Good-for-Nothin

Chapter 1
Complete

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Chapter Description: An old college buddy appears with his hand out and ends up with something quite different than he expected

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When Rosemary heard Walt tell her that Buzz was coming to see them at the end of the month, she was clearly less than excited. Buzz was an old college friend of Walt’s. Friend, hah that was a misnomer she thought. Rosemary always thought of Buzz as a bit of an overblown selfish gin soaked loser. He was lewd, crude and always seemed to belittle Walt in snide underhanded ways. Walt, on the other hand, thought Buzz was one of his great friends from his college days. He had a blind spot when it came to Buzz, and only saw his young college buddy who was always up for a good time. Rosemary held no such illusions about Buzz. She saw his as leech on Walt whose amiable nature wasn’t able to see the truly grasping person, his friend actually was. She could just imagine how Buzz would react when he saw Walt and her since they had used the youth formula.

When Rosemary voiced her concern to Walt, he assured her that Buzz would assume that they only looked that way to healthy living. He went on to laugh that that was something that Buzz avoided at all costs. Rosemary knew that Buzz wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but even he wouldn’t be so naïve to swallow that. It was best to be prepared, she decided with a nod of a head as she looked at the two young children playing on the floor of the kitchen. Johnny got up unsteadily on his two feet and wandered away from his toy cars over to her, his hands outstretched to be picked up. Rosemary easily picked up the growing toddler and placed him on the side of her hip.

“You’re getting to be so big!” She said as she placed a kiss on the little boy’s forehead.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sure enough, in a few weeks, Buzz appeared in all his dilapidated glory at the front door of the country house. A moment after the door opened, Walt and Buzz grasped each other in an old brotherhood embrace.

“Buzz!” Walt exclaimed as he slapped his old friend on the back in welcome. Buzz was wearing a tired looking golf shirt that floated sloppily around the sizeable gut he currently sported around his middle.

“Walt! Great to see you, old man!” Buzz said, clearly impressed as he looked at Walt up and down. “You’re looking fit! What are you doing?”

“Oh, Rosemary has me on this whole regime. Less stress, holistic living, high nutritional foods…it has really taken the years off me.” Walt said slightly abashed.

“Well, it’s working. You don’t even look as old the last time I saw you over ten years ago.” Buzz gushed as his eyes traveled enviously over his old friend.

“Let’s just say it’s the country air. Come on in.” Walt stated as he held up his arm to allow his friend to enter the house.

Buzz’s face maintained a pleasant smile that did not travel up to his eyes as he was led through the country house. He complimented Walt on his spread as his eyes traveled hungrily over the lifestyle that Rosemary and Walt had accomplished. The pair of men meandered through the house until Walt slid open the patio door at the rear of the house.

“Come on. We’re having a barbeque for you tonight at the pool.” Walt announce

“A pool! You are living large.” Gasped Buzz as his eyes widened at Walt.

“Gotcha! There’s a pool, alright.” Walt said with a laugh as he slapped his friend on the shoulder as he guided him through the door. “One of the finest inflatables on the market. The kids are playing in it out there with Rosemary.”

“Oh yeah! You got kids now. Way to go, you old stallion” Buzz said as he looked over at Walt who was closing the door.

Walt laughed in response. Shaking his head, he added. “Come on. I’ll introduce you.”

Walt walked over to the edge of the brick patio with Buzz. Rosemary was lying back in lounge chair on the grass wearing a large billowy cotton blouse with shorts. A few yards away, there was a small blue green inflatable pool sitting on the grass with two small children noisily splashing with bursts of giggling.

“Everyone. Look who’s here.” Walt announced to the group on the lawn. The children stopped splashing and looked surprised at the new visitor. “This is one of my best old buddies from college. His name is Buzz. You know, buzz like a bee! That’s Christy and Johnny in the pool. And of course, you remember Rosemary. I’ll go get us some beers. Rosemary?”

“I’m fine.” Rosemary stated as she sat up to her adjust herself in the chair and smiled at Walt.

