Forever

Chapter 1
Whole Story

Warnings: Contains some m/m sexual content and nudity.

Forever

After building an online relationship over a period of months I was finally taking the biggest step. I was going to meet the man who had become my online “Daddy.” It wasn’t an easy choice to make. Daddy, and that was the only name I knew him by, had told me all about the life he wanted me to live. It was in which I was utterly dependent on him for everything, where I truly needed him because I didn’t have the mental ability to care for myself. He would control every aspect of my life from what I wore and what I ate, to when I used the toilet.

Before I could meet Daddy I’d had to take a slightly smaller but still frightening step. I had to go to a professional hypnotist who Daddy apparently knew. It wasn’t at his office or anything. Frankly I doubted the guy had an office or anything so reputable. Instead I’d just had to go to his house. Naturally I had been skeptical but I gave it my best for Daddy. And to my utter surprise the man, he called himself Dr Mesmer, was actually pretty good at what he did.

The first time I went we just worked on getting me to relax enough to go into a light trance. I was still aware of everything though. The second time he dropped me in and out of a light trance over and over, made my hand float, made me forget the number six, basic stuff like that. Then he gave me subliminal message tapes to listen to while I slept from then on. In the third session he dropped me much deeper and from then on I couldn’t recall anything about our actual sessions. My memory was blank from the moment I rang his doorbell to when I found myself sitting in my car outside, three or four hours later. We had seven more sessions after that.

But despite the lost time I didn’t feel any different. But Daddy assured me the hypnosis was working, that I was going to be his dumb little baby boy. And then he told me it was time to meet in person, that he had bought me a plane ticket and if I wanted this to continue I had to drop everything and get on the plane tomorrow. It was a stunning order. It was my fantasy come true of course, but it was also terrifying. What if it worked? The idea of actually being reduced to a retard dependent on Daddy for the rest of my life was undeniably erotic and horrific at the same time.

And yet the next day I got in my car and drove to the airport, parking in long-term and boarding the flight. I was shaking with anticipation the whole flight there. Then we landed and I found myself walking into the arrivals hall, looking for Daddy.

It didn’t lake long to spot him. He wasn’t alone. He’d told me about the boy he already had, about his desire to give his baby a brother to play with, someone his size physically but just as intellectually impaired. And there he was, Danny, the boy who was to be my brother apparently. He was sitting on the linoleum floor, wearing a grey t-shirt and some jean shorts. But he was barefoot and the soles of his feet were black with dirt.

But it wasn’t just his bare feet that gave away his special status. Despite the fact that he appeared to be well into his twenties, the fully grown man was on a leash, a set of toddler reins. The black harness was clipped around his chest, and Daddy was holding the leash. Danny didn’t seem to mind being seen this way in public. He was sucking on two of his fingers, a line of drool spilling down his chin, pushing a plastic toy train back and forth between his legs.

“Hello there Timmy!” Daddy called to me, waving me over.

No one had called me by that childish name since I was ten. Daddy used it in private with me, but I’d not heard it in public like this in twenty years. It made me shiver with arousal and embarrassment at the same time.

I walked over to Daddy, noting the furtive glances from other passengers. They all saw the retarded man on his leash. Some were probably disgusted, others pitying. They didn’t want to be caught staring of course, and many made an effort not to look at all.

Danny looked up at me as I arrived. His eyes were wide and innocent, his face slack. He didn’t look like he was playing a role, like this was an elaborate act. To my surprise Daddy pulled me straight into a big, crushing hug. I had to reciprocate, even though I felt really embarrassed.

Daddy could tell too. He whispered to me, “Are you blushing little boy? Are you feeling ashamed right now?”

“A little bit,” I whispered back.

Daddy chuckled. “Silly boy, you’re embarrassed now and you’re still all dressed up like a big boy. Just wait until you’re toddling along barefooted with your reins on! Of course by then you simply won’t know any better, so funnily enough you won’t be embarrassed at all.”

I gulped. “Really?” I asked.

Daddy gave me a big smile. “Well look at Danny, does he look worried about being seen like this?”

I looked back down at the young man sitting at our feet. His toy truck was discarded upside down on the floor now and he was sort of playing with his toes. No, he wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest. He was totally oblivious actually.

Daddy smiled. “Let’s get going,” he said, pulling the reins sharply.

