Last Feast of the Barbarians

Chapter 1
The Final Feast

Across a near barren field, silence was broken only by the howling wind and the march of an army led by the frightening barbarian, Ja’rail. The strength of Ja’rail’s barbarians became something to be feared. Making a name for themselves for their unstoppable and continuing charge through the villages in the countryside. The only ones he trusted to keep his army in line were his lieutenants, the best fighters in his army, but each had their problems.

“Just saying we should have burned them instead of letting them go. Would have made a good meal too,” the hairy wild man exclaimed with a drooling smirk. Ja’rail appreciated and made great use of Skar’s ferociousness when it came to any fight, unfortunately this led to questionable moments of animalistic rage and cannibalistic tendencies.

“Keep that slobbering tongue in your mouth, you idiot! Having to deal with your mindless ramblings is one thing, but we’re certainly not eating flame-broiled farmers.” the annoyed woman spouted. De had joined Ja’rail’s raiding party mainly just a good fight and a portion of the spoils from the raids on villages.

The two would butt heads and argue like it was a contest who could get under the other’s skin more. Neither had killed the other despite the how close they’ve come to clashing blades, however he feared that the lack of food and heated argument might change that.

“Hey at least we would have had food for everybody instead of starving like we are now.”

Though Ja’rail didn’t want his army to become cannibals, Skar did have a point. They had been marching for days now, and without food soon they all might just keel over.

“Hey I seem some huts over there!” one warrior exclaimed.

Ja’rail and his lieutenants looked and could see the outlines of huts out in the distance. With a glimmer of hope filling at least some of their empty stomachs, they marched to hoped to have a roof and food to have for the night. As they drew closer they could see that the village seemed abandoned, the huts seemingly empty and decrepit.

“No signs of an attack. No bodies either, so they didn’t just starve and die,” Ja’rail thought.

Making way into the middle of the village, they could see a large hall before them that seemed out of place, as it was adorned with lit torches for one and more importantly the aroma of food carried through the cracks of its sealed doors and windows.

“I don’t care if there’s a whole platoon of soldiers on the other side, we’re going to to eat tonight, men!” Skar exclaimed, rushing to the door with a handful of soldiers.

Ja’rail probably should have stopped him, considering it was well thought to be a trap, but at this point even a loaf of bread would bring some joy to this night. Hell, not even De uttered a word in protest to Skar. Using what remaining strength they saved, they threw the doors open to reveal a banquet, a long table filled to the edges of food and drink. At the end of the hall was a group of servant girls and a hooded man. Upon hearing the doors open, the hooded man looked up and spoke.

“Ah, it seems the ‘Barbarian army of Ja’rail’ has finally come to the doors of my hall,” the hooded man proclaimed.

“I am Ja’rail, yes, but where are the people of this village?”

“They villagers heard your army was getting ever closer here, so they decided to pack up what they could and leave.”

“Then why didn’t you and your wenches leave with the rest of them?”

“At my age, I wouldn’t be able to make too long of a trek. However, with the help of my servants, I can at least gather up a feast that can keep even an army sated, maybe even enough to spare us humble hosts.”

The hooded man’s words only brought a bit of confusion to Ja’rail, sparing wouldn’t come to mind if you heard about what his army had done. Why would he think feeding them would bring any kind of peace to them? As he contemplated the hooded man’s offer, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Ja’rail, I don’t know about this. Something about this old guy seems off. Let’s just see if we can scavenge food out of the empty huts and get out of here.” De suggested.

De made a point, but he knew if his warriors didn’t eat now they wouldn’t have the strength to even walk out of the hall. Ja’rail wouldn’t let starvation best his army, no, he will not let it best his army.

“Nonsense! I won’t have my army scrounge for food like rats when an entire feast lay before us! Men, sit and eat. We will stay here the night, so be sure to eat til you are satisfied.” Ja’rail roared.

The warriors yelled gloriously, pouring in droves to the table, devouring the food before them. Hesitant as she was, there was only so much growling and pain from her stomach that De could endure, reluctantly joining the others.