“Hi Rosemary.” Buzz uttered as he bewilderedly stared at the incredibly young looking woman leaning back against the back from the lounge chair. Becoming aware of himself, he tore his eyes away from Rosemary and looked at the kids in the pool. He had always gotten the feeling that she didn’t like him very much. In college, it really irritated him that his friend Walt ended up with such a prig. It always gave him a certain amount of glee to make that little pinched expression of disgust appear on her face back then.

“Hi Buzz. How are you?” Rosemary asked as she looked away from the children in the pool. Her eyes traveled over his greasy sparse hair plastered over his head, the double chin that was all that remained a defined jaw line that had been consumed by a large mass that used to be a neck, the bloodshot and bleary eyes, and the humongous gut he was sporting. Yeah, she could have foretold this would be the result of the road he was just starting down over thirty years ago. When she had first met Buzz, he had not been a bad looking young man. He was an athletic yet insecure young man who liked to boost his bravado with a bottle. He was immature enough to think that to make an ass of himself made him popular, when it only made him an ass. She remembered that he never seemed to honor any manners; he was always grabbing something that wasn’t his. He was always jealous of Walt’s easy going affable nature; it seemed to bring out a mean petty streak in him. On more than one occasion, he had tried to undercut or diminish Walt’s achievements in Rosemary’s presence. If he didn’t leave such a bad taste in her mouth, she would have felt sorry for him.

“I’m fine. It looks like you and Walt have got the proper happy little family here.” Buzz grinned, tilting his head toward the pool where the childish squealing and splashing had resumed.

“They’re a blessing to our lives.” Rosemary admitted as she looked lovingly at the two children playing.

“So, uh, I guess they’re adopted, right?” Buzz muttered as he looked at the two children. “I mean you and Walt have got to be out of the baby making business for a couple of years.”

The smile dissolved from Rosemary’s face as she heard the pointed jab in Buzz’s comment.

“Oh, you’d be surprised at what you can do, if you put your mind to it.” Rosemary said with grim look in her eyes that was not betrayed in her happy tone.

In another moment, Walt appeared at Buzz’s side holding out a longneck bottle of beer. The two men raised their beers in salute to times long past and took a long swig. It was a pleasant evening. Walt barbecued ribs and chicken and two hot dogs for the children. Rosemary cut up the hot dogs into small pieces and corralled the two children out of the pool. Wrapping each in a large beach towel, she guided them over to the picnic table where they sat like two papooses, one hand holding the towel and the other picking up pieces of hot dog and watermelon and stuffing them into their mouths. Before long, Rosemary had disappeared to put the two little ones to bed, leaving the two men sitting together at the picnic table.

“You got yourself a nice little setup here.” Buzz said as he took another swig of beer.

“We like it. I tell you, I never envisioned that Rosemary and I would be so happy.” Walt boasted

“You’re a lucky man. I mean you and Rosemary have never looked healthier and young.” Buzz said as he grabbed Walt by the shoulder and gave him a few playful shoves. “Come on, it has gotta be more than just eating right and deep knee bends.”

“Well, maybe. I mean Rosemary doesn’t want me to tell, but since we’re such old friends.” Walt said, looking over his shoulder for Rosemary. He then turned and leaned forward. “Don’t tell anyone. It’s a potion.”

“A...a potion?” Walt stammered pulling his head back in surprise. “You mean, like facelift in a bottle?”

“No, nothing like that.” Walt chuckled. “The potion literally takes the years off.”

“You’re saying that you’re really young again. That’s not possible.” Buzz gasped, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Take a look. Do you see any gray hairs, any crow’s feet? I look exactly how I did when I started my practice.” Walt admitted to his old friend.

Staring hard at his old friend, Buzz finally opened his mouth and a single word escaped. “Wow!” It was immediately followed by a string of excited yelling. “You’re sitting on a gold mine! Does anyone else know about it? Do you know how much money you could make with such a thing?”

“Hey, calm down, pal. Rosemary and I aren’t into that kind of thing. We’re just happy to have our own piece of paradise right here out of the public eye.” Walt waved his hand to get his friend to lower his voice.

“What? You’re gonna to keep it to yourself? You gotta be kiddin me! There are people out there willing to pay almost anything to be young again!” Buzz exclaimed. “You got any idea how much they would pay to get their hands on this!”