Just like that Danny climbed to his feet. He was actually about the same height as me, five-foot ten, and a similar skinny build. I guessed he was maybe three years younger than me. While I was brown-haired Danny was dirty blonde, his hair cut quite short. That wouldn’t have been his choice though, clearly Daddy would have chosen his haircut. I thought about my shaggy hair. Daddy would probably cut it short too.

“Don’t forget your toy,” Daddy prompted him.

Danny squatted down and picked up the toy truck he’d forgotten. He held it up to Daddy and announced, “Gots my twuck!”

He was actually smiling and his diction was like a toddler’s. It didn’t sound forced though, it sounded natural.

Daddy patted his shoulder. “Good boy Danny,” he praised.

And then off we went. Danny hurried ahead of us, only held back by Daddy’s tight grip on the reins.

“He’s a curious, playful little tyke. It’s going to be tough for Daddy when you’re both on reins. I’ll have to be careful not to get dragged away if you catch sight of a doggy or something.”

I was going to be in reins too, just like Danny, charging ahead, oblivious to all the looks we were getting. It was too stunning to comprehend. It couldn’t really happen, could it? It felt like a dream.

It was sunny and warm outside and I wondered about how hot the pavement had to be under Danny’s bare feet. But he certainly didn’t seem bothered by it. He skipped along, humming to himself, singing nonsense.

“He’s a very happy little boy,” Daddy commented, noting my staring at Danny.

“Oh… yeah…”

“You will be too Timmy, I promise you’ll be just as silly and happy as him,” Daddy went on.

I nodded. “You aren’t worried about his feet at all?” I asked.

“No, no, those feeties are tough as leather. Little boys have no need for shoes, they just get dirty or lost. Bare feet get dirty too but Daddy can scrub them clean.”

“Does Danny have any shoes then?” I felt compelled to ask.

“Not anymore,” Daddy answered simply and I knew that meant he’d expect the same for me.

It was a strange ride to Daddy’s house. He made me sit in the back seat, next to Danny. The man-boy spent the ride singing along, very badly, to some nursery rhyme music, then playing with his toy truck again and then playing with his feet, pulling them back and forth and wiggling his toes.

I turned to him at one point and whispered, “Danny, how old are you?”

He looked over at me, still holding one of his filthy bare feet in his hands. “Dunno my numbas no more,” he told me.

I gulped. “You can’t count?” I asked him.

He shook his head. “Awll gone,” he explained.

“What about your ABCs?” I followed up.

He shook his head vigorously. “Dunno da A-bee-thees cuz I got siwwy.”

“You got silly?”

He nodded, smiling now, like this was something good, something happy and pleasant. “Danny goz siwwy fow Daddy. I go spefal school now.”

He went to a school for retards. Because that’s what he really was. It seemed clear now that he was not role-playing. And if I wasn’t sure then, it became certain when he proceeded to slip his mucky big toe right into his mouth to nibble on.

**

Daddy’s house was already set up for big toddlers. The whole place was toddler-proofed already. There were latches to stop someone opening even the upper cabinets. Of course they were ludicrously simple for an adult to use, but apparently Danny’s intellect was that low that they now stumped him.

One wall in the living room was covered in big glossy photos that Daddy had put up. They were all of him and Danny, or just Danny. Danny was sat on his lap, gazing adoringly up at his Daddy in one. Another showed the grown man playing on a beach, wearing just a speedo and a pair of comically large water wings.

One of them was not taken by Daddy though. It appeared to be a class photo from Danny’s special school. There seemed to be about a dozen young men and women in the class and four teachers or caretakers. It was obvious who was a teacher and who was a student despite the lack of any age difference. The glazed eyes and slack expressions were the most obvious of the differences. But the boys and girls were also wearing uniforms. It seemed to be a royal blue polo shirt with a crest was used for both sexes. They also wore an assortment of shorts and track pants, all in black. Also four of the twelve students were barefoot. Two young women in skirts, one thirty-something man in trackies and Danny, in his polo and knee-length black shorts.

All the rest of these people belonged in this school of course. They were actually intellectually impaired, probably from birth in most cases. And yet no one looking at the photo would pick Danny out as the one with a brain. Standing there in bare feet he looked more juvenile than most of the others. And he had the same vacant expression as the rest, nothing like the adult teachers.

“It’s a lovely school. The teachers are so caring, so gentle with the little boys and girls,” Daddy told him, noticing his focus. “They play with shapes and blocks, practise stacking, sing songs, finger-paint and colour. It’s all so much fun, you’ll love going there.”

I nodded and noted, “Danny’s not the only one who’s barefoot.”

