming bloody murder at the thought of being four again.

“NOOO!!” She screamed. Throwing a tantrum in the middle of the playground. Somebody picked her up as she thrashed around, oblivious to her situation. She passed out from distress.

She woke up to the sound of crinkling plastic and the smell of baby powder. She was in a crib! Her 30 year-old mind was back, but it was obvious that her 30-year old body was not. What an odd feeling, she thought. Her body was fat and out of control. She tried moving her legs but found that even a subtle extension turned into a kicking motion. Her hands and arms were the same-her body exaggerated every movement. She looked through the white crib bars at her room. Her former bed was leaned up against the wall, but most of the toys and clothes had not been changed. John must have gotten Amanda’s old crib from the basement. She lay there for a while, shocked at the new sensations. She could feel everything with more detail. The soft blanket, the wet diaper, the cold crib bars… everything seemed more real. Her eyes were full of gunk, and she imagined that she must have cried herself to sleep. She rubbed them, trying not to poke herself in the eye.

“John?” She called out. Her voice was tiny and squeaky, and it was hard to form the simple word. She sat up.

“Jooohhn.” She called. She heard footsteps on the stairs. Chelsea entered the room, looking at her. Seeing that she was awake, she yelled down the stairs.

“Dad? She’s awake!” She came in and lowered the bars of the crib. “Boy, you’re all little now Kim!” She said, as though she were talking to a baby.

“Yeth sweetie, I am wittle now” She said, pouting a little.

“Mom?” Said Chelsea, recognizing the maturity in Kim’s voice. John entered the room.

“Kim… are you…?” Kim smiled at him.

“Wew, you are a bit bigger than I wemember, cowboy!” She said. John laughed, picking her up.

“Oh that’s ok, at least now I won’t step on your toes when we dance!” He said, dancing around the room with her. She giggled.

“Well, just don’t drop me, ok?”

 

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