Radical Therapy

Chapter 1
Whole Story

The wipers swished back and forth as sheets of rain splashed across the windshield of Brian’s car. It should have been early summer by now, but spring seemed determined to hold on. Wind drove the deluge across the driver-side window, obscuring his view as he waited at a red light. Brian groaned, thinking about how the weather these days reminded him of his life. For so long now it had seemed a cloud was over him wherever he went. It wasn’t just the blues, wasn’t just sadness. It was the feeling that he would never be happy again.

They said it was a chemical imbalance, not his fault at all. But did that really make it better? Now he was depressed and felt he had no control over it at all. None of his friends really seemed to understand it. He had a good job in IT, he made relatively good money, so why wasn’t he ever happy? No, the only one who seemed to understand him at all was his therapist, Allie. She was the sole source of hope in his life. His weekly sessions with her were what got him through the week. The depression had robbed him of all his other hobbies and joys, taken away his appetite and made him sleep the weekends away, but there was at least one thing to look forward to. If only it wasn’t just one hour a week, and if only their relationship could ever be more than professional.

That was why Brian felt particularly impatient as he waited for the light to turn green. His appointment was in ten minutes and he was going to be late thanks to this rain and the inability of stupid people to drive properly in it. Brian released the brake briefly a couple times, letting the car edge over the line, anticipating the green. He was already rehearsing what he’d say to Allie in his head.

Having a crush on your therapist was supposed to be a big no-no of course, but how could he not be attracted to someone so beautiful who knew all his deepest secrets but didn’t judge him for them? Occasionally in their sessions Brian had an inkling that maybe she felt the same way about him. But he dared not act on these hunches lest he ruin their relationship.

The light turned green. Brian moved his foot swiftly from the brake to the accelerator and punched it down. The front wheels spun noiselessly and the steering wheel vibrated momentarily before he gained traction. Then he shot into the intersection ahead of the car stopped beside him. The wet roads meant he never even heard the screeching tires of the car barrelling through the red light and towards him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a flash of motion. He had only enough time to feel his heart leap and a shiver of anticipatory terror pass through his body before the Ford SUV slammed into his car side-on, right at his left front wheel.

There was a horrific, deafening bang as metal met metal. Brian’s airbag exploded, but his old Toyota had no side-impact airbags and his head was slammed into the window with a sickening crack. He felt fiery pain radiate upwards as his left arm was crushed against the door panel. The car spun ninety degrees in less than a second, lifting off the ground. The whole world tilted and the car slammed down on its passenger side, unleashing a hail of broken glass before it rolled onto its roof, sending a spider’s web of cracks through the windshield.

Brian was in a world of pain, dangling upside down from his seatbelt. He could feel warm, sticky blood trickling down his face and into his hair. His arm felt numb, yet still sent the occasional jolt of stinging pain. His left eye was either damaged, swollen shut or had blood in it from another wound. In any case he was half blind, the vision in his other eye blurry as his glasses has been knocked off his face by the impact. Brian could hear the sounds of car doors slamming, people getting out and hurrying towards the wreck, but their voices were muffled by the pounding rain. Looking through his ruined window at the pavement Brian could see nothing but the massive rain drops splashing across a glittering sea of broken glass. It seemed to be getting lighter out there, lighter and brighter...

**

The slow, steady beeping of a heart-rate monitor was the next thing Brian was aware of. Opening his eyes Brian was relieved to see that he had vision in both of them. It was blurry without his glasses, but no more so than normal. He was staring up at a white, clinical looking ceiling. He knew this had to be a hospital and that meant he’d survived.

“Oh good, you’re up!” a soft voice chirped from his left.

It was only then that he became aware he wasn’t alone. To his shock and great relief, Allie was sitting in a chair right beside his bed. She looked radiant as always, despite the sombre setting. Her long blonde hair was a bit messier than usual, a bit wet, revealing that she’d rushed here in something of a panic when she’d heard what had happened. Her face, full of concern now, was unblemished and without a wrinkle. She was 27 and her eyes showed maturity, while her face retained a certain youthfulness.

For a long moment Brian just stared at her in awe, then he finally managed to mumble a lame, “You came.”