“The uniforms specifies sneakers, sandals or bare feet are all acceptable. Some of the other parents don’t like sending their charges in bare feet, but in summer at least half the children turn up shoeless. I think they’re just adorable with their tootsies all free.”

“So I’ll be going there soon?”

Daddy nodded. “You’ll be starting tomorrow actually. They need to do testing, to determine what level you’re at.”

I shook my head. “I’m not sure I can keep up the act that well. What if they get suspicious?”

He had a good chuckle before explaining, “You won’t be acting silly-billy. By the time you get to school tomorrow morning you’ll be just as simple and silly as Danny. They’ll find you have the mental abilities of a two and a half year old and place you in the same class as your brother.”

My heart really started pounding then but at the same time my penis was tenting out my pants and my balls were starting to ache.

“Now come up and see your bedroom,” Daddy directed, not giving me time to question his shocking announcement.

He led me through to a large bedroom with a king bed. But this was not a nursery. No, it looked like his room.

“This is it,” he said. “We sleep right here.”

“We?”

He nodded. “Danny cuddles up with me every night, and now you will too!”

I had to fight not to moan out loud.

“So, we don’t have our own room then?” I asked.

“Oh of course you do sweetie, you just don’t sleep there. Come on, Danny’s probably already up there playing,” Daddy assured me, grabbing my hand and leading me along.

We headed upstairs and into another room. Sure enough this one looked like a little boy’s room. The walls were sky blue and there were toys everywhere. Danny was kneeling on his hands and knees, working with some Duplo blocks. He’d also lost his shirt at some point and I was intrigued to see how smooth his skin was, no sign of body hair at all.

Daddy walked over to him and gently rubbed his bare back, feeling the bumps of his spine. “What you playing with there baby?” he asked.

Danny looked up at his Daddy with real awe. “Got Wegos,” he answered, holding a bright red one up.

“Very cool,” Daddy enthused. “And what colour is that one?”

Danny grinned. “Wed!” he announced.

Daddy chuckled. “That’s right! What a clever boy!”

Danny giggled gleefully.

“I see you lost your shirt already tiger. You ready to show Timmy how to jaybird?” Daddy asked the giggling boy.

Danny recovered from his giggle fit and nodded happily.

“Okay then, off they go,” Daddy declared, reaching down and gripping Danny’s shorts and undies at once and yanking them swiftly down his legs and slipping them clear of his feet.

I hadn’t expected that at all, at least not so suddenly. Just like that Danny was completely naked, his smooth tanned bare bottom facing me. Then he twisted around and his penis was just hanging there soft and smooth and hairless between his legs. He didn’t mind being nude though, he went right back to his Duplo blocks.

Daddy patted his bare bottom though, cupped it and smiled. “Baby boy loves being a jaybird. He runs all over the back yard giggling his head off at being a nakey boy, at how his pee-pee jiggles. You’ll love it too.”

Daddy stood up and moved closer to me, looking me over. “I think you’re ready to join Danny now, aren’t you sweetie?”

My stomach dropped. “Now?” I barely managed to say.

He nodded. “Look at him, all silly and nakey playing with his toys. Don’t you want to join him, get down there on your hands and knees, all naked and dumb for Daddy?”

I couldn’t help but let out a little moan this time. Daddy nodded and went on. “You haven’t had any stickies in a three days have you?”

The question confused me at first, but then I realised he was right. I shook my head. That was odd though, I usually masturbated daily. But he was right, I was near bursting now, my balls were seriously aching and yet I hadn’t touched myself down there.

“I know you haven’t sweetie, because you’re here, you’re still having a conversation with me. You still have that spark of intelligence in your eyes. If you’d cum, if you’d had your stickies that would be long gone. That’s why it was so important you get here quickly,” he explained.

“I don’t understand,” I told him, utterly lost now.

“After your last session with the hypnotist he gave you the final trigger. When you cum, all that programming he gave you will be activated. You’ll squirt out all those big boy thoughts, all your intellect and maturity will be smeared across your tummy for Daddy to clean up.

“If you’d said no to Daddy the trigger still would have been there. Another part of it was that you couldn’t touch yourself, so I knew you’d wait. But eventually you would have had a wet dream and all those big boy thoughts would have been gone forever but without a Daddy to care for you. They’d had thought you’d had a stroke and stuck you in some institution.

“But thankfully you made the right choice, you came to Daddy and now you can have your lovely release.”

