Justice Society: The Justice Society Plays Hookey

Chapter 2
Chapter Two

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Chapter Description: Chapter Two

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THE SPECTRE! Terrifying nemesis of the underworld, the undead avenger whose grim vengeance strikes from beyond the grave!

Usually. Right now, however, he was a snub-nosed, stark naked ten year old boy with a red flattop haircut and a spate of freckles over his shoulders, the only spectral thing about him the ghostly paleness of his bouncing bare behind as he ran down the diving board to jump off the cliff into the water.

"WHOOOO!"

SPLASH!

GREEN LANTERN! Wielder of the power ring, a shining beacon of eldritch emerald energy, scourge of criminals everywhere!

Usually. Right now, however, he was a curly-haired blond ten year old stark naked boy, his blinding white bare backside shining like a beacon as he ran after The Spectre.

"YAY!"

SPLASH!

HAWKMAN! Winged warrior, soaring the skies on wings of Nth Metal to strike at criminals like a bird of prey!

Usually. Right now, however, he was a golden-haired, solemn-looking ten year old boy, his naked body more resembling a picked chicken, his snow-white tail shaking from side to side as he ran after Green Lantern.

"WOW!"

SPLASH!

THE ATOM! Mighty mite, the pint-sized powerhouse whose atomic-powered punches make the goliaths of crime quake in their seven-league boots!

Usually. Right now, however, he was a red-haired, apple-cheeked, barrel-chested ten year old boy, the only visible evidence of his true identity the tanlines of his costume on his otherwise lily-white, jiggling bubble butt as he ran after Hawkman.

"WAHOO!"

SPLASH!

THE FLASH! A tornado of justice, the modern Mercury using his superhuman speed to battle evildoers everywhere!

Usually. Right now, he was a scrawny, friendly-faced ten year old boy with a shock of sandy brown hair, though he was certainly dressed like Mercury, with a bare backside white enough to put any marble statue to shame as he ran after The Atom.

"YIPPEEE!"

SPLASH!

HOURMAN! Inventor of the incredible Miraclo Pill that, for an hour at a time, gives him the strength of a giant to battle evil around the clock!

Usually. Right now, however, he was a stocky ten year old boy with curly brown hair, the crack of his pearly white little bare bottom swinging back and forth in perfect time like a metronome as he ran after The Flash.

"WHEEE!"

SPLASH!

DOCTOR FATE! Supernatural scourge of the wicked, wielding powerful white magic against the cosmic forces of doom!

Usually. Right now, however, he was a small, angelic-looking boy who resembled a cherub more than anything with his cloud of blond hair, his bobbing bare bum only slightly paler than the rest of him as he ran after Hourman.

"YIKES!"

SPLASH!

And THE SANDMAN! Strangely garbed stalker of the dreams of criminals, protector of the dreams of the innocent, dispensing nightmares to the unjust with his sleep-gas!

Usually. Right now, he was a bookish-looking, slightly pudgy dark-haired boy, his gleaming white, perfectly round bare behind shaking from side to side as he ran Doctor Fate.

"WHOOPEE!"

SPLASH!

The Justice Society, usually the greatest team of mystery men in the United States. Now, thanks to a strange device, they were pre-adolescent boys, powerful muscles regressed to baby fat, stern visages reduced to solemn pouts, their costumes and weapons locked up in a closet back in their brownstone headquarters as they splashed and sported in the water of the local swimming hole.

"Woo! This wuh-water’s cuh-cold!" Sandman squeaked upon surfacing.

"Aw, duh-don’t be s-s-such a buh-baby!" The Atom laughed, splashing him. "It’ll p-p-put hair on your ch-ch-chest!"

"Wuh-What, again?" Green Lantern splashed The Atom back. "Buh-But we just g-g-got rid of it!"

Treading water, Doctor Fate looked up at the diving board. "I duh-don’t trust that buh-buh-buh-board."

"Why n-n-not?" Flash asked, swimming over to him.

"Luh-luh-look," he pointed. " It has a luh-luhlittle crack."

"Well, s-s-s-so do you!" The Flash jibed. "So do I, cuh-cuh-come to think of it!"

"Very fuh-fuh-funny," Doctor Fate blushed.