“Rosemary and I aren’t interested in money. We’re perfectly happy with our lives as they are.” Walt confirmed holding up his hand to stem his friend’s excitement.

“Well, I am. Give it to me. I’ll sell to the highest bidder. It could really help me out of my present circumstances.” Buzz greedily asked. He suddenly looked uncomfortable as he continued. “You see, I was going to ask you for a loan. It seems that I made some bad bets with the wrong people. They’re becoming very insistent on being repaid. I was hoping that you could loan me the amount until I get on my feet again.”

“You’re still gambling? I thought you gave it up years ago.” Walt asked aghast. “I remember you vowing that that was all behind you.”

“I did. It was only a few bets. I have the worst luck. Anyways I had a tip, it was supposed to be a sure thing and pay off big. Wouldn’t you know it, it all fell apart! I ended up owing these mobster types six digits. They’ve given me till the end of the week to pay them. If I don’t…” Buzz grumbled and shifted his eyes around. Then he looked into his friend’s eyes and appealed. “That’s why the timing on this potion thing is so perfect. All I have to sell it and no one would be the wiser.”

“Buzz, I like to help, but I don’t think Rosemary would approve the sale of the potion just to get you out of a gambling debt.” Walt warned as he sadly shook his head at his friend’s predicament.

“Screw Rosemary. Who’s the man in the family? “Buzz yelled as he slammed his fist on the table. “I am going to end up in a cement coffin because you’re too whipped to go against Mommy. Grow a pair, will ya? She was a controlling old priss in college and I see it hasn’t changed.”

“Hey, that’s too far. That’s my wife you’re talking about.” Walt announced with an edge of anger in his voice. “If you can’t be respectful, I think you just better leave.”

“I’ll leave when I damn well want to. Listen, you better hand over that potion or...” Buzz snarled across the table.

“Or what?” Walt leaned forward, narrowing his eyes at Buzz, daring him to finish the sentence.

“You and Rosemary have your own little garden of Eden here, don’t ya? What do you think will happen when I tell the press or better yet the government about how my friends suddenly seem thirty years younger? I got nothing to lose. I’m a dead man.” Buzz threatened with a grim twist of his upper lip. “Do you think you’ll be able to keep those kids? You got a lot more to lose than me.”

“You gotta lot of nerve. Coming here, threatening my family.” Walt snapped back at Buzz as he jumped from the table.

Buzz sat back stunned as his old friend towered over him. Blinking, he put his head in his hands. “Believe me I don’t want to.” Buzz confessed to the table surface. Pulling his head from his hands, he looked up at Walt and added. “If I wasn’t so desperate, I would be glad for you; but desperate times…”

“God, man! What happened to you?” Walt said, shaking his head with astonishment.

“Stinking hellish life happened. I have always gotten the bad breaks. I was the unwanted baby of the town slut, foisted upon a mentally unstable grandmother to raise. For all my childhood, I was the subject of town gossip of which of the many disreputable characters in town could be my father. I missed so much school dragging that crazy old drunken bird of a grandmother out of the street that I barely graduated. Every school day, I sat there, hoping the other kids would have leftovers from their lunchboxes so I could get something to eat. I watched my playmates being dragged away by their family members because my sheer existence was a bad influence. As I got older, I learned that making myself the butt of jokes was the only way to be accepted in that town. If I could have just gotten one break...just one. Now, to wrap it up into a neat little package, the mob wants their money which I can’t pay.” Buzz ranted. He stopped and pleaded with his old friend. “I don’t want to hurt you, but you’re holding a life preserver out to a drowning man. Come on. Just help me this one time.”

Suddenly, Rosemary appeared at the patio doors holding a large coconut cake in her hands. On top of the fluffy white icing covered with coconut there was a bright red maraschino cherry with the stem arching up temptingly. The men instantly shut up and sat back from the table, looking uneasily about.

“Ta da! In honor of your visit, Buzz, I made a coconut cake for dessert. I remember how you always liked it when they served it in college cafeteria.” Rosemary said blithely as she approached the table and placed the cake on the table between the two men.

