Wishes wished, then wished to have that wish unwished. But the wish, has been wished, and can't be unwished. I wish I hadn't typed all that. Forced female mental regression, wishes (yep) diapers. Not a fair ending. Swearing
Chapter Description: It's a long _rifle story. You should have this figured out by now.
Tarts By: Long_Rifle
Well, this is something... Trying to just get something on paper. In this case just something to read and enjoy, but nothing epic. I want to get it done and posted in a day or so. Of course this will contain mental regression. And I’ll assume a non typical ending. But I really don’t have any idea.
---Five days, from start to finish edit. I hope you all enjoy this. And remember that the world needs more female forced mental regression stories. MORE. Now on with the show:
"Not Again... Fuck!" Angie screamed as she opened one of the stalls in the restroom she was assigned to clean during her shift. She threw her hands up and almost screamed. "Piss! On seat! Can’t they at least wipe up after themselves?" She grabbed a roll of paper towels off her cart and started towards the toilet and the wet seat. "I swear, the women’s room is more disgusting then the fucking guys room." She reached up with the towels in her hand and tried to stay as far away from it as possible. She started to wipe the mess towards the open bowl off the seat. She could feel the cool liquid touching her hands through the gloves. Angie shuddered as she tried not to think about it. "Fucking pigs..." She said through clenched teeth.
"What fucking pigs are you talking about Angie?" The voice of her boss said behind her.
Angie let out an "Eep!" as she spun around to face her. "Sorry. It’s just I get so tired of cleaning up after these animals. It’s like they have no personal responsibility. Like they were taught that they are owed everything. I hate cleaning up their piss. They’re probably the same idiots that burn their own cities down during riots."
Her boss tisked, "Well, I don’t care if you like it or not, but at least try to keep your opinions about it quiet. I could hear your complaining out in the hall. And that means the guests could as well."
"Well maybe they’ll think about cleaning up the next time they hover then? Like a civilized human being would." Angie mumbled.
Her boss frowned, "Or maybe I can find another person to take your place that won’t whine about this all the time?"
Angie stared at the floor, "I understand. I’ll be quieter from now on." She tossed the used towels in the cart, and grabbed her sprayer. She turned back towards the toilet and started to spray wildly around the inside of the stall. Trying to soak and sterilize every surface, hoping the chemical smell would get her boss to leave faster. She stayed quiet as she set down the sprayer and started to wipe everything down. At first she still felt her boss’s presence behind her, and she started to worry that maybe she had pushed her to far. But as she finished drying the unit, and started refilling the toilet paper she felt her leave and breathed a sigh of relief. "That’s all I need, to get fired. Kim would love that." Angie stepped out of the now gleaming stall and towards the sinks. She started working on the few soap stains under the dispensers when a woman walked in, threw a glance towards Angie and stepped into the stall.
Angie watched, mouth agape when she didn’t even bother the close the door behind her. Her anger rose as she watched the fat cow pull her pants free, then hover over the seat. As she relieved herself Angie was sure most of the mess hit the seat and poured onto the floor around the bowl. The woman grinned as she pulled her pants up without wiping and left the bathroom without even flushing or washing her hands.
Angie was left standing next to the sink seething. "Mother fucker..." Was all she could get out. She stepped towards the toilet and peered into something that even an animal wouldn’t have left behind. "I wish this shit would end!" she snarled as she pulled her paper towels out again. The still warm liquid made her gag as she started cleaning the seat again. This time something felt off about it, she lifted her hands up to her face, and saw that her right glove had been ripped. She dropped everything and rushed to the sink. Retching and dry heaving as she started the water and let it run as hot as she could stand over her hands. She felt like crying.
"Horrible little asses aren’t they?" A voice oozed from her left. Angie looked up to see a woman dressed like she was a CEO. The lady looked into the stall and shook her head. "I bet you wish you could do something about that huh?" Angie absently nodded as she started to dry heave again. The woman turned away from her, "Well, let me give you a hand there."
The room was bathed in a brilliant light, Angie tried to cover her eyes from the blinding flash. But the light and pain were gone almost as soon as it had happened. She opened her eyes to see that the entire room was now completely clean. Even her hands that had been wet were now dry. She could see the white grout on the floor gleaming as if it was new. Angie looked up and stared at the strange woman, wondering what the hell was going on.
The woman dusted her hands together, as if she had just finished doing something, "Now let’s get on with this. I remember hearing something about a wish. And I happen to think you deserve one after seeing what that bitch did."
Angie started to step away from her. Fear made the hair on her arms stand up as she wondered what she was really on about. "Look lady... I don’t know what’s going on here but I think you need to leave."
"Look," the smartly dressed woman said as moved her right hand, causing the door to close before Angie could escape. "Everything is cool. I’m here to help you. To give you something. I was passing through when I overheard what you wanted and I think it’s a great idea."
"What was a great idea?" Angie asked still concerned.
"Okay listen, did you say, and I quote: I wish this shit would end!" Angie nodded silently as she listened to what she had just said, wondering exactly where this was going. "Fine. Now I just need to clarify a few things and I’ll get right on that. Do you want everyone on the earth to die? Maybe everyone that walks into the mall to disappear? Exactly what do you want to happen Angie?"
"Whoa! Hold on!" She said loudly. "I don’t want people to die or anything. I just want people to stop pissing all over the place in here."
The mystery woman floated off the floor, and sat on her legs in mid air. Clearly and quickly clarifying exactly what was being offered to the stunned Angie. "You’re not exactly giving me a lot to go on here. I need specifics."
Angie tried to think straight as her shock was slowly replaced with more fear. "What?" She said again.
The woman floated closer to her, trying and succeeding in looking powerful. Her face took on the look of a stone cold killer as she slowly reached out towards Angie and pinched one of her nipples, "Purple nurple!" She yelled.
"Ow! What the hell was that about!" Angie asked as her hand shot up to protect her chest.
The woman smiled and rolled her eyes. "Look, I don’t have all day young lady. It’s time you just relax and get to wishing. Stop thinking like I want to world to end or something. I need to get this over and done with quickly, now how do you propose we stop people from coming in here and pissing all over the place."
Angie massaged her sore nipple as she spoke, "I don’t know. Make sure anyone about the piss on the seats just goes home."
"And no one will notice this? No one will figure out something is wrong and won’t go to the cops, or the news. Come one. At least think it through girl."