"Thuh-This is cuh-crazy!" Hourman exclaimed, not for the first time this day. "Whuh-what if somebody s-s-s-sees us like this?"

"So whuh-what?" The Spectre smiled a twisted little smile. "They wuh-wuh-won’t recognize us!"

"Yeah!" Hawkman chimed in. "Who wuh-wuh-would ever think we were..."

"THE GREAT JUSTICE SOCIETY! HAW HAW HAW!"

Instinctively, the eight boys plunged down into the water to hide, then slowly rose, looking around. Then they saw them: The teenage bullies they’d rounded up earlier that day.

"Aw, lookit ’em! Ain’t they cute!" Spike gave a horselaugh. "Aren’t they just the sweetest little things!"

"Just like a buncha little Kewpie dolls!" Scrapper giggled.

The Justice Society poked their heads up out of the water.

"YOU BUH-BUH-BOYS GUH-GET OUT OF HERE!" shouted The Atom, his voice shriller than he would have liked it to be.

"YEAH!" Sandman added, shivering each word through blue lips. "LUH-LUH-LEAVE US ALUH-LONE!"

"Who’s gonna make us?" Slicker smirked. "oh, baby, this is something! The Justice Society of America, shrunk down to a bunch of naked little babies!"

The bullies laughed while the heroes fumed, shivering in the suddenly much colder water.

"I’M WUH-WUH-WARNING YOU!" The Spectre bellowed, his voice wavering slightly, now closer to the cradle than the grave. "YUH-YOU HAVE NUH-NUH-NO IDEA OF THE FORCES YOU’RE TUH-TUH-TAMPERING WITH!"

This made the bullies laugh even harder.

"YUH-YUH-YOU... YOU..." Hawkman sputtered.

"GET OUTTA HUH-HUH-HERE!" Green Lantern squeaked.

"Cold, huh?" Breezy snickered.

The boys’ goosebumps were all the answer the bullies needed.

"GUH-GUH-GO AWAAAAY!" Doctor Fate screamed miserably.

"Nah," Toughy laughed. "The view’s too good here!"

"YUH-YUH-YUH-YOU’LL PUH-PUH-PAY FOR THIS!" The Flash yelled, shaking like a rattle. "YUH-YUH-YOU JUST WUH-WUH-WAIT!"

Sid smirked. "Oh, yeah? We’re waiting!"

Just then, Bruiser’s voice was heard in the distance. "There they are, Mister Thunder!" He came running in, leading JSA mascot Johnny Thunder by the hand.

"Oh, nuh-no!" The Atom smacked his head. "Juh-Juh-Johnny Thuh-Thunder! Nuh-Nuh-Now we’re s-s-sunk!"

Bruiser ran to the edge of the swimming hole, pointing at the shivering boys. "There are the boys who wrote that disgusting stuff all your your headquarters!"

The heroes’ eyes went wide. "Wuh-Wuh-WHAT?"

"Thuh-That’s ruh-ruh-ridiculous! Thuh-THEY..."

"The Justice Society told them to clean it off, but instead they ran off and went in swimming!"

"Oh, they did, eh?" Johnny Thunder crossed his arms. "Okay, you little brats! Out of the water, now!"

The heroes paled, looking at Johnny, then at the smirking teens laughing behind his back.

"Buh-Buh-But Johnny..."

"Nuh-uh!" Johnny shook his head. "I don’t let a bunch of hooligans call me Johnny! You kids get right back there and finish cleaning that wall if you know what’s good for you!"

The teens grinned, arms folded. The little heroes fumed.

"AW, CUH-CUH-C’MON, JOHNNY!" The miserable little Atom exploded. "CUH-CUH-CAN’T YOU TELL THEY’RE LUH-LYING? HOW DUH-DUMB ARE YOU?"

Johnny Thunder’s eyes widened in surprised anger. "Say, you kids got quite a mouth!" he yelled back, inadvertantly saying his magic word. "I wish someone would turn the bunch of you over his knee and give you the spanking of your lives!"

The boys’ jaws dropped in horror. Johnny’s pink thunderbolt, his magic servant, swirled out of the air, plucking the eight little heroes from the water and arranging them over his extended lightning-bolt tail.

"No, no!" Green Lantern protested.

"Don’t! It’s us!" Doctor Fate squealed.