“Well of course I did! You crashed just down the road from my office, we heard it from there and I recognised your car. Well, what was left of it. You’re very lucky to have survived that Brian.”

Brian nodded, inducing a sharp pain in his neck that made him grimace.

“Careful there dear, you survived but not without a scratch,” Allie warned.

Brian had to agree with that assessment. His left arm ached badly, though now it was dull rather than sharp pain. It was in a cast from fingers to shoulder. His neck was in a collar and he could feel tight bandages around his head.

“Have you talked to the doctor?” Brian asked.

“Yes, he said you were quite lucky. Your arm is broken in two places and you have got a concussion and a hairline fracture of the skull, but all in all the injuries are minor. Nothing life threatening and it doesn’t seem like you’ve suffered any real brain damage from the bump on the head.”

“I already had enough problems with by head to begin with,” Brian joked darkly.

“Don’t worry Brian, we’ll get those sorted out soon enough.”

Brian did his best to shrug, but then asked, “Say, how’d you get in here anyway? I thought they only let family in.”

“I said I was your sister. You don’t mind me being here do you? If it’s a problem...”

“No, no! You can stay of course. I was just wondering.”

Allie smiled gently. “I’m glad you trust me dear. Now, I have something for you,” she said, pouring a cup of water from the tray beside the bed and then placing two pink pills in a little cup beside it.

“What are those for?” Brian asked.

“They’ll make you feel better.”

“Are they from you or the doctor here?” Brian inquired.

“Me.”

Brian shook his head. “We already tried happy pills Allie. Remember, they’re really just ‘don’t give a shit’ pills.”

“This is something different. It will help your physical and mental problems. Please, for me,” Allie urged, giving him a hopeful smile.

Brian couldn’t refuse her with a smile like that. He took the cup of water and pills and downed them in one gulp.

“Good Brian, you’ll be feeling better before you know it,” Allie told him confidently.

He hoped she was right, but all he felt after taking the pills was intensely sleepy. In fact his vision seemed to be getting blurrier and his good arm felt unusually heavy. “Allie, what was that?” Brian slurred as his lips went numb.

“Shh sweetie, don’t fight it,” the blonde therapist crooned to him softly, putting her hand comfortingly on his good arm.

Brian didn’t understand what she was saying, he couldn’t focus on anything. All the sounds of the hospital grew more distant, seeming to echo and his vision continued to grow blurrier until everything again faded to whiteness.

**

For the second time that day Brian regained consciousness in a hospital bed. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been out this time. In fact he wasn’t sure how long he’d been out the first time either. He hadn’t actually seen a doctor yet. Waking up this time was different than before. Things somehow felt different, even before he actually opened his eyes. The pain was gone, completely gone. He didn’t feel the scratchiness of a hospital gown brushing across his skin.

The second Brian actually opened his eyes, he knew something really bizarre was going on. He was still staring up at a white ceiling, but it was now in perfect focus despite his lack of glasses. Somehow his eyesight had become twenty-twenty. He didn’t have much time to ponder that as the sound of a child crying somewhere nearby caught his attention. He looked around and noticed he was in a new ward. The walls here were painted bright yellow and in each of the beds was a small child. For some reason they’d put him in the pediatrics ward.

Brian pushed himself up to a seated position in the bed. Then he realised he’d just pushed himself up with his bad arm and there had been no pain. For the first time he examined his arm and noticed that the cast was gone and that he now wore a light green sort of hospital pajama top. In fact his arm looked really weird, too thin and short. Brian looked more closely at his hands, his eyes widening and heart-rate picking up with every second. Throwing back the covers on his bed revealed that the pajama bottoms were bright pink and the feet sticking out the ends were every bit as small and pudgy as his hands!

Shaking with fear Brian opened his mouth to scream out when a giant hand landed on his shoulder.

“Don’t be afraid sweetie, everything is okay,” came a familiar soft voice.

Brian looked up at Allie again, smiling down at him like something wonderful had happened. Couldn’t she see he’d been transformed into a child of some kind? How could she actually be smiling?

“Allie! What’s going on?” he demanded, gasping as he heard his voice. It wasn’t his voice at all. It was so high-pitched, so girlish!

“Just stay calm sweetie, this is all part of your therapy. I promised you I would make you happy again and that’s what I’m going to do,” she explained.

