The Special Teacher

Chapter 5
Blast from the Past

The room looked much different in the morning sunlight. Somehow it appeared even more juvenile with the pale hues of the walls and ceiling illuminated so well. Ethan didn’t notice though. He awoke to the most comforting sensation of being cuddled in his brother’s arms, the other boy’s breath warm on his cheek as he continued to slumber.

But Ethan didn’t want to keep sleeping, he felt eager to start the day now. He rolled over, waking Liam up as well. He blinked the sleep away and smiled at Ethan.

“Lez wake Mummy,” he suggested.

Ethan liked the idea instantly. He climbed out of bed, his pee-pee all big again, flapping against his tummy as he hurried after Liam, who was giggling as he raced out of the bedroom and down the hallway, straight into Mummy’s bedroom.

Mummy was still asleep, but that didn’t last long. Liam pounced on her bed, laughing loudly as she was jolted awake. Ethan wasn’t far behind, flopping onto Mummy’s bed and crawling up to her side, smiling at her, his stiff pee-pee waggling about between his legs. Mummy was startled, but not angry. She grinned right at Ethan and said, “Looks like somebody is still feeling silly this morning.”

Ethan didn’t really understand, but he liked being silly, that was certain. He nodded and lied down beside her, pecking a big good morning smooch on her cheek. Liam did the same and Mummy pulled back the covers and told them, “C’mon then, let’s cuddle.”

Ethan shivered with joy, climbing under the covers and snuggling his lovely Mummy for all he was worth. It was a perfect start to the day. And after a few minutes of cuddles Mummy turned on the TV and Ethan instantly recognised his favourite show, Sesame Street! He and Liam reversed direction, lying on their tummies with their feeties swinging in the air, giving Mummy a perfect view of their bare bum-bums. They didn’t care, Elmo was on!

It was only when the show was over that Mummy reminded them, “Okay boys, time to brush your teeth like good boys, then you can have breakfast. Remember we’ve got a busy day in front of us.”

**

The big day Mummy was talking about turned out to be a trip to the A&P Show. It was a rural Kiwi tradition, a weekend where all the farmers turned up and showed off their best produce and stock. But there was more than sheep and cows to look at, there would be rides for the kids, games to play, food stalls and more. It was a big day for little Ngatea and they got to be a part of it!

After brushing his teeth and letting Mummy fill his tummy with brekkie Ethan found himself getting dressed for the day. He didn’t choose his outfit of course. That was Mummy’s job. His job was to be a good boy and not fuss too much while she worked his new shirt over his head and arms, take big steps into his fluffy new undies and shorts. Ethan knew how to do that, he was a smart cookie, Mummy said so.

Finally they were heading out the front door, all ready to go. It was all very exciting and Ethan was looking forward to seeing all the animals. His nice new bright orange t-shirt had an animal on it too. It was a monkey! Mummy said it was appropriate for a cheeky monkey like him. There were words too, but he couldn’t read them upside down. He wore board shorts with his shirt. They were baggy and comfy, falling well below his knees. There was a little cargo pocket on one leg, but he didn’t need it for anything. Mummy was carrying all they needed.

“Ready to see the sheep boys?” she asked as they stepped out onto the front steps.

“I wike sheeps. They fwuffy!” Ethan declared, smiling at his silliness.

“I wanna see a tigah!” Liam added, making his hands into mock paws and clawing at Ethan playfully, scowling and roaring.

Mummy laughed at their antics. “Well I don’t know if we’ll see any tigers today sweetie. But we’ll do our best.”

Liam giggled and hurried ahead to the car. Ethan chased after brother but the gravel driveway was a bit ouchie on his feet. Liam didn’t seem bothered at all, charging ahead. Ethan frowned and told Mummy, “Da gwound is all pinchy.”

“Oh, I’m sorry baby,” she consoled him, rubbing his shoulder. “Don’t worry, the show grounds are nice soft grass.”

Ethan began to nod when he noticed that Mummy was wearing sneakers. She didn’t need to worry about the sharp gravel of the driveway. How come he didn’t have sneakers?

“C’n I wear sneaks?” he asked, pointing hopefully.

“Sneakers? Why ever would you want to wear those, silly billy? You’re much better off with free toesies, so much more comfy for running and climbing for boys like you. Don’t worry your feet will toughen up like Liam’s very soon and then you won’t even notice the ouchy gravel.”

Ethan looked over at Liam, hopping up and down on the driveway with a big smile. If it was good for him, it must be right for Ethan too. Mummy must be right, sneakers must feel icky.

“Why you wear ‘em?” he asked, instead.

“Grown-ups have to do a lot of things we don’t like,” Mummy explained.