“Yeah, looks good honey.” Walt said turning his face away hoping the flush from his heated discussion was not evident on his face.

“Oh, darn. I forgot the desert plates and the coffee. Would you help me, Walt?” Rosemary asked, as she situated the cake directly in Buzz’s line of vision. “Come on, it’ll just take a minute.”

Walt got up from the table and Rosemary followed, she looked back over her shoulder at Buzz from the doorway.

“We’ll be right back.” She smiled at Buzz

A minute or two later, Rosemary came through the doorway carrying the dishes and forks, while Walt followed with a tray holding a coffee pot and some cups. Rosemary beamed when she looked at the table where Buzz was sitting. She took a seat next to him as Walt set down the tray in front of her. Walt sat across from Buzz.

“So, what were you two talking about when I came in?” Rosemary said as she pulled the cake over toward her to cut it into slices. She perched the edge of the knife into the white expanse of icing covering the cake and pushed down.

Walt looked uncomfortable, as did Buzz. Summoning up his reserve, Buzz cleared his throat and turned to Rosemary beside him.

“Rosemary, Walt told me about your potion. I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t desperate. I’m in a lot of trouble with some very dangerous people.” Buzz confided. “I need you to give some of that potion. Just a little. I think I can sell it.”

“You’re funny, Buzz. A potion? What on earth are you talking about?” Rosemary asked as she looked quizzically at the man sitting next to her. “Walt, what have you been telling him?”

“I might have said something about it…” Walt confessed as he shrugged his shoulders in a noncommittal way under Rosemary’s gaze.

“Come on, Rosemary. You only have to give me a little. Just enough to sell one dose.” Buzz countered

“And then what, Buzz? You’ll be back here again, begging for another dose to get you out of trouble the next time.” Rosemary wheeled about on Buzz as he sat there. Buzz shrunk back in the chair as the vehemence from Rosemary’s eyes took him by surprise. “I don’t think selling the potion is the way to fix your problems, Buzz.”

“Look Rosemary, I owe some dangerous people a lot of money. They’re going to come after me. I need to make some money quick.” Buzz said as he slumped back against the back of his chair, sighing with regret.

“Buzz, I understand your reasons for wanting me to give you some of the potion. The fact is that I already have.” Rosemary said melodically, as she placed a piece of coconut cake on a plate.

Walt suddenly looked up and caught Rosemary’s eye. She gave him a knowing smile as she handed him the dessert plate with a piece of cake.

“You see, Buzz, I was listening to you and Walt’s conversation from inside the house. Yes, I guess I am controlling when it comes to my family. I won’t let anyone hurt them, not even you. I counted on your old habits still being just as strong.” Rosemary continued as she picked up a coffee pot and began to fill a cup. “I hoped I didn’t grin too big when I saw that you had swiped the cherry off the top of the cake. I remember how you used to steal all the maraschino cherries off the cut pieces of coconut cake in the college cafeteria. I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist such a perfect specimen. That was why I put it directly in front of you.”

“What are you saying?” Buzz asked as he clumsily rolled his head against the back of the chair.

“I’m saying that I filled the cherry with the potion. You should be feeling very relaxed right now.” Rosemary simpered as she handed the cup to Walt, who slowly grinned at his wife’s trickery. “It would just be a matter of time before you slipped our secret to someone else. I really don’t think that I want to take that risk. Even if you don’t, I can’t have you turning up on my doorstep every time you need money. I have the perfect solution. I don’t think you’re going to have to worry about the mob finding you. You’re going to have a totally new outlook in a few hours.”

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A barely illuminated ceiling was hanging over him when Buzz opened his eyes. He was so tired, his eyelids felt like they were weighted down with ten pound weights. He felt the urge to shut them again, but he wanted to find out what had happened. He pulled his arm over to rub at his eyes, but it swung by, missing his face and retracting into his chest in response. He seemed to be having some problem with his coordination. His limbs seemed clumsy and uncoordinated. He tried to sit up but his body did not respond. Was he drugged? Where was he? He turned his head to see where he was, but only saw a sheet covered surface. In the room’s half light, he could see a barrier around the bed he was lying on. Following it with his eyes, the cloth covered barrier seemed to tower over his head. It surrounded the mattress he was lying on in an oval shaped pattern. He unconsciously made a sound of confusion as he looked at the strange contraption he found himself in.