Brian shook his head, confused as to how turning him into a little kid could have anything to do with making him happy. “You did this to me?” he demanded.

Allie nodded. “Well you chose to take the pills honey. And they will do what they promised. If you hadn’t noticed they’ve already cured all your physical issues.”

“This isn’t what I’d call a cure! This is something else... I, I don’t even know what to call this!” he raged.

“Shh, keep your voice down please!” she urged, eyeing the adults a few beds down who were casting concerned glances their way.

“How is this even possible?” Brian asked, a bit more quietly.

“It’s quite complex in terms of the science. I really can’t explain it myself. Just know that it is temporary. I promise I have no plans to keep you this size. This is a radical new therapy, one that hasn’t been FDA approved I’ll admit, but I know it works and I wanted to give you the chance.”

“So what’s the rest of the therapy then?” Brian continued, though now sounding less angry.

“Look, I’ll explain everything on the ride home. You just have to trust me for now,” she said.

Brian frowned, not sure what was going on, but wanting to trust the woman he liked so much.

“Please, just for a little while,” she urged.

“Okay, what you want me to do?” Brian finally agreed.

“Just stay quiet while I take you out of here. They just think you’re a little kid being discharged to me. I’m taking a big risk trying to help you with this treatment Brian, please just work with me.”

Brian nodded and the next thing he knew Allie was scooping him up by his armpits, lifting him from the bed and onto her hip. He couldn’t believe how huge she looked now. In fact he couldn’t believe how small he felt now. He’d always been a big guy, six feet tall and well-built. Now the girl who’d been more than half a foot shorter than him before was actually carrying him around.

Being carried was a strange and yet comforting sensation. His little feet dangled in the air, his tummy was pressed right against her side and it was so warm.

Allie carried him out of the ward to the nurse’s station. A portly middle aged nurse looked up from a chart and smiled kindly at them, giving Brian a silly little wave. He felt so embarrassed by all this, but he kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want to get Allie in trouble as long as this was all just temporary, just therapy and especially if she was taking the risks for him.

“Oh, are we saying goodbye to little Brianna?” the nurse asked sadly.

“Yep, we’re headed back home.”

“Oh, and we had her such a short time. Well good luck to you,” the woman said, waving at Brian again as Allie carried them out the door.

Brian didn’t know who she was talking about. It sounded like she was talking about a girl patient, but the only girl here was Allie. But then, hadn’t she said Brianna? Maybe that was Allie’s cover-name. She was pretending to be his sister earlier after all.

They left the rest of the hospital without any difficulties. Apparently whatever cover story Allie had used it had been effective. Of course the place was so busy it would have been hard for anyone to take notice of a mother and her calm child. So Allie walked them right out the front doors and into the parking lot. The sky was still cloudy but the rain had stopped. For all Brian knew it might have been a day or more that he was out. He could have asked, but decided it was best to keep his mouth shut till they were safely in her car.

Allie pulled her keys out and unlocked her car with the remote as they walked up to it. When she swung open the door to the back seat Brian saw that she had come prepared. A child seat was strapped into the passenger side seat. Brian felt himself being swung about and set down in the kiddie seat.

“There we go, that was a snap wasn’t it?” Allie declared as she did up his seat belts for him.

“Geese Allie, you don’t have to do that for me, I’m not really a kid” Brian told her, trying to take the belt away from her.

But Allie slapped his hand aside. “No, we don’t take things from grown-ups,” she reprimanded him sternly.

Brian was taken aback. Where had this stern attitude come from? Why was she talking to him like a real little kid?

Brian pouted and gave her a wounded look. “What was that for?” he whimpered.

“You were getting in the way. Your safety is at stake here. You were just in a car crash, you should know better,” she replied without apology.

Brian felt like a silly little kid more than ever. Then Allie shut the door and went around to the driver seat. As he looked up front at her he caught sight of himself in the rear-view mirror. Brian gasped. Now he understood what was going on at that nurse’s desk. That wasn’t a little boy’s face staring back at him, it was a little girl! He had short blonde hair that was done up in pigtails with pink bows and all. No wonder they thought he was called Brianna. Admittedly he now appeared to be quite a cute little girl. The girl in the mirror had gorgeous blue eyes, wide and innocent looking, an upturned little nose and freckled cheeks. Nevertheless Brian felt betrayed and disgusted.