Anger washed over Angie, "Fine make it so whatever happens.... That everyone else just thinks it’s normal."
The floating woman’s form faded, then clarified. "Granted. Everyone that abuses this room will never use one again. And everyone else will think it’s completely fine, but you‘ll get to know the truth. I hope you enjoy your much cleaner facilities Angie." She unfolded her feet to the ground, then stepped to a mirror. After a few seconds of grooming her hair she stepped towards the door and left with a wave.
Over the next several days Angie almost forgot about her. But every day when she came to work the bathroom was clean. Sure the floor might need mopping, or the sink a wipe down. But the seats stayed dry and clean. After a week she started to keep an eye on the bathroom as she tried to figure out what was really going on. It was a Friday, and she had just sat down to lunch when a thirty-ish looking woman walked inside. Angie kept her eyes on the door, and didn’t look away for 15 minutes. But the woman never left. Angie finally started to walk towards the door herself. "I bet she’s just taking a shit." She said as she got closer.
The door opened silently, "Excuse me? Miss... There was... I mean a person thought there might be a problem in here and I was sent in to see...." She was close enough to touch the door to the stall now. It swung open as she finished, " ...if you’re okay." She was looking at nothing but an empty and sparkling stall. She stared down at the empty seat, trying to figure out what had happened to it’s occupant. "This is impossible." She said as she turned back towards the door, only to be pushed out of the way by what looked like a bridesmaid.
"Sorry, I’ve got to go! Seriously!" The woman apologized as she went for the toilet. She was already hiking her dress up before she slammed the stall door closed.
"Why am I always getting pushed around in here?" Was Angie’s first thought. But then she remembered the first woman. "Wait!" Angie said concerned. "Don’t use that. it’s broke!"
"I’m really sorry miss. But I can’t hold it any longer. I need to go!"
"NO! You need to get OUT!" She screamed as she pulled the door on the stall as hard as she could. It swung up to reveal the person within, holding her short blue dress up. An instant passed and without a sound she popped out of existence. Angie stood shell shocked at the still gleaming bowl. "What have I done?" she cried. Then she remembered the entire wish. And the part about it’s victims just going back home, her heart rate went back down, and relief flooded her. "I guess she went home then... It could be worse, so that’s okay... No more pissy seats I guess." She reasoned to herself.
Hours later she was walking home, and talking to her friend over the phone, wondering if she should tell her what was going on. "Look I’ve got something weird to tell you. I know it will sound crazy. But I’m coming over and I need you to at least listen okay Kim?"
"Sure. You know you can talk to me about anything."
"I know, but this is just really odd shit. I’m on the way right now. Give me a few."
Angie thought she was going to make it to Kim’s in record time, it seemed like every light was timed perfectly for her to walk right across. But she was stopped by the last intersection before her street. She was waiting to cross when she looked towards a park off to her left. She could see there were a few kids playing there. And a few adults watching. One of them was splashing in some water, and seemed to be having as much fun as the children. Angie heard the tone to cross from the intersection, but she couldn’t pull her eyes away from the figure in the park. Something didn’t seem right to her. Finally she decided to walk closer. As she did, Angie noticed the woman was obviously special. She was screaming and waddling around. Trying to keep up with a few elementary aged kids. As she got closer Angie could see the bulge of a diaper around her waist. Angie stopped as she got up to the fence that closed in the park. She kept staring at the woman, and taking peeks at the people watching the whole lot.
She was still staring back and forth when another obviously special girl walked out of a giant play scape and into view. Another adult was following close behind her prodding her along. "Must be a convention or something..." Angie thought to herself as she started to walk away. She was still thinking of what she had seen when she got to Kim’s house and tryed to explain everything to her.
"Look Angie. Magic isn’t real. Maybe someone slipped you something."
She kept pacing the floor. "But it’s been days! How the hell did it stay so clean? And the woman just vanished. Something has to be happening. And what would change in the world that would let people think others just appearing at home would be normal."
Kim looked unconvinced. "Maybe it’s just your boss. After hearing what she said, maybe she’d pulling something on you. I mean people don’t just disappear. That’s impossible. And if it happened there’s no way people would ever think it was normal. Just no way."
"But... I mean... Everything has been normal. I don’t feel drugged. And my boss has been a bitch just like normal. Why would she do it?"
Kim stood up and wrapped an arm around her, "Look. Let’s go. Maybe get some air. You say this only happens when you’re there. I bet the room is getting locked up after you leave or something." Angie looked at her confused. So Kim cleared her throat, "I’m saying let’s go to the mall, and let’s see if the bathroom is still open and fresh. How’s that? Let’s prove something is really happening, THEN try to figure it out okay?"
Angie didn’t feel like going back to work after just leaving. "I think I just want to stay here Kim. I don’t feel like going back there. Honestly it freaks me out to think about it. That’s why I came here to talk to you."
But Kim couldn’t be stopped. She grabbed her shoes, and slipped her ID into her pocket. Then walked to the door. "Well, are you coming? I’ve got a midterm next week, and this might be the last free time till after that Angie."
Angie walked to her side. "Fine. But I don’t want to stay out to long. I just have a lot to think about. Like what the hell is going on."
They started off towards the mall, coming up quickly to the park with the oddly diapered women. Angie pointed them out. "Does that seem off to you?" She asked her friend.
Kim looked the entire park over. "Does what seem off? They seem to be watching them fairly closely."
Angie’s mouth dropped open. "The special ones! Don’t they seem odd?"
Kim stared, "Odd how? They look normal to me. Do you want them to be naked all the time? I mean sure, they may be cute. But they need to wear something outside other then just giant pampers after they make the choice right? I think it would seem odd to be seeing them still dressing like adults in their condition don’t you?"
"Normal..." Angie repeated as they walked away. Something tugged at her memory. Something that she knew was important but she couldn’t place it. And she wondered what choice her friend was talking about, but decided to drop it till she was back at her house. "An interesting choice it must be." She said.
Kim took her question another way however, "Yep. It’s almost as bad as a tattoo, just more permanent. That’s why I don’t even look at the books my mom gets for me. I don’t want any part of that crowd."
The odd answer made Angie feel even more confused, but she kept her mouth shut the rest of the way to her work. Even Kim seemed quieter then normal before falling back into talk about school and degrees. She was halfway into describing one of her lectures when they finally hit the mall lot. They were careful to watch for cars as they crossed the parking area, then slipped into the mall. The bathroom in question was just inside. Angie pointed towards it, "That’s it there, the men’s room is on the other side. We can sit over by the food court and keep an eye on it."