There was no way out. It was a devastating realisation. The trigger couldn’t be turned off so even if I backed out and left I’d eventually lose it all, be a total retard. My penis, already rock hard, twitched in my pants.

Daddy nodded. He could see the tent in my pants twitching, pulsing.

“You need that release very badly Timmy. It’s going to feel so nice, so wonderful. I watched Danny have his, it was a hundred times better than an orgasm.”

I did want it, but I also wanted to hold off. Danny was bored of his Duplo blocks. He was sitting on his bare bottom now, that smooth penis floppy and exposed as he once again sucked on his own toes, gazing at us with total innocence. I still couldn’t imagine actually being like that.

“How long?” I asked.

“It’s very fast buddy. Your creamies won’t even be dry on your tummy and you’ll be sitting there next to Danny showing him your doodle and having a nibble on your own tootsies,” Daddy assured.

“No, no, I mean, how long does it last?”

Daddy looked a bit confused for once. Then he put a warm hand on my shoulder and said, “Oh sweetie, you have to understand, it’s forever.”

I blinked. “What?”

“There’s no reversal trigger honey. Once you do your squirts that’s it. You’ll be a special boy. You’ll truly need Daddy for the rest of your life.”

I shook my head. That couldn’t be true, could it? What about when I got older? What if Daddy got tired of me?

But Daddy wasn’t giving me time to think. He undid the button on my shorts, slipping his thumbs into the elastic waist of my undies and slipping them and my shorts down. My pulsing erection waggled free, standing straight up in the air.

“My goodness, what a happy doodle!” Daddy declared.

I shook my head. “Please wait…”

But Daddy wasn’t going to wait. “You need to do your creamies Timmy. We need to get them over with. Then you can play with your brother, have a nice lovely cuddle.”

And Daddy reached down and gripped my penis in his closed fist. It felt amazing. I grunted in pleasure. Danny looked up from the floor and giggled, letting his toes slip free of his mouth. “Him doin’ stickies!” Danny announced.

“That’s right!” Daddy agreed, then turned back to me and said, “Let’s show Danny how many stickies you can make Timmy, show him what a silly boy you are.”

And he began to stroke it up and down smooth and vigorously. It was amazing. But I couldn’t let him do this to me, I couldn’t let this happen. I still had all my intellect now, I was still capable of walking out the door, getting to a doctor or the police or…

Three days without release had built up a huge reserve in my balls. He had only been stroking me for a few seconds when I felt it, a surge of pleasure and release. I gasped and grunted as I realised in horror that it was about to happen and I had no ability to stop it.

A spurt of cum erupted from my penis and splashed against my chin. “Ugh! Ohhhh!” I went as more spurts followed the first. And then came a sense of peace and total elation. He was right, it was a million times better than a normal orgasm. Because I knew what was happening, I knew that it wasn’t just cum leaving my pee-pee, it was all my big boy smarts, every single thing that made me a grown-up. And it felt sooooo good. I leant into Daddy’s arms and felt so perfect and safe as my body bucked and sent more creamies onto my tummy, his nice warm hand still squeezing my penis, urging me to get all the cummies out.

“That’s it baby, make lots of stickies for Daddy,” he urged.

And I did. I made so many stickies.

And then it was done, the stickies were all out and Daddy gave me the warmest cuddle and I knew I’d done it just perfectly.

**

Daddy isn’t with me now. He left me here. It’s a school. Daddies don’t go to school. Little boys go to school. A grown-up lady holds my hand and leads me down a hallway. She asked me a lot of questions first. They were tricky and boring and I didn’t like them. But now she says we’re going somewhere fun, somewhere with more boys and girls who will want to play with me. I’m nervous about meeting them.

The ladies shoes go click-clack on the floor. I look at her shoes as we walk. Click-clack, click-clack, click-clack. My feet don’t do that because I’m not wearing any shoes. Daddy packed my shoes away. Little boys don’t need them. I like how the floor feels under my feets. It’s smooth, but sticky. This morning when we went to the car the ground was gritty but warm. I like having bare feet.

The lady opens a door and we go into a big room. There are other boys and girls here. One of them is Danny. He’s my brother. They’re all wearing the same shirt as me. Some of them have shorts like mine too. Some of them have bare feet like me. Danny has bare feet. I almost try to count how many others have bare feet. But that’s silly of course, I don’t have any numbers. Little boys don’t have numbers.

The lady asked me how many fingers and toes I had. I looked at them real hard, but I didn’t have any numbers for her either. But I showed her how I can wiggle them. I like my toes because they’re wiggly.