In the 10 days of what seemed like an endless march to even when he first made this band of warriors, Ja’rail was never happier than he was right now. The hooded man’s kindness and generosity was concerning, but it was a welcome invitation to the harsh wild that they had endured. Walking behind the benches whilst eating the platter of food he picked up, Ja’rail watched as his warriors purged the hunger resting in the pit of their stomachs replacing it with the pounds of nourishment in front of them. As he continued to do so, his eyes greeted to the sight of Skar hunched over a platter eating to his heart’s content.

Skar continued to shovel food into his face even as his leader stepped right next to him.

“Well then, this certainly beats roasted farmers, eh Skar?” Ja’rail laughed, giving Skar a slap on the back.

That one slap to Skar’s back caused his helmet to fall off. Skar paid no mind to it but Ja’rail was more concerned about what he now discovered.

His lieutenant didn’t have a head, only a black hole through the neck hole

Horrifically, Scar was still somehow grabbing food and stuffed it into the neck hole of his armor. His hands seemingly disappeared, feet following suit as his boots lay empty on the floor. What thing that remained of Skar continued to attempt to eat Ja’rail stood in horror watching one of his fiercest fighters disappear into nothing.

Skar’s armor laid empty in its seat.

Ja’rail looked around the table frantically, seeing the other soldiers in the same state. All of them were losing themselves to both their hunger and the curse upon this food. Some were already lost with their armor lay empty, other were headless like Skar was with some with heads half sunken, but most were flailing empty gauntlets to platters to consume to their last literal bite.

He looked for De, managing to find her head half sunken into her armor while her gloves flopped about eating greedily like everyone else, practically using her short arms as utensils. She continued eating even after her head fully sunk into her armor, the rest of her sinking into herself until her armor fell backward onto the floor.

Ja’rail rushed, soldier to soldier, with some hope at least one would stop to save their own self.

“Schtop eating yooph phools!!!” Ja’rail said with a mouth full of food.

Despite his attempts, none of his warriors listened. One by one his headless warriors continued to grab masses of food into their neck holes of their armor. Whatever was left inside continued to dwindle until the empty suits fell over, sprawled about the chairs, floor, and table until Ja’rail was the only one left.

He did his best to resist the temptation but he could only scream in the reaches of his mind, unable to vocalize his fear with his mouth full of the cursed food. Despite his gargled pleas, his body continued to shove food into his mouth. With each motion his body became smaller, following the same path as his army did. As his head plunged into the neck hole of his armor, he could feel the rest of his body caving into his armor, what remaining of him falling toward the floor.

At the bottom of a dark space, Ja’rail could look up to see light coming from a hole above him. With a bit of effort, he climb what seemed like a chasm of steel and cloth til his hands reached the edge of the hole.

Managing to pull his torso through the hole, Ja’rail could finally see again and figure out what happened. He still had a body he was small now that was for sure. He looked down on himself to see how much he had changed. His mouth dropped, his arms were sapped of muscle and his torso was adorned with a gut instead of the scars and abs that he boasted. His entire body was short and pudgy!

“Te hell?! I a sum pha dwawph?!” Ja’rail yelled in a lisp.

No, not a dwarf. With more thought, the lisp, soft skin, and hairlessness of his body made things much clearer. He was a baby.

As soon as he made this realization, he noticed the other suits of armor around him move. Small shapes crawled out of his army’s former garb and realized his barbarians were nothing more than babes like himself.

The hooded man made his way toward him, picking up Ja’rail and bringing small babe to his chest.

“I know your army’s little secret, Ja’rail. All the armor worn by your barbarians have a special enchantment that creates an invisible barrier around yourselves, making your warriors invulnerable to nearly anything. Instead of fighting, I found it much easier if you and your warriors did yourselves in,” the hooded man said.

“All the food your army ate contained two enchantments: one that made the food irresistable after a single bite and a powerful regression spell. You and probably a handful of your warriors realized what was happening, but it was too late. All of you could not resist to stuff your faces full of food til you had to literally crawl for it,” the hooded man continued gleefully.

“W..woo ah o..ou?” the infant Ja’rail muttered.