It must be awful to be a grown-up, Ethan decided. No play time, no toys, no one to tuck you in and kiss you goodnight and you had to wear shoes.

Yes, he was definitely lucky to be a boy, he thought as Mummy buckled him tightly into the back seat next to Liam.

**

Ethan scrunched his fingers in the soft, warm grass on either side of him, momentarily distracted by the sensory experience. Giggles around him brought his attention back to the man in the bow-tie and top hat, a magician! Ethan smiled as the man made a ball simply disappear in his hand when he made a fist. Magic was amazing!

“Where’d it go?!” a little boy to his right called out, pointing.

Ethan wondered too. How did the man do magic like that? He adjusted his position, sitting on his bottom in the grass among a gaggle of twenty or so children, all totally entranced by the magician’s show. Ethan rubbed his bare soles back and forth in the grass too. That felt really nice. It was so comfy having free toes. Why did that feel like such an amazing freedom though? Shouldn’t that just be normal?

“Bwing it back!” a little girl demanded, hopping up and down.

Most of the other kids were really little. They probably only came up to Ethan’s thigh if they were all standing. Ethan liked being so tall. Liam was tall too though, and there was another girl sitting on the other side of the crowd who looked tall too. She could have been mistaken for a grown-up, except she was wearing a frilly princess dress and had bare feet too. Ethan remembered what Mummy said, grown-ups had to have shoes.

The magician began making balloon animals next. At first the children rushed up, but he warned them to be good boys and girls and they quickly got into a line. Everyone would get their turn, he assured them. Eventually he got to the front, even though it felt like absolutely forever. The magician man was shorter than him too, but Ethan was still a little scared of him cuz he knew magic.

The magician looked Ethan over and smiled warmly. “What would you like buddy?” he asked brightly, using the same tone he had for the five-year old boy he’d just made a balloon sword for. “How about a doggy?” he suggested.

Ethan shook his head. “Don’ wanna doggy,” he insisted.

The magician nodded sagely. “Well, maybe a monkey then, like your shirt?”

Ethan’s eyes lit up and he nodded. “Mummy says I’m a cheeky monkey!” he announced.

The magician chuckled. “I bet you are buddy.”

“My name is Efan,” he told the man, remembering you were supposed to introduce yourself to new people.

“Nice to meet you Ethan,” the man replied with a smile, beginning to work at a bright blue and orange balloon, moulding it expertly into a crude version of a monkey.

“How’s that Ethan?” he asked after a moment.

Ethan’s eyes were wide as saucers and he couldn’t help but hop up and down on his bare toes. He reached out and took the amazing monkey balloon, the thing that was all his own and barely remembered to use his manners and say, “Fank you!” to the magician before rushing off to show Mummy.

She wasn’t far away. Most of the Mummies and Daddies were standing just behind the gathering of kids, chatting while the little ones had their fun. Ethan could see the tall girl in her princess dress, showing off a bright pink tiara balloon resting atop her pig-tailed head. Ethan thought it was silly that the little girl was taller than her Mummy.

“Mummy, lookit my bawoon!” he called to Mummy, spotting her in the crowd of grown-ups.

Claire waved him over and made a big show of inspecting his balloon. “Oh my, it is quite a cute monkey,” she agreed.

“Is not cute Mummy! Is cheeky!” Ethan insisted.

“Oh, of course! We’ll have to keep a close eye on it then,” she agreed.

Something poked Ethan softly in the back and he turned to see that Liam was jabbing him with a balloon sword. It didn’t hurt or anything, but it was annoying. Ethan pulled away and snapped, “Stop it!”

Liam was only more eager to poke him after getting a reaction, giggling all the more as he jabbed at his brother and told Mummy, “I’m a piwate! Arrrrr!”

Ethan felt his emotions spiralling quickly. Liam was stealing Mummy’s attention away from his cool monkey with that stupid sword. His thing was just like the one several boys had. Ethan’s monkey was special, it was just for him.

“Don’ do dat!” he screeched, getting angry now, ready to tantrum, ready to cry.

“Liam, don’t poke at Ethan,” Mummy ordered, intervening just in time. “I think we should all go get some ice cream. Does that sound good?” she asked, looking for a distraction.

It worked. As soon as Ethan heard ice cream mentioned it was all he could think about.

“I wan’ staw-bewwy!” he shouted.

“You can have whatever flavour you want sweetie. But you need to be a good boy and don’t shout.”

Ethan bit his lip and nodded. He’d do anything for strawberry ice cream.

