A Little Amusement

Chapter 4
Magic Ending, Magic Beginning

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Chapter Description: At the end of a complicated evening, four-year-old Lindsay grows up... in more ways than one.

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Sara wheeled the stroller into what was fast becoming their favorite bathroom, lifting the bawling Lindsay onto the Koala Kare table.

“No! These are for babies!”

“Sweetie, we can’t clean this accident up in the big girl potty. I need you to lie down and hold still for me, OK?”

“Why are you talking to me like I’m four?”

“Because...I mean... sorry. I didn’t realize I was.”

“OK, so now what am I gonna wear? And how are you gonna clean... THIS?”

“Well if you’ll hold still, I’ll show you.”

Lindsay calmed down, but only because she felt like she had to.

“I’m going to clean you with these,” Sara said, producing a travel pack of Huggies wipes from her purse. “And then we’re going to put you in this.” She pulled out a clean Pull-Up.

“You brought more?”

“In case you had an accident in the parking lot, before we could get inside.”

“But wouldn’t I have just taken care of that myself when we got in here and you changed me back?”

“I guess I didn’t think about that. I just know how embarrassed you were when you had your accident earlier today, and I didn’t want you to have to go through that again.”

“You have got to be the best friend in the world.”

“Because I’m always looking out for you?”

“No, because you’re about to wipe my ass with a baby wipe the thickness of a Kleenex, and you haven’t even said ?Eww’ yet.”

“Yeah... but I’m definitely thinking it.”

Sara ripped away the sides of the Pull-Up and did just what Lindsay had told her she was about to do. Three wipes later, Sara was satisfied with her work and lifted Lindsay back off the table by her underarms, dangling her feet until they touched the floor. She gingerly folded the old Pull-Up back onto itself, picked it up off the table and threw it on top of Lindsay’s wet jeans in the steel trash bin. She washed her hands, picked up the new Pull-Up from the stroller seat and held it open for Lindsay.

“Do I need to say ?Step in,’ or do you know what you’re doing?”

“I knew what I was doing before.”

“Then why haven’t you stepped in yet?”

“I didn’t know you were ready.”

“That’s why I say, ?Step in.’”

Lindsay did. Sara pulled the Pull-Up between her legs. “Maybe you’ll have better luck with Belle than you did with Cinderella.”

“Sara, come here,” Lindsay motioned for her to bend down.

“What for?” Sara said, leaning over. Lindsay kissed her cheek.

Sara picked her up to place her back in the stroller. “OK, what was that all about?”

“Because you’re so awesome. And because I’m four, and I can get away with it.”

Lindsay didn’t see Sara’s smile as she wheeled the little girl out the door in her stroller. For the first time since noting the admission rates at Wal-Mart, Sara unfolded the park brochure.

“The clown maze is at the other end of the park,” she said.

“What is it with you and clowns?”

“They creep me out. But in a good way.”

“There’s a good way to be creeped out?”

“I guess. Like, I don’t feel like they’re going to kill me... but I also know they’re not trying to make me laugh like clowns are supposed to. It’s creepy.”

“Whatever you say.”

The walk across the park took 20 minutes. Sara might have made it in 15 without the stroller. Not that she was complaining; it certainly was the first time today that Lindsay hadn’t. The line was long, but hey, it was for clowns! Sara and her stroller dutifully took their place at the end of it when she looked down and realized why Lindsay had been so quiet...sometime during the stroll, the toddler had fallen asleep.

Sara wished she had a blanket to pull up over the little girl...she looked cold. But Sara decided that was only her imagination...after all, how can anyone *look* cold, short of chattering teeth and hanging icicles, like in the old Warner Bros. cartoons. However, Sara knew there was one thing she could check for sure. She gently raised the right legband of Lindsay’s Pull-Up with two fingers, pressing them against the dry padding inside. Lindsay stirred, but her eyes were still shut.

“Ma’am?” The park official was wearing a flashing glow necklace.

“Yes?”

“I’m afraid there are no kids under ten allowed in this maze. Do you have someone you can leave your baby with?”

“She’s not a baby.”

“Yes, ma’am. Your child. She’s under ten. I’m afraid we can’t allow her on this attraction.”

“She’s not my child.”

“My apologies. But I’m afraid we still can’t let you take her in.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I love her like she was my child.”

“I understand completely. My youngest sister was adopted.”

“Well, she’s not adopted, either. She’s sort of... she’s just a very special person who I love with every ounce of my heart and who I can’t imagine what my life would be like without her. I just... I love her so much. I love taking care of her, making her smile when she feels helpless... I’d do anything for her.”