A silhouette appeared in the light of the doorway. Buzz did not notice it until it was hovering over him.

“I see you woke up.” Rosemary said as she looked down at him.

Buzz moved his head to focus on Rosemary. His eyes became huge as he took in her imperious presence looming over him. He opened his mouth to talk, but found that his tongue was just as resistant to his control as the rest of his body. It rolled around behind the gums like a large mass, filling his mouth.

“Come here, baby.” Rosemary said as she leaned over the bassinet and gently picked up Buzz in her arms. She sat down on the edge of the king size bed in the room, cradling the small infant in her arms. “I don’t know if you can still understand me, Buzz. You’re my little baby boy now. I heard what you told Walt about how you had to grow up. I am so sorry about the turmoil of your past life. This time, you’re going to be loved and cherished. You’re not going to have to scrape and battle for your existence. Just consider all that horribleness to be another lifetime, which literally, it is. You’ve got a new life and a new family to love and support you now.”

Buzz lay there, staring up at Rosemary with a stunned expression. It was impossible what she was offering he thought. Buzz shifted in her arms as he brought his arms backup to his chest. It was also what he had always wanted a new start, a life without the bad breaks.

Rosemary shifted the baby in her arms as she adjusted the collar of the sleeper down under the baby’s chin. “This is a new start for all of us. I think we should start with a new name. I never thought Buzz was too auspicious a name, anyway. Maybe, I should keep the B. Let’s see, a name starting with B…Ben. Mommy’s baby is going to be Ben. Do you like that?”

Buzz opened and closed his fists as he began to relax slightly in Rosemary’s arms. Ben seemed like a nice name. Name? What’s a name? He was having trouble thinking like an adult. It was so nice to be held in these warm comfortable arms and listen to the nice soothing voice flowing over him. Despite the quickly dwindling opposing voice in the back of his head, he began to form his body against the large soft comforting body holding him. The sensation of being held, safe and cherished was so nice, it began to drive all the unpleasant adult thoughts out his mind. Swimming in the overwhelming seductive feelings of being nurtured and protected, he jerkily turned his head instinctively toward her chest and began to root.

Rosemary seeing the reaction, smiled as she began to unbutton her shirt. She had anticipated this would be the result of Buzz’s visit a few weeks ago and started taking hormones to promote milk production. With the children getting older, she had begun to miss having an infant in the house. It was really the perfect solution. Walt would keep his old friend around. There would be no threat of exposure to the world. Buzz’s problems would disappear along with his despicable old habits. And their family would gain a new addition in the form of baby, Ben. She hummed as she pushed aside her unbuttoned shirt and opened her nursing bra.

“Mommy is going to take care of everything.” Rosemary murmured as the baby Ben’s mouth fastened on her areola.

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A week later, a dark sedan came up the driveway of the country house. A large man in a dark suit stepped out of the car. He adjusted his sunglasses as he took in the charming family scene. Walt was pushing a preschool age little girl on a tricycle who was unsuccessfully keeping her feet on the pedals. A toddler boy was squatting flat footed as he busily bashed toy cars against each other with an industriously serious expression. Several yards away on the grass, Rosemary was lying on her side with her head propped up on arm while the other stroked the back of a naked infant which was lying on an open diaper on the blanket. The baby, who appeared to be a couple of months old, reared his head while arching his back and kicked his little legs in response to her touch.

The man walked around to the front of the car. Walt approached the man with a curious look as he walked towards him.

“Can I help you?” Walt amiably asked as he took a few steps in front of the little girl, who continued to sit on the tricycle, staring at the stranger.

“Yeah. I’m a detective. The name’s Smith.” The man held up his wallet and flashed a metal shield. “I am looking for a Buzz Lomax. I understand he’s a friend of yours.”

“Sure. We saw Buzz. Oh, I guess it must have been about a week ago.” Walt answered as he pondered the situation. He then turned and called to Rosemary. “You say he’s missing? Honey, what day did Buzz come for dinner?”