But Kim started walking towards it instead, "I didn’t come here to watch it. I came to see what the deal is. Are you coming or what?"
Angie felt herself grow more nervous then before, "Kim, I don’t think we should go in there. I don’t want anything else to happen."
Kim stopped just outside the door, "It doesn’t matter, I bet it’s locked. Just like I said." She grabbed the door, and yanked as hard as she could. The door opened easily, and she almost lost her balance as she hadn’t expected it to move. "Whoa! I guess I was wrong. Maybe they just give it a great cleaning before you get back for your shift then..."
Angie stared at her with skepticism, looking back over her shoulder to the food court. "I don’t think so. Let’s just go watch. We don’t need to be in here." But when her friend walked inside she followed her. She watched as Kim took in the entire bathroom. And she started to fidget the longer Kim stood motionless looking around, "Okay, it still looks spotless. Let’s go." She grabbed her friends arm and pulled her softly towards the exit.
Kim pushed her away, "Hold on. I want to at least see the magic toilet."
"No buts girl. Let me see this thing." She walked towards the stall, the door was already half open. "Well, you’re right. It is the cleanest I’ve ever seen it. But what could be evil about that?"
Angie cringed, "It’s when they use it."
Kim grabbed her shorts and pulled them down. Surprising Angie with how fast it happened. Before she could react her friend was sitting on the seat. "Well, it’s cold. But that’s about it." The room filled with the sound of pee hitting water. "I’m still here." Kim gloated.
Before she could stop herself, Angie reminded her what she had said earlier. "It’s when they hover and intend to piss like that." Her hands shot up to her mouth even as the words came out. "Don’t..." Was all she could get out before Kim stopped the flow and stood up. Angie grabbed for her, but just as she got close enough, her hand closed on air as she vanished. Angie blinked twice, then dropped to her knees. "Nooooo......" She whined as she started to break down. "Kim... I told you not to! I said we should watch! Why didn’t you listen dammit!" She knelt there sobbing for what seemed like hours, before she managed to drag herself onto her feet and walk back out into the mall.
She wondered what she could do. The words of what she assumed to be some kind of modern real genie rang in her ears. She grabbed her phone and went to call Kim. "She should just be home." She said to herself. But when she tried to find her number there was no entry. "What the hell..." She murmured. In it’s place was a number with her friends same last name. But what Angie thought might be Kim’s mother. She was speed walking towards her friend’s house as she called. "Pick up.... Pick up..." She murmured. She was getting frantic when her heard the line pick up. She heard the voice of Kim’s mother answer.
"Angie? Why are you calling here? Is something wrong?"
Angie swallowed, "No... Just wondering if Kim’s home."
"Of course, been here all day. She’s in the tub right now. Why don’t you call back?"
Angie felt the hope rise in her heart, "Are you sure?"
"Of course, I can hear her in there. I wish I couldn’t sometimes..."
Angie blushed as she thought that over, and what it meant. "Okay. No, really... Thanks, you have no idea what that means to me. I’ll call back later then."
She hung up and turned towards her own house. She had rented it in the same month Kim had moved back with her family to save money for more beer at school. But she kept thinking about the wording of her wish. "Why the hell would they never use it again and think it’s normal?" She couldn’t understand how her wording could have been warped into something normal. Angie wondered how reality could be so badly affected and not have it cause issues everywhere.
Angie was still two blocks from home when she saw a couple walking together in front of her. As she got closer she could tell it was two women. She didn’t think anything of it. She smiled as she watched them interact. They seemed so close. She was about to pass them when the shorter of the two stopped walking suddenly, bent her knees out and giggled loudly. At first she didn’t understand what was happening. But she was soon filled in.
The other woman shook her head, "June... Now? We’re almost home. Couldn’t you have waited?" The other girl just giggled and cooed back at her, then grunted. If Angie hadn’t already guessed what was happening, the loud noise coming from the girls back side would have told her. "I guess we better start back now huh?" The woman said to her. She noticed Angie staring. "Sorry about the smell. You know how it is with them. In and out huh...."
But Angie wasn’t really paying attention, she was looking closely at the diapered girl’s face, scrunching up as she pushed. "I think I know her." She said. The girl took a deep breath to push again. And that’s when she got it. "The bridesmaid! She’s the bridesmaid! I saw her earlier today!"
The woman that had been walking with her laughed. "A bridesmaid? Maybe the ring bearer. But I don’t think she’ll ever have to worry about buying dresses when her buddies get hitched. Maybe a new fancy sun dress every spring, but momma will take care of that won’t she sweetie?" At that she tickled the girl under her chin. "Yes she will! Who’s my cutie!"
The girl stood up and babbled back. The smell from her diaper finally hit Angie’s nose, making her step back. "How.... How long has she been like.... like this?"
The woman looked confused, "Poopy?" Then she seemed to understand, "Oh. About a year since. I’ll never have a grandchild now, but that doesn’t really matter after this does it?"
"But she’s just... You mean she’ll never grow up?" Angie said looking shocked.
The woman pulled her daughter closer, "Is this some kind of joke? Are you one of those people that hate juvies?"
"Oh... No. I was just talking out loud. Sorry." She moved off the walkway and let the two pass her. She stayed in place and watched as the pair walked and waddled away. The full diaper much more obvious now, hanging between the girls legs. Angie started walking again, slower this time as she tried to figure everything out. Then it hit her.
She turned, and started going back to Kim’s house at a run. Her pace quickened as she continued. Her legs burning as she tried to move faster. She passed the park again and saw more kids, and a few to big to be real children. One woman probably in college, was busy sucking on a bottle and laying back in a stroller. Her mother hanging over her keeping an eye on her. "No..... No...." Angie murmured as she picked up her pace. "Not Kim. Not my Kimmie."
As the house came into view her steps slowed again, down to a slow walk. She wanted to know what was happening, but she didn’t really want to see what she expected to. She reached out for the knob, but the door opened before she could even grab it. She looked up into the smiling face of Kim’s mother. "Hey." Was all she could say.
"I figured you’d be coming. I know that tone of voice. You sounded really shook up. Is there something going on?"
Angie didn’t know what to say, "No... Is she still in the tub?"
"Yeah, you know how she likes to stay in there an hour or more. Till her little butt is all wrinkled."