They made their way across the show grounds, looking for the food stands. There was lots of other stuff going on, that was for sure. Crowds were watching men race to cut logs with handsaws and chainsaws. Kids were showing off their calves and lambs, parading them around the grass. But they were big kids, they were probably almost through primary school. Ethan identified with the little kids, the boys and girls holding their parents’ hands, sitting on their shoulders. Most of them were physically small too, but not all.

“Why hello there Claire!” a woman’s voice called to them.

Ethan turned and looked at the woman who was calling to Mummy. She was a bit older looking than Mummy, but not really old. She was a Mummy too, that Ethan instantly understood, as this woman was pushing a girl in a pushchair. Except it was much bigger than a normal pushchair.

The girl sitting in it was clearly a woman in her 20s. But her brown hair was done up in high pig-tails and she wore a short pale yellow t-shirt that just barely covered her breasts and what was unmistakably a puffy white nappy. She wore no pants, no shorts or skirt to cover her infantile underwear. And it was clear she didn’t care either. The young woman was chewing on a plastic teething toy, her chin shining in the sunlight, glistening with spittle which dripped from her chin and left a big drool stain on her tiny t-shirt. Her eyes were completely glazed over and unfocused and she batted her bare feet uselessly against the footrest of her chair, oblivious to how she appeared.

The woman in the pushchair wasn’t alone though. Ethan was more interested in the Mum’s other charge. It was a man who appeared to be about the same physical age as himself, a couple inches taller and thin with short dark hair. But it was obvious to anyone that mentally he was little bigger than the girl in the pushchair. While he was walking on his own he was tied to the pushchair by a child leash, the white restraint looped around his wrist.

Of course it would have been laughably simple for an adult, for a primary-schooler, to escape from the simple restraint, to simply undo it. But this young man didn’t have the mental faculties to even attempt it. He was wearing a pair of pale blue shorts with just brushed his knees, the elastic waist failing to conceal the top of the pull-ups he was wearing. The white plastic material was clearly visible and all the more so because the man had no shirt on at all. He was wandering around the show shirtless and of course barefoot, his toes noticeable a bit grimy, used to being in the dirt without shoes. His lips and chin were smeared with chocolate ice cream, now dried and sticky, his fingers also bearing the evidence of his most recent meal.

And none of this registered to the young fellow. He just hopped about, spinning in circles until the leash stopped him, toddling wide-legged ahead until the leash yanked him back by the arm and he pouted and pointed at whatever had caught his interest now and called, “Wook Mumma!”

“Grace! How nice to see you,” Claire called back, stopping their search for ice cream momentarily.

“It’s been too long,” Grace said, stopping the pushchair before them.

“Mummy, ice cream,” Liam pleaded and Ethan nodded.

“Be patient Liam. Or you won’t be getting any ice cream at all,” Claire warned.

Liam pouted but stayed quiet. Ethan decided he better be good too. The grown-ups were talking now, and it was naughty to interrupt them, he knew that. Instead he watched the other little boy. The boy gaped slack-jawed at the grown-ups talking for a second then lost interest and dropped to a squat, picking at his toes, then ripping up blades of grass and flinging them aimlessly, babbling nonsense to himself.

“So things are still going smoothly?” Claire asked her friend.

“Oh yes, they really are the sweetest things. It was a bit hard at first of course, you know they get attached to their first caregiver and all, but it’s been over a year now and I think they’ve forgotten all about it,” Grace explained.

“Why’s he gotta leash?” Ethan blurted out. The question had come to his mind and he forgot to be a good boy and let the grown-ups talk for a second.

But luckily both the women smiled and laughed at his question.

“Well, it’s just because Timmy here is a very little boy, much littler than you, and he doesn’t know to stay by Mummy’s side. He could run off and get himself lost, or hurt,” Grace explained.

Ethan nodded, watching Timmy chewing in some of the blades of grass, the green flecks sticking to his already messy face, gazing at them with eyes totally lacking in intelligence. Yes, clearly Timmy was just a silly little toddler.

“I’m a big boy,” Ethan added, to be clear that he was nothing like silly little Timmy.

“Of course you are,” Grace agreed, then addressing Claire she asked, “How long has this little one been with you?”

“It’s still his special day,” Claire answered quickly.

“Oh, so he hasn’t…”

“No.”

Grace nodded and looked back at Ethan. “Well, you sure are a lucky boy getting to come to the show,” she suggested, changing the subject.

Ethan found the whole exchange confusing. But grown-up talk was always confusing so that was nothing new. But Timmy seemed to be really staring at him now, having dropped the rest of the grass. He stood back up and pointed. “Bah-oon!” he declared brightly, an open-mouthed smile on his dumb face.

