Fibs and Fumbles

Chapter 1
Ch 1 Prologue

Chapter Description: A brief introduction to our unsympathetic protagonist - Jack.

The smoking area was packed with drunken students, stood shoulder to shoulder. Amongst them, a group of three had huddled together, attempting to hold a discussion without their voices being drowned out by the din of the crowd.

“So, go on then, how exactly did you find yourself with cash to throw around? You fucked off into your own apartment and now you’re buying rounds for us all. Did your nan die or something?” The young man swayed, one eye half shut, as he tried to work with the woman next to him to light a cigarette.

Jack looked at the pair, their hair wet with sweat from the humid dance floor, contrasting with the freezing conditions outside. It had been barely a month since he’d left their cramped, shared accommodation for his own studio apartment, and his newfound wealth had not gone unnoticed. Alex, who had been with Jack through school before following him to university, knew he wouldn’t have money tucked away and was curious about where it was coming from.

“First, you alright, Jen?” Jack asked. Jen was leaning on Alex for support with a dazed look on her face.

“Wha…? Yea, s’all good…” No eye contact. She was totally out of it and wouldn’t understand a word of what he said, which was probably a good thing.

“On that note – giant babies.”

There was a moment of silence as Alex looked at him, puzzled.

“Giant babies?” Alex said, enquiringly. Jack started laughing as he explained.

“Long story short, shady Donnie from back home introduced me to some low-key tricks he was pulling. My parents flat-out refused to pay for much more than the minimum whilst I’m here, so I needed the money. One of the things Donnie showed me was how to catfish horny fucks…” Alex started giggling at the idea of his friend pretending to be a sexy lady online.

“…It started off on dating sites, forums, etc., but then I got tipped off about certain, err, fetish stuff and, as part of that: adult babies. They’re all desperate, lonely, and gullible as fuck,” he said, stopping to take a swig of his lukewarm beer.

“You mean like the folk who dress up as babies, nappies and that? Shit themselves?” Alex gleefully enquired.

“Gross,” Jen contributed, despite being only semi-aware of what was being said.

“Yeah, I won’t lie, some of the stuff they come out with is beyond weird and grim, but mate, the results speak for themselves,” he responded smugly… as smug as you can be confessing that you spend your nights acting like a manipulative, babified sexbot anyway.

“Fuck me, man, is that not like stealing from the mentally handicapped?” Jack was momentarily caught off guard. Alex was a good friend, but he wasn’t exactly one to score points on morality.

“Nah, it’s like, you know, kink - like ropes and chains, but they’re into being babies. I mean, goes without saying, most are a bit unhinged, but some of their wallets are deep enough. I don’t want to go into the specifics because I’ll chunder, but seriously, I was getting fuck-all from regular dating sites by comparison. Turns out, the weirder you go, the easier it gets.” Alex again couldn’t stop himself from laughing as Jack fed him the details.

“So, giant baby scam artist. Nice. I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet, but maybe we’ll see how the finances are at the end of the year, like. Tell ya what, could do with a fucking nappy right now rather than getting through this crowd.” Alex twisted his legs comically, miming his predicament.

Looking around, the crowd seemed to heave. Jack laughed. He reckoned nights like this were necessary for his sanity, they helped him feel normal, less dirty, less predatorial, like he wasn’t spending every night alone in a mire.

Jack stared at Jen, barely able to stand, struggling to keep her top in place as men leered her way, occasionally jostling her to get her attention.

“Going to call her a taxi, mate. She’s gone.”