Rosemary sat up slowly from the blanket. She leaned over and pulled the diaper around the adorable infant as she picked him up and cuddled him to her shoulder. She picked up a baby blanket that she draped around the small body in her arms. She ambled toward the two men as she patted the back of the baby against her.

“It was the twenty ninth.” Rosemary said as she stood next to Walt. Walt wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist. “Is there something wrong?”

“It seems that he unexpectedly disappeared.” The man said grimly. “There is a belief that fowl play might be involved.”

“Oh my!” Rosemary uttered.

Upon hearing that particular voice, the adult mind inside baby Ben instantly became aware. Buzz slowly turned his head and looked fearfully at the severe looking man. A blustering explosion of whimpers escaped the baby’s lips which were immediately quieted by Rosemary bouncing, patting and shushing the baby.

“What makes you think fowl play was involved?” Walt asked, wrinkling his brow in apparent puzzlement. The little girl got off the tricycle and went over to wrap her arms around her daddy’s leg as she looked at the stranger.

“His car was found abandoned in a ditch by an old railroad tracks a couple of towns over.” The man said matter of factly.

“Well, he did seem distressed when he came here. He asked for a loan and then went off in a huff when it was denied.” Walt explained. Raising his hand to his head, he continued. “We never heard from him after that. You don’t think that something bad happened to him?”

“It’s possible.” The detective responded.

Walt looked down at Rosemary, who was cradling the head of the baby under her cheek as she rocked him from side to side.

“You guys got a cute little family.” The man said as he looked down and winked at the little girl, who hid in her face against her daddy’s leg in response.

“Thanks. We like em.” Walt said affably.

“Who’s this little guy?” The detective tilted his head as he considered the baby in his mother’s arms.

“Oh, this is Ben. He’s got a little colic, so we’re out getting some sun.” Rosemary answered, as any proud mother would.

“Hey, Ben.” The detective whispered as he leaned forward to catch the baby’s eye.

The little girl suddenly interjected into the conversation. “Buzz like a bee. B is for Ben!”

“That’s right. Ben does start with a B” Walt said, smiling as he patted her on the back in congratulations. “We’re starting preschool soon.” He told the other man as he looked up.

Ben or Buzz as he used to be called closed his eyes and shoved his face into Rosemary’s shoulder as the man tried to capture his attention. He recognized Falamato. He knew he wasn’t a detective. He was part of the mob guys that were on the search for him. If they found him, they were going to kill him. His body trembled as he felt extremely vulnerable as he was completely nude with a diaper wrapped loosely between his legs. He began to retreat into Rosemary’s arm as he felt the wails building within him suddenly find release.

The so called detective suddenly pulled back as the baby began to cry. He gave an embarrassed grin to Walt and Rosemary for upsetting the baby.

“Oh, don’t be insulted. He’s not used to strangers and I think he’s hungry.” Rosemary said to the detective. “If you’ll excuse me, I am going to go feed him.”

Rosemary returned to the blanket a few yards away. Once she had sat down, she placed the squalling baby between her thighs as she adjusted her blouse. She leaned over and played with the baby’s fists as she whispered. “Shhh. You’re okay.”

Rosemary pulled up her blouse on the right size, exposing the bottom part of her breast. She carefully pulled the baby up from her lap to position him across her front. She pressed the nipple of her breast against the baby’s mouth. The baby instinctively opened his mouth and latched on, pulling substantial quantities of mile with each compression. Rosemary arranged the blanket around the baby’s lower half as she patted the little bottom while the baby contentedly nursed all his troubles away on a cloud of his mother’s milk.

Seeing that no more viable information was forthcoming from this blissful domestic scene, the detective thanked Walt and left. As he drove back up the driveway, Falamato was not happy this was his last lead on where that Buzz Lomax character had gone had turned out to be a bust. There were no clues at the abandoned car. He had no more leads to follow. Now, Falamato had to tell his bosses that Buzz had successfully managed to dodge them. They would not be happy about writing off the debt that Buzz owed them. He had never come across someone who was so completely gone underground. It was like he had disappeared from the face of the earth.

 

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