“Allie why’d you make me look like a girl?” he yelled.

“I didn’t make you look like a girl, silly,” she chuckled, shaking her head.

“But my hair’s in pig-tails!” Brian roared in his squeaky high voice.

“No, silly, you don’t just look like a girl. You ARE a girl. In fact you’re a pretty little five-year old named Brianna.”

Brian shook his head in dismay and looked down his crotch, snug below the seatbelt. He grasped the elastic waist of the pajamas and yanked them down, revealing My Little Pony panties. He yanked them away too and saw to his absolute disgust that he was lacking his favourite anatomical feature. Brian cried out in despair.

“Shh sweetie, that’s too loud for me,” Allie shushed from the front.

“You took my penis!” he screamed at her, forgetting about his crush.

“I told you Brian this is only a temporary state. The sooner you relax and let me begin the therapy, the faster we can get through this.”

Brian felt tears dripping down his cheeks and knew he looked even more like a little girl crying this way but he couldn’t help it. Allie just ignored him and started the car. He was so busy wiping at his tears he didn’t even notice her inserting the ear plugs. As the car pulled away the stereo switched on and light classical music filled the car. Brian ignored it for the first five minutes, but soon he found himself swaying to the rhythm.

As the car drove along Brian paid less attention to the scenery, instead he found himself not thinking about much at all. He just listened to the music, swayed back and forth to it, eyes blinking dreamily. Allie’s car was quite modern and was equipped with TV screens on the backs of the front seat headrests. About twenty minutes into the ride they switched on. Brian looked at the one before him and immediately his eyes were locked on the swirl of bright colours. He didn’t even think of looking away. The colours became his whole world.

**

All at once the music and visuals stopped. Brian stared at the black screen before him for more than a minute before he registered that he was still seated in the back seat of Allie’s car. He couldn’t recall anything since they pulled out of her parking space. How long had they been driving? He hadn’t a clue.

Allie opened his door and he allowed her to un-strap him and lift him up without any struggle. He felt dazed and lethargic. “There we go, upsadaisy,” Allie declared.

“Thanks Mommy,” Brian mumbled, making the blonde young woman smile.

Brian immediately realised him embarrassing error. He felt so stupid for calling her that. “Sorry,” he mumbled in apology.

“Sorry for what?” she chirped brightly, as though he’d done nothing wrong.

Allie carried him up into her house, setting him down on the floor in the living room.

Brian still felt out of it as he looked around the room. Allie had obviously prepared it for a little girl. There was a whole Barbie Dream-house with dolls and everything sitting next to the TV. There was little table set up for tea parties, an easy-bake oven and a plastic Playskool kitchen. It was everything a little girl could want. Naturally Brian didn’t want anything to do with any of it.

Standing up Brian found the couch looked like an imposing edifice to him now. He nevertheless climbed onto the seat and rested there, trying to shake the fuzzy feeling he had.

“Uh, uh, uh. What do you think you’re doing up there?” Allie reprimanded as she returned to the room.

“What?” Brian replied, unsure what he’d done wrong.

“That’s my good couch and it’s not for little ones to sit on unless they’re on their mommy’s lap.”

“But I’m not really...”

“Not another word of that,” she snapped, cutting him off.

Allie sat down beside him on the couch and pulled him onto her lap. Her stern look was replaced by a more loving one as she switched modes. “Now I’m not angry with you dear, you didn’t know the rules. That’s why I’m going to help you. The problem is you’re still thinking of yourself as a grown-up. For the therapy to work, you need to cut that out.”

“I can’t,” Brian huffed.

“Sure you can,” she assured him. “All you need to do is take a deep breath for me.”

“What?”

“Take a breath silly. That’s all, just a nice deep breath. Can you do that for me?”

Brian shrugged, what harm could there be in that? “Yeah, of course I can,” he told her.

“Well then?”

Brian took in a deep breath, filling his little lungs with as much air as he could.

“Okay, now hold it in. Don’t let it out yet,” she told him.

Brian held his breath, though it was harder with each second.