Angie’s heart fell. She pushed into the house and into the hallway outside the bathroom. She could see inside, she watched Kim sitting in the tub and happily splashing water all over. She was still standing there, tears running down her face when Kim’s mother walked up behind her.
"I wonder if she’ll ever get tired of splashing all over like that. But I don’t mind. So many mothers lose their babies when they grow up. I’ll never have to worry about that, who cares if it comes with big diapers, and some wet floors. She’s such a cutie. Since you’re here do you want to go get the clothes I set out for her on the crib?"
Angie wiped her eyes, "Sure. Why not?"
"And grab her another diaper. One of the thick ones for night time."
Angie walked towards Kim’s room. As she turned on the lights she cringed under pink walls, and light pastels. She actually smiled thinking about her best friend living in such a world. She walked towards the yellow crib and the small mound of neatly folded clothes sitting on it. She carefully picked them up and started looking for the diapers. She found them easily enough, being stacked under an over sized changing table. She grabbed one from a pile of thicker diapers and started out towards the living room.
Kim was already out of the bath, and having her hair dried thoroughly by her mother when she came in. She was watching some kiddie show, that had been muted. But the lack of sound didn’t seem to bother her, all she needed were bright colours now. Angie dropped the clothes at her feet, and then the diaper itself. She tried not to cry as she watched what had been her normal mature friend just hours ago struggle and squirm while her hair was combed out and put into two bows.
Kim’s mother talked as she pushed her adult daughter down on a mat and started getting the diaper ready to tape on. "I swear, she acts more her age every day! I don’t know what’s getting into her, why she‘s slowly changing when it should have been over a long time ago."
Angie’s eye’s popped open, "You mean she’s growing up again!"
The older woman stopped unfolding the diaper and looked at her, "What? No. You know that’s not going to happen. I mean she’s acting more like a younger baby everyday." She moved the diaper down towards Kim’s bottom, and without a word Kim raised it, and allowed it to be slid into place.
Watching Kim act like a baby really hurt Angie, she started to tear up again. "Why Kimmie. Why...." She murmured softly.
Kim’s mother had picked up a container of baby powder, she stopped when she heard Angie. "I don’t know either Angie. It was odd to have it happen. She brought it up once. And the next thing I knew I was getting the shots or something, and then I didn’t really care anymore." A dusting of powder and she started to pull the diaper closed. "Honestly I never believed she would do it. All the boys, and the wild nights with you. I figured you would both have done it." A small tear patted the diaper from her eyes. "I think she was waiting you know, maybe still waiting..."
Angie wiped her eyes, and rubbed at her nose, the sight of Kim’s mother crying had made her finally lose it again. "What?"
The diaper was closed and Kim was now sitting up, sucking on the fingers of her right hand, and patting her mother’s nose. "Even after it was done she wasn’t really gone. Sure she was just a baby in action. But she seemed moody all the time. To mature acting I guess. It’s hard to explain. I guess it’s like she didn’t enjoy it. But I was told that it’s impossible. Something to do with their brains being reset, and then losing their ability to retain new information. It’s like a record. She plays it in her mind, and even thought she reacts it’s all gone the next day again. "
Angie looked at her friend, watching as she started to pick her own nose and pull at the carpet, drool coating her chin. Hearing that she had wanted what had been done to her made her feel even worse. "She doesn’t seem moody to me." She remembered all the good times they had had. Angie couldn’t think of Kim as being moody. "Always smiling, all the time." Angie even reached out and stroked Kim’s head. The reduced girl cooed, and fell over onto her back so she could grab at Angie’s feet.
"No. Never around you. You always bring the best out of her. It’s like she remembers. But that’s not possible. She’s just a little toe muncher now. Aren’t you sweetie?" She finished, while tickling Kim’s feet.
Kim laughed loudly, while kicking her feet weakly. Her voice nothing but garbled nonsense as she squirmed on the floor. Her mother stopped tickling her, giving Kim a few seconds to catch her breath. As she did she looked at Angie and started to wildly babble, a huge silly grin spread across her face. Then she started to slap at her diaper.
Her mother noticed it right away. "Another diaper for the pail Kim?" She gave the diaper a pinch. "Yeah, we better get that diaper off before your nap baby." She gently helped Kim to her feet. Angie watched un-moving from her chair as they both left the room. Leaving nothing but the faint smell of urine hanging in the air in their wake.
Angie hid her face in her hands as she started to cry. "This isn’t right! This is horrible!" she moaned as she punched at the couch. "Why... Why!" She screamed into her hands as her wish ran over and over in her head. "I’ve got to fix this... I’ve got to fix it." She looked up to grab a tissue for her nose when she saw a commercial for diapers on the tube, she saw an obviously teenaged girl crawling across the floor in a short shirt and a large white disposable diaper. Angie lunged for the remote, but as she got the sound on, the commercial ended. She almost tossed the remote back when she remembered she could rewind it. She tapped the remote and the video jumped back, after several pushes she stopped and waited for the commercial to start.
"We all know they can be a handful." A cheerful voice said as a smiling diapered woman crawled across a floor towards outstretched arms. She sat down on her padded bottom and wagged her arms wildly about. "But they can be a handful, and when that happens make sure her diaper can handle it." Angie watched as the arms gently pulled the woman up, leaving a dark wet patch under her. "Use new Hugs Converts!" A graphic of a large diaper appeared and arrows pointed at various features. "Specially designed with juvies in mind. A special area that rapidly sucks dampness away. With padding placed to create absorption zones to hold wetness till it can be locked away. Special double wide hook and loop tapes that can be moved, and readjusted if needed." The camera went back to the overgrown baby. Now diapered in a fresh Hugs, and waddling around with the help of a more mature adult. "New Hugs! With extra thick plastic shell! You can tell it’s a Hugs from a mile away!" The scene ended with a shot of the woman’s vacant smiling face.
"It’s odd isn’t it?" Kim’s mother said. Surprising Angie. "One day they’re all adult. And the next they’re shitting their pants. I don’t know what to think sometimes. It’s like an instant reality change or something."
For Angie the light came on as she listened, "A reality change! That’s what could do it. In this reality girls can do this and everyone thinks it’s normal." She thought. "This is horrible! Why the hell would that lady do this to me... To the whole world?" She looked at the woman in front of her, just as she sat down roughly next to her, Kim’s used diaper still in her hand.