"Sorry guys," The Thunderbolt apologized, "But you know the rules. I gotta obey the guy, no matter what he says!"

Suddenly, the Thunderbolt had eight giant hands, each of which went to work soundly spanking a member of the Justice Society.

"OW! YEOW! OOOO!"

WHACK WHACK WHACK!

The teens, meanwhile, were doubled up laughing. "Oh, baby!" Toughy gloated, careful Johnny didn’t hear. "The Justice Society, getting a bare naked licking!"

The furious boys kicked, screamed, and swore, their squirming, cherubic little backsides grower redder by the minute.

"Boy, they do have dirty mouths!" Bruiser marvelled.

Finally, the Thunderbolt finished, dropping the boys in a nearby clump of bushes. They moaned, peeking out sadly.

"Okay," Johnny Thunder ordered. "Now march! Back to the headquarters! Move it!"

"But... But..." The Spectre whimpered. "But we have no clothes on!"

"Too bad for you! Now get going! Or I’ll turn you boys over my knee myself!"

Gulping, the little heroes emerged. The teens fell over themselves laughing as the eight Justice Society heroes marched out, blushing and scowling, their posteriors glowing like hot coals.

The Atom glared up at them. "Aw, what are you looking at?"

"Wow!" Scrapper laughed. "He really did give ’em the spanking of their lives!"

"Gee," Breezer snickered. "I’ll bet that stings!"

"You don’t know the half of it, brother!" Green Lantern muttered miserably through clenched teeth.

"Okay, march!"

Blazing red on both ends, the boys who had been The Atom, Hawkman, The Spectre, Doctor Fate, The Flash, Green Lantern, Hourman, and The Sandman marched, the smirking teens giggling as they followed. Johnny Thunder led the way.

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"Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"It’s true, Joh... Uh, Mister Thunder... Sir!"

"And you’re telling me you’re Green Lantern!"

"No!" The desperate little blond boy shifted from one foot to the other, his little chest heaving. "I’m Hawkman! THAT’S Green Lantern!" He pointed to a curly-haired blond boy who looked up at Johnny. "And that’s Sandman, and Spectre, and The Atom!"

Johnny smirked. "Right. And I’m Superman!"

The teens snickered, watching the shrunken heroes trying frantically to convince Johnny Thunder of their wild story.

Finally, the JSA mascot shouted, "ENOUGH! If you little shrimps don’t knock it off, I’ll clobber you! Now get moving!"

The little heroes looked at him, looked at each other, then sadly walked, buck naked, out in front of the brownstone building headquarters of the Justice Society. Passerby on the sidewalk a few feet away gaped.

"Aw, what are you looking at!" The Atom growled as he and the others covered their tiny, hairless pre-adolescent genitals with their hands.

"Aw, c’mon, Joh... Mister Thunder!" Sandman whimpered, painfully aware of the people gathering to stare at them. "Do we HAVE to..."

"Yes, you have to! Your buckets and sponges are right where you left them! Too bad we couldn’t find your clothes but if hadn’t run off to go swimming..."

"But we didn’t... Aw, what’s the use?"

Blushing furiously, the eight stark naked boys who had been the Justice Society walked over and bent over, exposing their blazing red bare backsides to the people on the street.

"Wow! Someone licked those little brats good!"

"Way to go, Johnny! That’s one way to put some color in their cheeks!"

"Oh my... Oh good heavens, Eunice, this is NOT for our eyes!"

Taking their sponges, the boys set to work scrubbing the chalked obscenities off the brickwork, trying not to wiggle too much. A crowd was forming to watch them.

"Don’t worry, Mister Thunder!" Slicker assured Johnny, a butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-his-mouth expression on his face. "We’ll keep an eye on those little brats and make sure they don’t run off again!"

"That’s good," Johnny nodded. "See," He motioned to the sulking JSAers. "Those are good boys. Y’oughta try to grow up to be more like them!"

"Yeh," Sid cackled. Unseen by Johnny, he passed items out to the other bullying teens who had actually written the chalk obscenities in the first place.

"Ah, PLEASE, Mister Thunder!" Hourman whined. "If you’ll just let us go in the headquarters and SHOW you..."

"I think you’re showing everyone quite enough right now!" Johnny responded, getting a laugh from the crowd. "Look, if you’re all very good and do a good job, maybe I’ll let you come in and see the place. Okay?"