“Yes sweetie, that is a balloon. Aren’t you a clever little boy,” Grace cooed, rubbing Timmy’s bare back.

The young man reached his arms out and lunged forward, trying to grab the monkey balloon animal. Ethan dodged backwards and snapped, “No! Mine!”

Timmy’s smile faltered and he moved away, looking deeply confused. Grace quickly pulled the man into a cuddle and began stroking his hair and whispering assurances to him.

“Ethan, don’t be selfish,” Mummy admonished him.

“He gonna ruin it Mummy,” Ethan insisted.

“Don’t be rude,” she retorted.

“No, it’s okay,” Grace assured. “Timmy has a problem with grabbing things that aren’t his.”

Ethan felt better once the other Mummy took his side. And besides the little boy wasn’t crying, he was okay now.

“Why he don’t gotta shirt?” Ethan then inquired.

Grace smiled. “Oh, Timmy doesn’t like wearing clothes at all. He’d be nakie waking up to beddy-byes if I let him. So if the weather is nice I don’t bother putting him in any more clothes than I have to.”

“Jay-buwed!” the shirtless man announced, grinning again, looking delighted at the discussion of his exhibitionist streak.

“That’s right, Timmy’s Mummy’s jaybird,” Grace confirmed brightly.

“The important thing is he’s comfortable,” Claire agreed. Then she put her hand on Ethan’s shoulder and said, “You know it would be fine if you’d like your shirt of too sweetie. I know you prefer being nakey too.”

Ethan felt a flash of embarrassment. Nakey was okay for at home with just Mummy and Liam, but he wasn’t a baby like Timmy. He shook his head right away. “No Mummy, I’m a big boy!” he insisted.

“Okay, okay,” she calmed. “No one will force you. I just want you to know it’s okay if you want to leave the shirt at home sometimes.”

Ethan shook his head at the very idea. In fact, this whole thing was starting to feel more and more embarrassing. Not for Timmy though. He was just sucking his thumb now, ignoring their conversation. And the woman in the pushchair was playing with her own feet, yanking her right foot right to her face and jamming her toes in her mouth.

“Ewww!” Ethan and Liam exclaimed together.

“She’s eatin’ her toes!” Liam followed up.

“Jessie’s always been a toe-muncher,” Grace said, giving the woman’s bare legs a light tickle, smiling at her foot-eating antics.

Watching the grown woman slurping away at her own toes, a line of drool working its way down the rough sole of her bare foot, something in Ethan’s mind began to come back to life. He looked at Timmy and didn’t feel quite so superior anymore. He was a dumb little boy, but how much better was Ethan? They were both being talked down to by the grown-ups, but they were both bigger than their Mummies. Could that be right? Weren’t little boys supposed to be… little?

His head spun and he felt suddenly sick, like he might vomit or pass out. He blinked hard and thankfully the awful feeling passed as quickly as it had come on.

But as the feeling receded the world seemed to come back into focus. It had somehow lost its shiny new feeling. The sights and sounds of the A&P Show had dulled. Everything seemed a bit more boring and mundane. But at the same time Ethan experienced a clarity of thought that felt astounding. It hit him that Claire wasn’t really his Mummy of course. She was just a woman he’d been interested in. And Liam wasn’t his brother, he was a student, a mentally challenged man in need of constant care. And yet Ethan had spent the day so far playing with him as an equal.

Liam looked himself over, taking in the silly cartoon print t-shirt, the juvenile board shorts which held no wallet or keys and finally the dirty bare feet. He became distinctly aware of the feeling of the grass poking between his toes. Just a couple feet away Timmy’s feet look just the same, Liam’s too. His eyes flicked to the women’s smart looking shoes and he began feeling sick again. Everyone who saw him would think he was just another intellectually impaired boy like Liam and Timmy, like the toe-sucking girl in the pushchair.

And Claire had suggested he take off his shirt too, like the man on a toddler leash, the man currently blowing raspberries and hopping from foot to foot for no reason. Was that what she wanted Ethan to end up like?

The last few hours were a bit blurry, but Ethan recalled enough to know something was very seriously wrong now. And he knew that staying with Claire was also a very bad idea. She had something to do with all this, obviously. He started to back away silently, but Liam called out, “Where you goin’ Efan?”

The two women turned to him instantly. “Sweetie, we’ll get your ice cream in just a second I promise. I just thought it might be nice to set up a playdate for you two and Timmy.”

“He too widdle!” Liam complained.

But Ethan didn’t care about play dates. He just wanted out of this. “Sorry Claire, I… I gotta go…” he stammered out, the spun on his heel and walked quickly away before they could say a word.

“Ethan wait!” Claire called out, but he ignored her, just walking faster.

 

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