She sounded tired as she spoke, "I miss her. I miss the conversations, then whatever they did kicks in and I love her the way she is. And I don’t think about before. Till you call or come over." She looked down at the diaper in her hand and started to absently smile; then hurriedly dropped it to the floor. She looked at Angie, eyes wet, "I think it’s the baby stuff, and the commercials. It does something to me. I get foggy." She was openly crying now. "I love Kim. But I want to love her on my terms. I don’t want to be changed! I don’t want to be something that I’m programmed to be."
Angie felt her own fear fade as she listened to the crying mother, "Why is this allowed to happen? Isn’t there something you can do? Other mothers have to have the same thoughts. Right?"
"No! You don’t understand. No one else ever thinks like this. I don’t know why it didn’t take with me." Something changed in her, she clutched Angie’s leg. "Oh my god! It’s you! It has to be."
Angie sat up straight, shocked that someone else knew about her wish, "Me?"
"Yes!" She almost screamed as she put everything together. "I feel clearer whenever you are here watching her. Whenever you call or come by. It’s got to be you. I must have seen you two together so often that it did something to my mind. Something their drugs can’t change. Don’t you see it?"
Angie felt relief and pain at what she was hearing. "Another life I ruined, and it’s even worse then what I did to Kim. She doesn’t deserve this. No one does." She thought to herself. She kept thinking to the life Kim had been reduced to. At the same instant she smelled pee again. She looked down at the wet diaper still at their feet, then back at Kim’s mother, who had noticed her looking at it. "I’ll take care of that for you." She said as she reached down to get it. Then while using her body as a shield she picked it up and tucked it into her chest and made a rapid beeline to the Kitchen. "I’ll be right back..." She said over her shoulder.
She walked right to the trash can, the rolled up diaper in her hands. She stepped on the lid peddle, swinging the lid to full open. She held out the bundle in her right hand, ready to let it roll onto the mound already inside. But something stopped her. She pulled back and not thinking about it set the bundle on the counter next to the sink. She checked behind her shoulder to make sure she was alone. Then carefully pulled the velcro tapes off. The diaper unfolded easily, the smell of urine surged around her as it opened. "It’s still warm..." She whispered as she touched the outer cover. Powder puffed and rose from the inside as she opened it further. It’s sweet smell mingling with the wetness. Finally the diaper was fully open and she could clearly see where the powder had been washed away by Kim. She blushed as she ran a finger over it. "I did this. This is my fault." She thought. Her heart started to beat rapidly as she kept looking at the giant plastic prison in front of her. One she had put her best friend into. "She doesn’t deserve this. No one does." She checked behind her one more time and made her decision. Her flip flops came right off, followed by her shorts and panties. The diaper slid off the counter and into her hands easily. Angie carefully laid it out on the floor. Then sat down in the middle of it. When she leaned back the warmth of the floor made her feel she had made the right choice. Her heart seemed to hum as she pulled the diaper up and over herself. At first she fumbled with the velcro tabs, then as if it was made for her everything seemed to come together and it was on.
Angie stood up. "It’s so thick." She said quietly. Her legs bowed from the padding. she poked at it with one of her fingers. Her skin burned red as she finished what she had started and pulled her shirt off over her head. She didn’t have large breasts, and now she was glad she didn’t have to wear anything more then a sports bra. She almost left it on, but as she started walking towards the living room she tore it off. In a final statement she grabbed all her clothes and tossed them out the door. Letting it slam closed as she finished.
Kim’s mother was starting to wonder what had happened. She had enjoyed finally opening up to Angie. Saying what she had been thinking for so long. She smiled thinking that she wasn’t the only one that missed Kim. Happy that somehow the programmers had missed something. Then she had heard the door open and slam. She felt desperation as she assumed that her last hope had fled. Pain roared as she thought she was about the lose the last shred of what her daughter was. She popped up from her chair and ran for the kitchen. Hoping she could catch Angie. Praying silently that she could talk her into staying. Into not abandoning her and Kim. She spun around the corner, expecting to see an empty room. Instead she saw Angie, head down, beet red, sucking her thumb and wearing nothing but Kim’s used diaper. Shock held her still for several seconds. She took a careful step towards her then, hoping it was really her, still standing there. She held her hands over her mouth, taking everything in. "Angie..." she whispered. Angie, looking all the world like a slightly older version of Kim, took her hand off her chest and let it hang at her side, she still kept her face to the floor. She stepped closer to her, "Angie?" She asked again. Louder. She outstretched her hand towards her shoulder softly touching it
Angie moved away from the touch, turning away from her. Talking several tottering steps to complete it while filling the air with the crinkling of plastic. She touch a deep breath and flexed her knees. "I... I’m so sowwy..." She slurred around her thumb.
"You have nothing to be sorry about... Kim loved you before, she loves you now. It’s just different. It’s not your fault. It’s what she wanted. You know that."
Angie stiffened at the mention of love. Her thumb popped out of her mouth, "Kim. I... I... I don’t know..." Thoughts raced through her mind as she stood naked and shamed. She knew she deserved worse. Deep down she felt something else. Something she didn’t want to accept. "I don’t know what to do.." She said, still looking down at her feet, flat on the floor. Noticing for the first time that her toes where pointing inwards.
"You don’t have to worry." Kim’s mother started. "There’s plenty for us to do. We can take care of her together. You can stay here. Maybe I’ll finally beat what they did. With you here I can feel better. I can be myself. You can too, you don’t have to call anymore. Trying to be a part of her life. You can finally see her everyday. Whenever you want."
Angie felt torn by the offer, to help her friend. But as much as she heard what was being said she also knew what it would really mean. "I’d be reminded of what I did everyday."
Kim’s mother was crying, "But you didn’t do anything! Really!"
Angie whined. "But I did. You don’t understand. You never would. She didn’t either. And I let her do it. I should have stopped her. And now...."
"Now what? I need you! We need you. Please..."
Angie knew she was right. It was the honest thing to do. To take responsibility for what she had done and help them. But deep down something else stirred. Something she had tried to ignore. She let it come up closer, letting it take her bit by bit. Allowed herself to sink into her base desires.
The sound of liquid hissing into her diaper filled the room. Angie sighed as she set her hand on the diaper, feeling it re-warmed by her own pee this time.
Kim’s mother could see she was losing. That Angie was going to slip away and leave her in a way even more total then she had thought Angie had done only a few minutes before. "Please Angie. I love you like I do Kim. I can’t lose you too! I can’t! Without you I’ll forget the before times like everyone else. Please! I don’t know why it didn’t work like it should have but I’m glad for it! I want to have her, both of her.... Please."