The heroes slumped, resigned. "Yes, sir..."

Johnny headed inside, closing the door behind him. The little JSAers continued working, looking over their shoulders at the bullies assembling behind them.

"Wh-What are you guys doing?" Doctor Fate asked nervously.

The bullies each produced a plumed feather. Some members of the crowd giggled.

The Spectre swallowed hard. "Wh-Wh-What do you intend to do with those?"

Johnny leaned out the window, addressing the bullies, who quickly hid the feathers behind their backs. "Hey guys," he said. "See if you can get those kids to put a wiggle on. Y’know, give ’em a little goose."

"Oh, we will," Bruiser nodded, smiling broadly. "We will."

Johnny closed the window, disappearing. The bullies produced their feathers and set to work, tickling the freshly spanked, extremely sensitive little derrieres of the little Justice Society.

"WHOOHEEHOOHAH! Oh, you’ll PAY for this! YEEHEEHOOHEEHOOHAH!"

"WEEHEEHOOHAHYEEHOOHOOO! We’ll get even for this if it’s the last thing we... YAHOOOWAAHOOHEEHOO!"

Little behinds wiggling frantically, the heroes scrubbed the brick, realizing their only chance was to get it cleaned off.

"Darn it... WEEHOOHAHWEEHOOOHAH! ....you brats! YIPE!" A flustered Hawkman peeped as he had to bend over to dip his sponge. "I thought you were rotten before but... HEEHOOHAHOOWEEHAH!"

"Yeah!" Breezy laughed. "I guess we’ve really hit bottom this time!"

Meanwhile, Johnny Thunder had entered the meeting room. "Good gravy!" He exclaimed at the ungainly heap of machinery inside. "What’s that thing?"

Then he found the notes and papers sent by the scientist on the table where Hawkman had left them.

"Wow! A youth machine! Just like those kids said. Golly, is it possible that...?"

He went to the closet and opened it, finding the Justice Society’s discarded costumes and weapons.

"Gosh!" He held up a pair of boxer shorts. "It must be true! Those kids really are The Justice Society!"

Groaning, he smacked his forehead. Hurrying to the window, he looked out to see the goings-on.

"Oh..." He choked back a giggle. "Oh, those poor..."

Little Atom, Hawkman, Green Lantern, Flash, Sandman, Spectre, Doctor Fate, and Hourman wiggled and giggled as the bullies’ feathers assaulted them, receiving a goose when they had to bend over.

"Well..." Johnny stifled a chuckle. "They’re going a good job cleaning the walls, I’ll give ’em that much!" He went back to the meeting room. "Maybe I ought to let ’em finish. That’ll give me time to arrange a few things!"

#

"Well, that’s probably the cleanest that wall’s ever been!" Johnny patted little Hawkman on the head. "But you boys seem all out of breath!"

"Yeah, well, you try being tickled for over two hours!" The Atom growled under his breath.

Johnny pretended he didn’t hear. "And did your rumps get even redder?"

"They got bored with the tickling every now and then," Flash added, also under his breath, skinny arms folded over his heaving little chest.

"We kept a real good eye on ’em, Mister Thunder!" Toughy said eagerly. "Didn’t let ’em slack off or anything! Any time they tried... WHACK!"

"Yeah," Doctor Fate moaned, rubbing his bottom. "We’ll say!"

"Well, that’s just great, boys. Come on in," Johnny motioned them through the door.

He stopped the JSAers. "You little guys wait here a minute," he waved the teens over. "You guys, go in that room. I’ve got something I need to give you."

"Official commendations, no doubt!" Bruiser puffed out his chest.

"Yeah! For being such good babysitters!" Sid snickered, ruffling the fuming little heroes’ hair.

The door closed, leaving the little heroes assembled outside, armed folded, blazing red rears thrust out behind them.

"Boy! How stupid can Johnny be!" Green Lantern exploded.

"When I get big again, I’ll kill him!" The Atom raged.

"Wait a minute!" The Spectre cautioned. "Listen! Do you hear that?"

The boys pressed their ears against the door.

"It sounds like the machine!" The Flash gasped. "Oh, no! You don’t think those bullies tricked Johnny into it, do you?"

