Bothered and Bewildered

Chapter 4
Chapter 4

I woke up groggy. Where was I? I looked around the bedroom, and had no idea where I was. This wasn’t my room. All my stuff was in it, but I had no idea where it was. This was wild. "Mom?" I called out. "Dad?"

They were dead. My parents were dead, I remembered that, but.... Aunt Julie was taking care of me. I spent the night with my cousin Josh - no my brother not my cousin. But where was I now.

There were clothes on the floor by the bed, but they were way too big for me. I walked over to the closet, and I did find a pair of cut off jeans that fit, and a t-shirt. I had to get to work. What work? I was still in school. Wasn’t I? I checked my watch. It was Saturday, so I didn’t have work or school. Even better.

Someone knocked on the door.

Still barefoot, I walked down the hall in the direction of the knocking. I looked at myself in the mirror, and shrugged. I didn’t look any different. I was thirteen - no, nineteen. I opened the door and looked up at a lady I knew, but not from where.

"Hi, I know you. You’re Kimberly, aren’t you?"

"Yes, that’s right. But who are you?"

"I’m Evan. I live here, I think. I did. I don’t remember."

"It’s real," she said, and sounded shocked. "Oh, Evan. I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you. You do look so adorable. I know where you live, really. Do you want a ride home?"

"Yes, please. I’m not sure why I’m here."

"We can sort that out later, after you get your shoes on."

I followed the lady to her car, and wondered who owned the car already in the driveway. There wasn’t anyone else home except me. There was a guy in the driver’s seat. He stared at me.

"Who’s this?"

"Jimmy, you remember Evan. He’s Julie’s oldest boy."

He shook his head. "Evan, but.... Oh, right. But we were picking Evan up and he isn’t a kid."

"I’m thirteen. I’m not a little kid."

"No, you aren’t. You’re thirty-five freaking years old. What’s going on here?

Kimberly waved her hand, and Jimmy sputtered. She said, quietly. "Don’t upset the boy, sweetheart."

"Oh, right. Sorry, Evan. I - I guess I was thinking of someone else."

"That’s where I know you from," I said. "You’re in Mom’s co... club," I said as Kimberly sent me a scathing glance.

"Yes, I am. Jimmy, you know the way over to Julie’s, don’t you?"

"Sure. Hop in, kiddo, I’ll take you home."

The ride home was longer than I thought. By the time Jimmy pulled into the driveway, my clothes were feeling looser. I started to hop out of the car.

"Say, weren’t you older when we started this trip?"

I glanced upward, and sighed. "Yeah, like I’m the amazing shrinking kid. I’m eleven."

"But you were thirteen a moment ago."

"I wish," I said, then looked at Kimberly. "Thanks for the ride."

Mom opened the door before I got halfway up the walkway. "Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah," I said with a shrug. "Kimberly’s nice, but that guy, Jimmy?" I shook my head.

Josh stood in the doorway, staring at me. "Who are you?"

"Well, duh, you’ve only known me your entire life. I was only gone one night."

Josh face turned bright red. "Mom, this isn’t what I wanted. I asked for a big brother, you know, one that could help me and take me places, not this little punk."

"Hey, who are you calling little, you little twerp?" I said as I pushed my way inside.

"Mom, you promised," Josh said.

"You don’t understand. This is the only way I could do it. Now is not a good time to talk about this, Josh." She walked through the door after me leaving Josh to bring up the rear.

"But he was perfect yesterday when he was nineteen. That’s the brother I wanted."

"Oh, right," I said. "I’m perfect now, isn’t that right, Mom?’

"Yes, you are, sweetie. You’re my first boy, and always will be. Josh, we can talk about this later."

"Yes, Josh, shut up, why don’t you?" I said, sweetly. "Can I watch cartoons?"

"It’s ’may I’, and yes, you may."

"You’re just the goddamned baby sitter," Josh growled at me, through clenched teeth.

"Mom, did you hear what he said to me?"