Angie could feel the warmth pooling in the diaper. Oddly the line from the commercial popped into her thoughts, she almost smiled as she thought about the image of the padding holding the pool of liquid to be slowly absorbed and locked away. The idea that it was her own pee now doing it and it was her bottom being protected from a rash finally pushed the idea of living with her mistake and doing the right thing completely away. "I can’t." She said. Angie felt a twinge from her belly. Something she didn’t recognize at first. But a second twinge, much stronger then the first brought it abruptly to her attention.
Kim’s mother was having urges of her own. The recent memories of Angie, and their conversations seemed to be fading. Every time she tried to concentrate on one it slipped away. By the time she thought about not looking at the diaper and turning away it was too late. She heard a muffled fart come from Angie’s diaper and something inside seemed to change. "Angie! Don’t do that! Your mommy didn’t leave any extra diapers!" She rushed up to her, grabbing her under her arms, and trying to push her to her back on the floor. "And what are you doing up there like that? You can barely crawl much less stand on your own, let auntie help you down!"
"Barely crawl?!" The shock of that pulled Angie from her stupor long enough to stop her from doing anything more then passing gas. She pushed the woman away from her and toddled towards the door for her pants and other clothes. She shook her head to clear to cob webs still there, "This is nuts! I don’t want to be some fruit cake in diapers! What the hell was I thinking?" She expected to hear a response, but when she looked she noticed she was alone again. "Fuck it." She said to herself as she reached for the tabs on her diaper and pulled. Angie had expected to feel cold air on her hiney. To smell her own wet accident, or even smell her fart. Instead the diaper stayed on. She looked down and saw the tabs hadn’t been touched, or moved. She tried again, this time watching as her hands seemed to move on their own, fingers tightening into fists as she tried to grab something. Frantically she tried to get the diaper to come lose. After failing to get the tabs to move she tried to push it off. Finally she tried one last chance. "Hey... Look. I’m sorry okay. I made a bad choice. And I almost made a worse one. But whatever is happening I don’t want it." She said to Kim’s mother. Hoping she was close enough to hear her.
"I can’t help you Angie." Came to her from the next room, the voice sounded like it was said through clenched teeth. "I don’t want to lose another one. I can’t help you right now. Go. Just go. Before it’s unstoppable for us both!"
"I can’t go out like this! I need you to get the diaper off me! I’ll never do this again! I swear!" Angie started toddling towards the hallway. Accidentally bouncing off the edge of the table and almost falling to the floor. "Dam. Did these diapers always make it this hard to walk?" Her legs trembled as if to the point of exhaustion as she stayed upright. Taking unsteady baby steps towards her only hope. "Please mommy!" Angie stopped dead in her tracks as the word slipped out. "Nooooooo! I won’t let this happen to me! I swear I’ll fight! I don’t want to be a baby like Kim!"
But Kim’s mother still wanted her away, "Don’t you understand? I can’t see you in it! You have to leave! If I move it might be the end for us and Kim. I don’t want to lose everything else! Go! It’s okay, just go. Now!"
Stubbornly Angie refused to follow her instructions, "I have to get out of this thing. If you can barely control yourself anyone else that sees will instantly act like this is normal and I’ll be screwed! Just close your eyes and I’ll come to you."
"Don’t... Angie. You don’t know what this is like."
Angie started walking towards her anyways. "I think I do. Just close your eyes and put your hands out." Angie took a deep breath and finished the last few steps ending up almost in the woman’s arms. She was about to speak when she saw the large diaper in her right hand, and the open mobile phone in the other. "What the hell are those for I don’t want a change!" She reared back to slap some sense into the crazed woman, but as she looked for her target she saw her eyes. Her wide open eyes, perched above a motherly smile. She took a step back in fear, accidentally tripping on her own feet and falling to her padded rear. She attempted to stand up, but a sudden loud tone came from the phone.
Instantly her body seized and she was stuck in place, sitting stupidly on the floor. "Unit serial and claim." Buzzed from the phone. Female sounding, but sterile and emotionless.
Kim’s mother answered, sounding blank and monotone. "This is number four, five, nine, one, one, a-alpha, r-romeo, seven. I have a positive here. Seeking programming."
Angie’s mouth dropped in shock, she wanted to scream. But there was nothing she could do. In this new reality she had already been exposed to the programs. And now it seemed she was about to get the whole experience. She tried to speak out. But only managed to send drool down her chin.
"Volunteer, serial and destination?" Oozed from the phone.
Angie didn’t think she could answer, when suddenly a stream of numbers and letters came automatically from her mouth.
"Destination?" was asked again. Followed by oddly pleasant tones.
Angie felt an urge to say something, but bit her tongue to stop herself. "Nooooo!" She managed to scream. Before hearing a very familiar beep as the call was dropped. In an instant her body seemed to be hers again. She hopped up and ran for the kitchen door, it opened with a bang as she ran out into the night.
"I’ve got to get home." She thought to herself, "Get some money and try to get away." She didn’t have any idea what she was going to do after she got her money. "Maybe a new diapee.." She lazily thought before realizing what she was thinking. "Oh god!" She said. "It’s still getting worse!" She started to reach for the diaper tabs again, failing just as badly as before. She was getting ready to drag her hips across a chain length fence, hoping to snag and rip it off when she saw another woman pushing a baby buggy coming towards her. Angie snuck her body behind a tall bush when she got close enough to wave.
The woman smiled at her, "Nice night for a run huh?" She asked good naturedly.
The last thing Angie wanted to do while standing naked in nothing but a giant diaper was to have a pointless conversation. But she had to get her moving. "Yeah. Just ummmm.... Waiting for my friend to come along, gonna surprise her!"
The woman smirked, "I bet! Opps, hold on, the baby isn’t cooperating tonight."
Angie looked down towards the giant buggy, from the size she knew it was really an adult. But the wind shade, and part of the bush blocked her view. She forced a smile, "I bet she’s a real cutie pie all snuggled up in her pampers huh?"
"The cutest. She’s really wet right now, but I didn’t bring any dry diapers. So she’s a bit cranky."
Angie looked up and down the street, absently scratching at her own sopping diaper. Thinking of a line to get the woman moving. "You should try some music or something. Maybe cut the walk short and get her home?"