The guard smiled. “Yes, ma’am. Just not in the maze, OK?”

Sara stepped out of line and pushed the stroller back toward the entrance, twenty minutes away.

“Sara? Where are we going?”

“Linds, you fell asleep!”

“Yeah, well, I’ve done a lot of growing...and ungrowing...today. I guess it takes a toll on the body. So where are we going?”

“Home.”

“Did you go through the clown maze already? Did I miss it?”

“No, you’re not allowed.”

“Sara, go in the clown maze! I’ll be fine!”

“And leave my four-year-old daughter outside in a stroller? I think not!”

“Pssht. You’re not even OLD enough to have a four-year-old daughter.”

“The security guy thought I was.”

“What security guy?”

“The one who threatened to arrest you for making a puddle on his pavement.”

“That never happened.”

“Did too!”

“Prove it.”

“He gave me his handcuffs. I remember distinctly because they match the ones I keep under my bed.”

“Shut up! You’re so bad!”

“I know. He threatened to spank me because of that.”

“And you didn’t let him?”

“Oh, no, I did.”

“And?”

“And now I need to go somewhere so I can take a picture of the handprint he left. When they match it up, I can sue for millions!”

“Do I get any of your millions?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you slept through the whole thing.”

* * *

The stroller return was much easier than the rental. In fact, all Sara had to do was lift Lindsay out of the seat and let the attendant roll the stroller back behind the counter. She stood Lindsay on the ground, and they walked out the exit gate again.

“Do you want me to carry you back to the car, your highness?”

“No, I can walk.”

“Do you need me to distract you?”

“From what?”

“From the big wet chunk of concrete we’re walking over right now.”

“It’s not still wet!”

“If you look close, I’ll bet you can still see wet spots.”

“No you can’t.”

“Maybe it’s just my imagination. You aren’t peeing again, are you? Let me check your diaper. Maybe there’s something about this exact spot that makes you lose control.” Sara raised the back of Lindsay’s ruffles and stuck her hand down the back of the Pull-Up. “Nope, dry as a bone.”

“It’s not a diaper, Sara. It goes on like panties.”

“Does it feel like panties?”

“No.”

“Does it feel like a diaper?”

“How am I supposed to know what a diaper feels like?”

“It feels like what you’re wearing.”

“Whatever.”

Sara helped Lindsay out of her witch’s costume for the last time on the passenger seat of the Jetta.

“And now for the ceremonial final undiapering of Lindsay Sloan! May we have some undiapering music, please!” She provided her own. “I think a change...a change would do you good...would do you good...a change would do you good, oh, I think a change...”

“Sheryl Crowe must be rolling over in her grave.”

“She’s not dead.”

“She would be if she heard you butchering her song.”

And then Lindsay was naked again. Sara held her hands as she grew back into her twenty-two-year-old self and then handed her a bag.

“It’s the right one this time, I promise.”

She turned around as Lindsay dressed, but was surprised when instead of hearing ?You can turn around now,’ she felt someone grab her from behind. Lindsay squeezed her around the waist and spoke into her left ear.

“You’ve been awesome today. I totally hate you. And I totally love you. And you can turn around now.”

Sara did as instructed, just in time to see the dark patch growing down the legs Lindsay’s new jeans.

“Lindsay! Oh my God! Are you peeing?”

“Maybe.”

“You mean you can’t tell? Oh my God! Something must have gone wrong with the spell! My powers don’t usually wear off until midnight on Halloween! But maybe they get weaker in the hours leading up to that! Lindsay, I’m so, so sorry! Here, let me youth-anize you again...I mean, not that...I mean...you know what I mean! Let me grow you back up and see if you get your potty training back! If not, I promise I’ll re-potty train you, no matter how long it takes!"

“Sara, honey?” Lindsay smiled, squeezed her friend’s arms and gazed into her soft brown eyes. “Do you know what I think we should do?”

“No....”

“I think we should get in the car, and I’ll sit on a bag. And since you don’t want any accidents in your car, I think maybe we need to stop by Wal-Mart on the way home and find some diapers that fit me, grown-up Lindsay. And then I think you need to take me out of my pants and my big-girl panties and put me back in diapers until we’re completely sure that I’m not going to wet my pants again. By accident... or on purpose.”

Sara’s eyes were as damp as Lindsay’s jeans. She hugged her...maybe more than...best friend.

“I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you, either,” Lindsay whispered. “I love you with every ounce of my heart, too.”

 

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