Hourman shook his head. "Poor Johnny!"

"Poor us!" Hawkman moaned. "That was our only chance to get back to normal size!"

Finally, the door opened again. And eight pouting, oddly familiar looking, stark naked toddlers stalked out.

"Offisal commenation! DWEAT idea, Bwusuh!"

"Ah, sut up, oo duys!"

They noticed the smirking heroes and scowled up at them.

"Aw, whad ah oo yooking at!" One tot growled, shaking his fist up at the boys’ belly buttons. "Weel ded you foh dis! Oo abend seen duh end of us!" Waving a little arm to his fellow. "Tum on, duys!"

They marched off, rosy pink on both ends, pudgy little bottoms wiggling in indignation as the Justice Society collapsed laughing.

"Whada we donna DO, Shid?"

"Tut up, willya? Yust tut up!"

Johnny leaned against the doorframe, smiling down at the grinning heroes. "And now, the first meeting of the Junior Nudist Justice Society is officially underway! How’d you guys get into this mess anyway?"

The little heroes marched inside, blazing red little bottoms similarly wiggling as Johnny tried not to laugh. "We TRIED to tell you..."

#

"Wow! That’s some story!" Johnny laughed as the still kidsized Justice Society buzzed around the meeting room.

"And it wouldn’t have been half as humilating if you’d just listened to us!" The little Atom plunked down in a chair, then jumped to his feet again. "YOW!" He rubbed his still tender rump.

"Uh, yeah..." Johnny tried not to giggle. "Sorry about that... I guess you guys would rather stand, huh?"

"It’s not funny!" The Atom growled.

"I’ll bet another swim would cool us off back there!" Green Lantern ventured.

A smile crept across Hawkman’s face. "Yeah... We didn’t really get a chance to have much fun before those bullies showed up!"

Doctor Fate pondered. "And now that they’re gone..."

"Okay boys," Johnny laughed, ruffling the hair of the two nearest JSAers. "You guys go ahead. Someone has to be the sensible adult around here!"

Hourman smiled, noting he was right in front of the machine. "Oh, yeah?"

Before Johnny knew what was happening, the boys had pushed him under the light and thrown the switch. One purplish-blue light later, there was another boy in the room.

"Oh, no!" Johnny shouted in a voice several octaves higher than usual as he stumbled out of the machine in his oversized suit. His pants slid down and he quickly yanked them back up. "You jerks!"

"Jerks, are we?" The Spectre grinned. "Strip him!"

"WHAT? Not on your..." Trying to flee, Johnny slipped on his overlong pantlegs. instantly, the others were upon him, yanking off his clothing until he was as bare as they were.

"Well, well, well!" Sandman ruffled Johnny’s hair. "Welcome to the nudist club, junior!"

"Hey!" Covering himself as best he could, Johnny got to his feet. "Okay guys, joke’s gone far enough! Now gimme back my clothes!"

"Hey, wait a minute, guys!" The Flash giggled, pointing at Johnny’s pasty white, dimpled bare backside. "Looks like somebody didn’t get his initiation spanking!"

"Well, we’ll take care of that!" Green Lantern spit in his hands and rubbed them together. "Get him, guys!"

"H-H-Hey! W-W-Wait a minute, fellas..." Johnny backed away from the advancing horde. "Can’t we talk this over? Let’s be reasonable here..."

They leapt. He ducked and ran.

"After him!"

The back door of the Justice Society headquarters flew open and a little blond streak flew out, a little cottontail wiggling frantically towards the woods. A second later, eight glowing red tails followed.

"Come on! Let’s duck him in the lake!"

They ran after him, all but Sandman, who looked a bit doubtful.

"I dunno, guys. After everything that happened before, don’t you think we should..."

"Ah, the machine’ll still be here when we get back!" Flash laughed.

"Yeah, I guess..." Sandman ran to catch up with the others.

Meanwhile, back in the meeting room, the youth machine shook three times before collapsing, a pillar of black smoke wafting from the rubble.

"Uh-oh! That’s not good at all!" Johnny’s Thunderbolt smiled. "But don’t worry, readers! I happen to know the machine’s effects are only temporary! They’ll all be their old selves again in a few hours!" He swirled and flew away. "Now I have to catch up with the boys! I’ve GOTTA see what happens next!"

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