The woman nodded, "Believe me, I’m trying. But I can at least try the music." She leaned forward and touched something. Causing a low lullaby to emanate from the giant buggy. "It’s okay for me to wait to change her anyways. She usually makes me a big present before she nods off."
Angie nodded absently, flexing her legs at the reminder that she herself hadn’t pooped yet. And the urge to go was getting rapidly worse. She took another look around the street and decided that maybe asking a few direct questions would get the conversation over faster. "How long has it been for her?" She asked, looking down at the buggy.
"Just recently. She made a few bad choices, and in the end decided this was much easier. And it is. She went all in! Just a little, er... Big wet plaything for her momma!"
Angie nodded, surprised that this woman was so open about it, after what she had went through earlier in the day. The idea of a grown woman being reduced to a diaper wearing retard was bad enough, but now she was having a conversation with another person that had been programmed to actually like it. But as she tried to think of another way out from behind the bush her stomach cramped badly. Causing a quiet but wet fart to pop out. Angie prayed that it wouldn’t be bad. But almost instantly she smelled it.
The woman smelled something as well. "Oh... I think someone’s making a mess! Is that right? Is mommies big bad baby making a poopie?" She asked sweetly.
Behind the shrub Angie tried to hold her cheeks together but every second caused more gas to sneak out. Followed by what felt like a large lump just barely poking out of her. "She’s. (grunt) Poopy?"
The woman smiled and turned the music up louder, "Oh yes. I bet she’s just got it stuck in the back. She’s still to solid for being an infant. It’ll take months for it to go all soft and mushy like her head."
Angie was taken aback by the tone of voice the woman had used, almost as if she thought the idea of being mentally regressed was funny. "At least she’s happy, and has such a nice mommy to (grunt) help her."
"I know. She’s so lucky. I guess I’ll have to mash that diaper for her to make it easy on her."
Angie reached behind her own diaper, and felt the tent of padding holding her own mess back. She touched it with her finger, and pressed. As she smashed it down the urge to push one more time hit her, and in a rush her diaper was filled with her mess. The relief was instant. The feeling was intense and she unconsciously moaned. Feeling the front of her diaper re-warming a bit as well. Which felt more comfortable to her then it should as the night had started to cool. "Who cares... I’ll be out of it soon... And it was already wet anyways." She thought without shame.
"Wow! I’ve got a stinky baby today! I wonder if she’s done." The woman said sweetly. As if she enjoyed the idea of a messy diaper. And the horrible job it would be to clean it all off.
"Probably." Angie whispered to herself, starting to shiver as she looked down at her own diaper and wondered if it was as bad as the giant infant’s now laying in a pile of her own waste as well. She remembered watching the woman walk way earlier and she blushed at the idea that now it was her in a droopy smelly diaper.
The woman could hear the chattering of her teeth, "Oh, you’re cold! I’ve got something you can wear if you want."
Angie tried to tell her no, "Sorry. She should be here any second so I’ll be jogging soon. That’ll warm me up."
"Nonsense! I’ve got something here, I forgot her extra diapers, but I had some extra clothes wedged in her buggy. Hold on... Here we go, unless you have some high heeled jogging shoes I don’t know about I’d say this should fit."
Angie started to beg her off again, but suddenly something light green landed over her head. She grabbed it and held the item up in front of her. "Errr...." She muttered.
"Do you need help getting it on?" The woman asked.
Angie could here her starting to walk closer, in a panic she started to slip the thing on, "I’m fine! I’m getting it on right now!" The material felt slick and warm after so long being naked. The material felt very comfortable on her skin as it slid up and over her breasts. The arms seemed a little long to her, but she managed to pull them over her hands, the material bunching around her wrists. Angie was surprised to see there was no zipper. Only several patches of velcro that she pressed closed. At first she had thought it was a sleeper. But looking down she saw the legs were actually made to form a large bag that closed over the feet if needed. "It’s warm." She said as she crossed her arms in front of her, she looked over the bush at the woman and smiled at her, "Thanks! I guess I’ll have to get it back to you later somehow."
"Well just come over here and I’ll give you my number silly billy."
Now that she was covered Angie felt better. She stepped around the bush and towards the woman and the covered buggy. "Sure. You’re very nice to do this for me."
"It’s something any mother would do when they saw someone that needed help." She started to write something on a piece of paper. "Honestly, to think you would be out here just wandering around this time of night, and such a cutie too."
Angie didn’t like the way the conversation was going, "Sure. Thanks. I’m just gonna go now." She started to back away, pulling her suit up off her feet so she wouldn’t trip.
"Sure, just hold your horses. Let me get this set up just in case right? As a new mother I’ve learned you can never be to careful." She finished the note and handed it to Angie, "Be careful, don’t lose it."
Angie nodded, but she wasn’t really paying attention. Now that she was so close she was looking at the carriage, and wondering why the baby inside was so quiet. “Maybe the radio is to loud.” She thought as she reached out and turned it down.
As soon as the volume went lower she felt as if a weight had been taken off her. Suddenly she saw that she had been standing hunched over, and was drooling. She still had the radio in her hands when they were slapped away.
“Bad! That isn’t for you to play with...” The woman said as if scolding a child. “Silly billy shouldn’t touch things that aren’t hers.” She finished as she turned the radio back up even louder then before.
Now aware of the effect Angie instantly felt it. The change in stature, wetness running between her lips. She looked up at the woman, and titled her head as she started to ask a question, then forgot it.
The woman smiled, “How do we make sure you don’t lose that note? I’ve got it! Here we go!” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a large safety pin. Then using it, she attached the note to Angie’s chest. “Now you’re all set!”
Angie lifted the note to read it, but felt confusion and a bit of anger when it was to hard. “Stupid!” She said as she stomped one of her feet, almost falling over.
“Relax honey, since you’re all ready for your little trip do you want to see the baby before it’s to late?”
Angie smiled and nodded, a feeling of happiness at looking at someone that had it worse then her flooding her thoughts. Her hand snuck up to her lips, and a thumb entered as the woman lowered the buggy down so she could squat next to it and look in.
“Ready?” She asked.
“Weady!” Angie slurred around her finger.
The shade was drawn back and Angie looked inside. All she could see were street lights shining up at her. She pulled back and looked up and the woman confused even more.
“”You’ve got to lean in there, really get your head in to see her silly billy.”
Angie looked again, leaning as far as she could, feeling the mess in her diaper shift and move inside. But then she saw it, her thumb came out of her mouth. “A mirror?” She asked clearly and loudly.