"Josh, how dare you. Do you want to be back in diapers?"

"He needs one for his mouth," I commented.

"That goes for you, too, mister. I could make you twin brothers this time around, so stop it, both of you."

"You promised you’d never do that to me again," Josh said with his arms crossed over his chest. "Can you fix him?"

"He is fixed," Mom insisted. "Josh, this is your brother, Jeremy, don’t forget that. He’s eleven and going into the sixth grade in September."

"That’s no fair. No fair at all. Why can’t I be the older brother for a change?

Make him two, and you can have the joy in potty training him."

"That’s enough," Mom yelled. She pointed her right hand at me.

I fell over, with my hands touching the carpet, and promptly felt my whole body shift as I turned into a chair, a comfy chair with overstuffed pillows and everything.

"He can still hear us," Josh said.

"I don’t care. He won’t remember this afterwards. Look, Joshua, what you want isn’t possible every single time. You are the child in this relationship...."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Mine, okay? But you’ve made me pay for that over and over again. I can turn you into a chair for the rest of eternity; so, don’t get out of line again, young man."

"I want an older brother. I need someone to stick up for me, and to help me with homework and all that good stuff."

"Tough. You think it’s easy taking a sweet guy like Evan, and turning him into someone else? He really liked you. Remember, his first thought when we met was getting you out of that bar? There are consequences to making changes like that. I know, you found out the hard way. But this change wasn’t just for you," Mom said firmly.

"What do you mean?"

"We needed Evan out of the way so Kimberly could take his job. His friend Jimmy is giving up his job to me. I need someone here that can baby sit you, and who will not be able to remember his old self. Evan at nineteen could, even at thirteen he had some idea things were wrong. Jeremy is your brother, and that’s all he can remember.

"So, Joshua, that’s the way it’s going to be. Do you understand that? I don’t care if you were once my husband, you are not now."

"I’ll break the spell on him. Then what? I don’t care if Kimberly gets his job or not, and what do you need to work for? You have my money," Josh said in a loud whine.

"Yes, I do, but the sisterhood is looking for far greater power than we have. We need people such as myself in positions of power. I can work up through the corporate ladder until Kimberly and I can take over the company. This is going on all over the world. The sisterhood will rule this planet, don’t ever forget that. If we have to get rid of every male to do so, we will. Don’t forget, I can make you grow up again as a girl."

"Well, how wonderful for me. Wouldn’t you get worried that I might turn out to be a witch, too?"

"You can’t grow any older than eight, and the power doesn’t come in until puberty. Nice try."

"What do I do with Jeremy, then? I don’t want to spend my life playing little brother to a real kid. He doesn’t know he was a grown up now. You’ve made him a sixth grader, and an eleven-year-old brat. Turn him younger, please. I can handle someone four or five, but not him."

"But you aren’t old enough to baby sit anyone," Mom said with a sigh. "He is old enough to watch you, and put you in your place, too."

"You can hire a baby sitter. That wouldn’t kill you, either."

"I’ll think about it. Jeremy, you can get up now."

I shook myself out of the chair. "Man, that was wild. May I watch TV now?"

"Yes, you may.... Come on, sweetheart. Mommy will help you," she said. I turned, and blinked. I shook my head, and stared again at how big everything looked. I was eleven, no three, no.... "Please Mommy?" I asked.

"Do you need a change?"

"No, Mommy. I’m not wet."

"That’s my sweetheart," she said. She picked me up and hugged, then gave me a big kiss on my cheek.

"What about me?" Josh demanded.

"Are you wet?" Mommy asked.

I laughed. "He’s a baby, too?"

"Yes, he is, but a big baby. Are you happy now?" she asked him.

"I was going to be.... No, not that again. Okay, I can handle this," Josh said, with a grumble.

"Make sure that you do, and stop whining. Your little brother and I are going to watch Sesame Street. Aren’t we, sweetheart."

"Yay! I love Big Bird."

"I know you do."

 

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