Beginnings

Chapter 2
Ready for Bed

Chapter Description: Lucas tries a new bedtime routine.

Later that evening, preparations were well underway. Lucas had a late class and wouldn’t be home until after nine. Tonight was to be the first experiment with our previously agreed upon bedtime scene. I wanted to make sure that everything went as smoothly as possible, especially as I was planning on introducing some new elements to our dynamic. The rattle of the door handle alerted me to his arrival.

“Hey, Lucas. How was class?” I asked.

“Oh, you know. Boring as usual, um, I guess.” He began to take his shoes off.

“I didn’t finish the reading in time, so I had to pretend to understand the second half of the lecture. I don’t think I missed out on that much. I don’t think that Schopenhauer guy really wanted to be understood anyway.”

“Yeah? Well, where there’s a will there’s a way, I suppose. I bet you’ll get it soon. Want to just hang out for a while?”

He finished taking his jacket off. “Sure. I wasn’t planning on getting any of my work done tonight. Might as well procrastinate with you.” He grinned. He was a very good friend, but he was also adorable.

For the next hour we shared silly videos on YouTube, talked about how school was going, and our need for the upcoming spring break. Throughout the conversations about what series to binge on Netflix and who was going to spend more time asleep, he tried to stifle a yawn. The tone of our relationship changed instantly.

“Are you tired, big guy?” I asked, receiving a half-smile-half-nod in response. “Well, let’s get you ready for night night.” He blushed at my terminology. “You’ve already had your bath, so let’s get your pajamas on, ok? I have some new ones for you.” I took his hand and led him off the couch and to his room. I already had everything spread out on his bed.

He stared at his new night time attire with a bit of hesitation. “Let’s get your clothes off, ok? Here we go, bud,” I said, as I began to pull his shirt over his head. I quickly moved to undo his pants when he spoke up. “Do you think all of that is necessary? I mean, I guess I wasn’t expecting all of, well, that,” he motioned at the bed. I figured he would put up some resistance to the diaper. “Do I think it’s necessary? Well, maybe for not all little guys, but definitely for my kiddo. I want to make sure you keep your new jammies nice and dry. Speaking of, do you need to go potty now?” I asked as I had him step out his underwear.

He was now completely naked. Very much flustered, he shook his head back and forth and looked for something to do with hands. My kiddo was so adorable. He really wasn’t into the whole jaybird thing, which made it just slightly more endearing.

“Ok,” I said, “Let’s get your diaper on.” I spread a towel out on his bed and unfolded the Abena M4. I grasped him by the upper arm and guided him to sit down on top of the open diaper. With a light push, I had him on his back looking up at me nervously as his naked body was entirely exposed.

“Shhh,” I whispered over and over quietly, “It’s ok. We’ll be done soon.” I had him lift up his hips so that I could arrange the diaper more evenly under him. I then grabbed my bottle of baby power and began to lightly sprinkle it over his groin. I neglected to use any kind of lotion or cream; I figured we’ll work our way up to getting used to that kind of touch.

“Can you bring your knees up to your shouders for me, bud? So I can powder your bottom?” He gave a low groan of embarrassment, but did as I asked. I could tell this was making him feel more little than he ever imagined. I shook a few puffs of powder over his bottom and into the back of the unfolded diaper before having him lower his legs. I pulled the front of the diaper up over his waist, and tried to make it as a even as possible. I wasn’t well practiced in diapering, let alone someone my own size. I taped the bottom tape on the right, then the left, then both on top. With a light pat to the front of his diaper, I announced, “There, my little guy is all protected. Now, jammy time, ok?” He gave a light nod of assent.

The pajamas were a one piece flannel sleeper set that I had purchased about a week ago. He looked at them with a blank expression, but the tiniest of smiles was beginning to form right at the corners of his mouth. “How do you like these, bud? I got them for you.” He grabbed me tightly in a hug. I took in the sudden warmth and gently rubbed his upper back. “Let’s get you dressed before you catch cold.” He let go of me and I helped him up off the bed. These pajamas had buttons from the chest to the crotch. I steadied his shoulders as he stepped into the legs, and then I pulled his arms into the sleeves. I methodically fastened every button starting at the bottom and working my way up. “You look adorable in these,” I said. He looked at the ground and then up at me. “Thank you for all of this,” he whispered. “No problem, kiddo,” I responded, and wrapped my arms around him in a proper hug.

“Now,” I said, “there’s only one more thing to do before bedtime.” A confused look came across his face. I took his hand in mine and led him out of his room back toward our couch in the living room. “You sit still while I go get your bottle ready.” I laughed my way out of the room as he turned a bright red. In the kitchen, I lightly warmed up a regular baby’s bottle of milk. I had yet to get an adult version; all in good time. This bottle held about 6 ounces, which was good enough for now. I tested the temperature on my wrist. Finding it satisfactory, I grabbed a hand towel and made my way back into the living room.

“Here we go, kiddo. Come lay your head up against my lap.” I sat at the edge of the couch and propped up a few pillows for his head while he situated himself. He laid down and rested his head over my lap and against the pillows. He looked up at me with a combination of love, hesitation, and vulnerability. Being fed, especially being fed a bottle, was going to be a very intimate experience for both of us. “Open up, champ. It’s just milk. Here,” I said as I held his head in the crook of my arm, and maneuvered the nipple into his mouth with that same hand. He hesitated, but took it. His eyes looked up at me, almost as if asking for permission, asking if it was safe. “Go ahead, tiger, “I encouraged. His first few sucks were irregular and slow and I wasn’t sure if I had ever seen a human face turn a deeper shade of red. “Good boy, good boy,” I softly cooed. He took on a more even tempo and slowly the milk was being drained. As I fed him with my left hand, my right hand started to lightly make circles over his stomach, alternating with some slight pats.

We sat there for a while. I continued to make reassuring noises and he made recurring brief eye contact before quickly looking away again. All too soon, the bottle was empty. I took away the bottle with the removal of the nipple creating a soft pop from the suction. Although it was unnecessary, I dabbed at his mouth with the wash cloth. He wrinkled his face up. “Here, bud. Let me hold you.” He looked a bit confused, until I had him sit up and I arranged myself cross-legged on the couch. I guided him to sit on my lap and wrap his legs around my waist, resting his head over my shoulder. I could feel his diaper supporting his weight comfortably. With his arms around me, I began rubbing his back. Rubbing soon turned to patting, as though I was burping a baby. With one hand holding the back of his head against me and the other hand patting his back, I continued whispering affirmations into his ear.

We sat there for maybe ten minutes. I wondered if he had fallen asleep. “Tiger? Hey, bud, you awake?” He murmured

affirmatively. “Now it’s time for bed,” I whispered. I slowly brought us both to stand up. With one hand on his back and the other on his shoulder, I guided him slowly back to his room, his diaper crinkling lightly. He laid down in his bed, and I pulled the comforter over him, making sure to tuck in the sides. I sat on the edge of his bed and leaned over to him. “I love you, kiddo,” I said as I kissed his forehead.

“I love you too,” he mumbled tiredly. “Thank you for, for all of this.” He shut his eyes, a content smile on his face.

“Thank you, bud, “I whispered as I got up off of his bed and left the room, making sure to turn off the light and leave the door open a crack. I was filled with a giddy warmth as I made my way back to the couch. I loved my kiddo so much. What new things would the future bring for us?