“Oh little Ja, I think you know me quite well. Do you know what my title is?” the hooded figure said as he removed his hood.

Ja’rail had experienced two great fears this night: watching his army fall helplessly in front of him and looking dead into the sunken glowing yellow eyes of the greatest scourge that ever walked over the fields of his enemies like blades of grass.

“Zracherndes the Ash Walker,” Ja’rail said with a fear so deep seated that not even an infantile lisp could stop him from muttering the monster’s name.

“Ah, how cute of you to remember me. Seeing you reduced to this almost makes up for the fact that you stole that little armor enchantment from a very good friend of mine,” Zracherndes brought the infant’s face so close that the yellow glow of his eyes radiated on the babe’s face.

“Almost, little Ja’rail.” Zracherndes said with a deep and menacing tone.

The grey skinned devil smiled, giving a small chuckle as he flashed the pale yellow daggers he called teeth the two canines of his lower jaw jutting out like sharp fishing hooks.

“But you, my little thief, are in luck.”

Zracherndes placed the infant Ja’rail at the end of the table while the group of hooded women did the same with the rest of the babes.

The grey skinned devil walked to the other end, placing an pale blue orb on the opposite table end of the infants while the women lined themselves along the table.

“You all want to be adults again? To be able to relieve yourself without shitting your britches? Well, now you’ll have to crawl your way back. Literally. Anyone that grabs the orb at the end of the table will be able to stand on two feet again. With that, you and any of your infant-ry back to your original forms, Ja’rail, and be free to continue your rampage of pillaging.”

Ja’rail didn’t believe that Zracherndes would let any of them, especially himself, go so easy. However, if it meant that he could at walk on two feet again, Ja’rail was ready to crawl for it.

As all the baby barbarians began to crawl toward the other end of the large table, the maidens gave mischievous smiles, removing their blouses and presenting breasts full of milk to the new babes.

The sight left all the babies in awe. A single breast looked bigger than any of their heads! All the babes then proceeded crawl toward a bare breast with gaping mouths, every single one disregarding the prized bauble they had soon sought.

He tried to resist, but everywhere he looked was his soldiers giving up their chance for adulthood for breastmilk. Ja’rail then felt himself being picked up and now face to face with a large nipple dripping with milk.

“Why don’t you have a drink, little one?” the maiden cooed.

His bottom lip quivered with a heavy thirst for the milk more than any ale or plundered wine. He closed his eyes and finally gave in, latching his mouth to the large nipple in front of him. Ja’rail’s face was full of shame and embarrassment but his belly was full of the warm, sweet milk that poured into his mouth. Each drop that touched his tongue, the more he was in ecstasy as he clung to the breast, never to let go.

The maiden feeding Ja’rail stood to the side of Zracherndes, watching the maidens starting to walk out of the hall with babes in their arms as the rest of Zracherndes’s servants gathered the discarded armor into a large bonfire.

“Surprised you didn’t tell him about the third enchantment in the food about the lust for breastmilk, my lord.”

“I’d rather him think he had too weak of a will to truly make himself a man again. He could quickly pick apart villages clean for their treasure, now we’ll see how long he can keep a diaper clean.”

“My lord, look!” another maiden exclaimed.

At the end of the table, was a naked baby girl clutching a blue orb, the sight bringing a surprised grin to Zracherndes’s face.

“So, what might your name be?”

“I believe this one was called…De, my lord.”

“Well, De, it looks like you were able resist a drink of mother’s milk.”

“Ou gwoona twurn meh bek?” the baby girl barked, despite the hint of fear in her tearful eyes.

“I respect my word, little one. You will get to grow back into your boots, slowly but you’ll be out of diapers much faster than the rest of your friends. I am certain of that.”

Zracherndes then grabbed a cloth from one of his maidens, swaddling the infant De and holding her in one arm.

“Prove yourself a bit more, my little baby barbarian, and once you’re out of diapers I might just have a place for you.”

The large bonfire roared as Zracherndes and the rest of his maidens proceeded to walk out of the hall that became the end of Ja’rail and his barbarians.

 

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