“Well hello there! I see we have a new gentleman in the class. What’s your name honey?”

This is a different lady. Not the one who is holding my hand. I feel a little shy and I suck on my thumb. That makes me feel better. “Timmy,” I mumble around my thumb.

“Well hello there Timmy, I’m Miss Collins and I’m your new teacher. Come with me and I’ll introduce you to the other children.”

Miss Collins takes my hand and tells the other boys and girls that I’m a new classmate. They all say hello. I’m too shy to say hi back. Then Miss Collins helps me choose some crayons so I can draw a picture for my daddy. I like her. I like drawing.

**

Two Years Later

Danny and I are playing in the back yard. We play there a lot. I crouch down and feel the grass tickle my bum-bum and the tip of my doodle. I like how that feels. I love being a nakey jaybird. There’s ants crawling over my toes. I giggle and smoosh them. Icky ants. I stand up and walk over to where Daddy is sitting with another man. I don’t know him. They’re having grown-up talk. I’m too little to understand that.

“You’re absolutely sure about this? You understand it’s permanent, totally irreversible,” the strange man says to Daddy.

“Of course I know that, just look at Danny and Timmy,” Daddy says. I recognise my name. I smile and look at Daddy but he isn’t looking at me. I want Daddy to look. I hop up and down and my pee-pee is all flappy, silly doodle.

“If you’re really sure, okay then,” the man tells Daddy. Then he does something funny. He snaps his fingers by Daddy’s ear and Daddy goes night-nights! Silly Daddy is having a nap and the other man is sort of cuddling him, whispering to him.

I sit on my bum-bum, heehee, tickly grass on my bottom. I rub my feet across the dirt, feels nice. I like my feet. I like toes. I grab my foot and look at my toesies. They’re all dirty. I put my big toe in my mouth and suck on it. That feels nice.

Danny runs past me. I let my toes go so I can chase him. It’s fun to chase brother. I can run faster than him. I catch him and we wrestle.

Daddy finished his nap. He gets up and does something really funny. He undoes his shorts and takes them and his undies and pushes them down to his ankles. And his doodle is all happy. Daddy never goes nakey in the yard. That’s only for beddy byes. Only little boys can go nakey in the yard. But Daddy walks over with his happy doodle all out and bouncing around.

“Daddy nakey!” I shout. “Siwwy Daddy!”

He smiles and says, “That’s right Timmy. Daddy’s being very silly. In fact, Daddy would like to be silly all the time from now on. Would you like that? Would you like it if Daddy was a silly boy too?”

I giggle, that does sound fun. “Uh-huh! Daddy be siwwy,” I agreed.

He nodded. “Okay, then help me sweetie, help me be simple and silly just like you,” he urged, reaching out for my hand.

He takes my hand and guides it to his pee-pee and I understand. Daddy needs stickies. Daddy gives me stickies in the yard so I know just what to do. I rub his doodle up and down, over and over. Daddy starts panting really hard. He grunts and shivers. I rub and rub, even faster. Daddy opens his eyes and looks at me and says, “I love you so much Timmy and I always will. But I… I just need to do this…”

I don’t really understand. But I rub Daddy more because I see he likes it. I’m helping Daddy. I love to help my Daddy.

Daddy looks into my eyes, he looks so proud of me. And then his eyes roll up and he gasps and stickies squirt out of his pee-pee. There’s one squirt, then another and more and more. They go all over. I keep rubbing his pee-pee, helping them all get out. They go on my hand and arm too.

The stranger man comes over and stands beside Daddy while I finish his stickies. I wonder if Daddy will be upset. Daddy only does stickies in bed where no one else can see. The man looks down at the stickies still squirting out of Daddy’s doodle.

When the creamies are finally all out Daddy’s eyes open again and he smiles. “You gibbed me stickies!” he says.

Daddy sounds silly. He sounds like Danny and me. He tells the strange man about the stickies, scoops some off his tummy to show the man. “Lookit da cweamies!” he says.

The man nods and asks, “Are all the big boy thoughts gone Benny?”

Daddy seems to think for a second then giggles and nods. And the man takes Daddy’s shirt off. I think Daddy will get angry at him. But no, Daddy is happy. He’s all nakey like a little boy, but he likes it. And then Daddy starts to run all over the yard, giggling and rolling in the grass and I understand that Daddy is little like me now. Daddy is a silly nakey jaybird just like me and Danny. I think that’s the bestest thing ever!

 

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