“Such a smart baby!” The woman gushed. “That’s right! What does that mean silly?”
Angie felt fear as she answered automatically, “I’m da baby.” As the words left her mouth the strength to stand left her body and she tumbled forward into the buggy.
For several seconds she did nothing but wiggle and move her arms and legs while she felt strong hands repositioning her body. She felt herself slide forward on the slick surface, till her head touched the side of the buggy. “Noooo!!! Not baba!” She moaned though lips that felt wet and rubbery to her.
The woman expertly tucked her legs into the bottom of the sleep sack and closed the end with the velcro. “Well, that’s that huh? Now to get you home and into bed. She tucked several blankets over the girl. “You can get your nap now, and when you wake up you’ll be the baby you always wanted to be! And this time you won’t have to worry about anything! Night-night sweetie!”
Angie tried to struggle, but it was no use. The shade was pulled over and she felt the buggy start to move, the gentle motions, and the warmth of the blanket put her quickly to sleep.
She woke instantly later, light streaming over her face. Her eyes popping open and then closing tightly when she saw a sea of pink like Kim’s room. “God... No...” She tried to say, growing frustrated when nothing happened but a spit bubble and a gurgle. Angie kicked her feet causing a few spasms, but not even managing to move her knees, or flex her toes. She started to mewl quietly, trying to work up the strength to do something, anything. But her body was useless and limp. She heard a gurgle from her belly, and almost immediately her legs lifted a bit from the mat and she felt something warm ooze between her bum and diaper, as soon as it was finished her legs plopped right back down, pushing the mess everywhere. She was still trying to get control when someone appeared over her.
“Morning stinky pants! Did you make a stinky for mommy?” Kim’s mother asked. Angie looked at her in shock, wondering what had happened, where was her own mother? But she couldn’t ask, and her new mother wasn’t answering. At least not her questions. She picked her up carefully cradling her head in her arm, and set her down on the changing table. She didn’t even bother to buckle her down as she started to process of changing her diaper. “Looks like you’ve got a good load of fiber going girl. I don’t need you all stuffed up now do I? Though I might like a break from all your stinky diapers huh?”
"You’re.... You’re my mom now? What the hell is this? I don’t want a new mom! This can’t get any worse!" Angie wailed in her thoughts, she just wanted it to be over now. Angie had fought the change, but now she wanted it, to have it over and her mind turned to infantile bliss. Just to match her body’s actions. She knew she didn’t have much time to worry about it. If Kim and the others were good examples soon she wouldn’t remember enough to care any more. She endured being redressed in a simple cotton over shirt, and was then laid down on the floor in the living room. There she waited, staring at the wall not able to even move her own head till her mother came back to move it for her. Then she appeared, pulling Kim behind her.
Angie smiled while looking at her. At least she seemed happy. And if having her around kept her happy then maybe she did something right after all. She cooed her delight, just as her body released a small stream of pee into her padding. Reminding her of exactly where and more importantly exactly what she now was. “Just get this over with... Let me forget.” She thought.
“Owt!” Kim babbled.
“Silly Billy, it’s to cold outside, and there’s to much snow.” The voice of the woman from the night before said, just as she got in Angie’s field of view.
“Snow?” Angie wondered.
“And how’s the baby today?” She asked.
Kim’s mother answered, “Perfect. Though every morning she still makes that face when she wakes up. Like she had some kind of bad dream.”
“Every morning? It’s only been one stupid!” Angie tried to scream, doing nothing but pushing a wet fart out.
“Why don’t you take Kimmie to the kitchen, let me get a look at the baby?” The woman asked. Angie felt her head being moved, them felt sick as her vision blurred from sudden movement in another direction. She was now staring at the woman, who was giving her a good looking over. She opened her phone and dialed out. It picked up quickly, “Yes, I’m here. I don’t know what’s going on. It’s been months, her brain should have been deposited in her diaper a hundred timed over by now. But her mother says she still has the morning shock. No. She doesn’t have any issues any longer. It was the girl, and now that she’s gone the mother is set. Sure, I’ll let her know. It’s time for her feeding anyways.” The woman stood and walked away. Angie lay there on her back for what seemed like hours before she was picked back up and taken into another room.
She was still trying to figure out what was going on when she was set down in her mother’s lap. She was just able to focus on a bare breast before a nipple was brushed over her lips and she started to suckle. “I just wish I could die...” She thought in horror, just when she thought it couldn’t get any worse there was a knock at the door.
“Come in Sandy!” Her mom said not stopping to get up and answer the door.
Angie closed her eyes tight, not wanting to see who it was about to watch her suck on another woman’s tit. But when she heard the voice she got the second shock of her day. “The genie!” She said, accidentally nipping the flesh in her mouth.
“Woah! Watch those teeth Baby!” Her mother cried.
Angie tried to look at the source of the voice, but her body wouldn’t move away from it’s source of food. She heard the voice again.
“You should just get them removed. Everyone does. It makes everything easier.”
Angie recoiled in shock at that, but her mother didn’t notice. “I know. I have the appointment, I’m going to get Kim done to. Give her a few big spaces, and pull most of the molars.” Angie wet her diaper then, and may have messed as well. But she couldn’t even tell.
“Another diaper change I smell..” The genie said.
Angie felt her mother nod as the nipple was pulled from her mouth and she was gently set on the floor. She could see the genie now out of the corner of her eyes, and she didn’t look away as she got closer and bent over her as her diaper was changed.
“I’ll take that.” She said as her diaper was slid free. She held it over Angie’s face for a few seconds. Letting her see the ruined Hugs, before plopping it out of view on the floor. Angie cringed as a cool wet wipe was dragged over her bum. “Wow. I bet she really enjoys getting a clean diaper huh?”
Angie’s mother nodded as she started to powder her up, “It’s like walking into a clean bathroom I bet! But wearing it instead.”
Shock hit Angie as the entire wish came back to her. She knew what was about to be said.
“And they always have such a serious face when they have an accident, and it’s even more intense when it get’s changed. I’d love to know what’s going on up there.” The genie intoned.
“Not much I gather. In truth since she’ll always be a little wet toy for mommy we’ll never know.” Her mommy said while she pulled her shirt off, and got ready to put a new onsie on her.
The genie smiled, teeth gleaming. And bent over close to Angie’s face. “I guess over the new several decades only she’ll really know the truth.”