“Focus on holding it in, feel how hard it is, feel all that pressure in there. All that pressure of air in your lungs, just like the pressure of life in your mind. Think about how nice it would be to let it all go,” she crooned to him, speaking softly into his ear.

Brian felt her words coming true. It was a lot of pressure, so hard to hold onto.

“Now one the count of three you can let the breath go, and when you do, let all the pressure inside your mind go too. Just let yourself be totally relaxed, completely open. Okay, one... two... three.”

Brian let his breath go out and as he did so he felt so free, so relaxed, his whole body seemed to be relaxing. He was melting into Allie’s warm arms and she whispered in his ear, “Deep sleep.”

The world faded to insignificance. There was only Allie’s voice, her soft, lilting voice comforting him in the darkness. He didn’t consciously hear what she said, but her words acted as unquestionable laws, changing his mind. And Brian remembered no more.

**

Brianna returned to awareness sharply, suddenly this time. One moment she was asleep, deeply asleep and oblivious to the world around her. The next moment she was wide awake and energetic. All it took was a snap of Allie’s fingers.

Brianna was still cuddled in Mommy’s arms. Wait, that wasn’t right. Mommy was called something else. Brianna had always called Mommy something different.

“Mommy, what’s your real name?” Brianna asked her, confused.

“You call me mommy sweetheart, that is my name,” she replied.

“Mommy,” Brianna repeated, feeling a tingle of pleasure light up her brain at using the proper name for Mommy and accepting it.

That made Mommy smile and Brianna liked that. That made her feel like a good girl and she wanted to be a good girl. Of course she wasn’t really a girl though. No, she was a big grown-up man. Her name was actually... huh, it was... she couldn’t quite recall. That scared her. She couldn’t remember her name!

“Mommy! I can’t remember my name!” she screamed, terrified.

“It’s Brianna sweetie, you know that,” Mommy replied.

“No! I mean my real name, my man name!” Brianna cried.

Mommy slapped her hand and it hurt. Brianna got teary eyed but stopped calling out.

“You don’t have a man name anymore Brianna. You’re a little girl now and you have to accept that. Brianna is a little girl’s name, it’s your name.”

“But...”

“No buts young lady. Now tell me what your name is,” Mommy said with a stern look.

“My name is Brianna,” she said, again being rewarded with a pleasurable tingle.

“That’s right. What a good girl you’re being!” Mommy gushed.

And just like that Brianna felt a wave of pleasure released though her body and mind. She was a good girl, Mommy had said so, and that made her feel so, so lovely. But another part of her was still fighting against this, telling her that this was all wrong, that she was meant to be a man.

Mommy seemed satisfied with her transformation so far though, and she lifted the little girl back to her feet, taking her hand. “Okay, let’s go up to your room and get you some proper clothes. I know you’ll just love all your little outfits.”

Brianna let Mommy lead her out of the living room and up the carpeted stairs to her room. It was tough keeping up with a grown-up, she had to take two steps for every one Mommy took. At least it wasn’t far to go this time. Her room was just as she’d imagined it would be. The walls were pink and white and decorated in hearts and ponies. Her bed was made with Sleeping Beauty decorated bed-sheets and even the nightlight had a Barbie design. It was so sickeningly sweet it made her want to throw-up.

Mommy ignored her evident distaste for the room, leading her to the closet. There she looked up at an assortment of equally awful outfits. There were big frilly princess dresses, cute velvet dresses, skirts and t-shirts with cartoon designs and right at the end a pale pink ballerina costume. Brianna couldn’t help but make a disgusted face, sticking out her tongue.

“Aren’t they all lovely?” Mommy gushed.

“Eww, no they suck!” Brianna spat.

“Brianna, good girls don’t talk like that,” Mommy reprimanded her.

Brianna pouted but she knew Mommy was right. She stayed quiet as Mommy took the ballerina outfit out of the closet and considered it for a moment. “Yes, I think this is just the thing,” she mused to herself before turning to Brianna with a smile.

“I don’t wanna wear that!” Brianna exclaimed, put off just by the sight of so much pink.

“Nonsense, every little girl wants to be a pretty ballerina!” Mommy insisted.

Brianna wanted to protest more, but her mouth seemed to have stopped working. As soon as Mommy said the word ‘ballerina’ something in her head had clicked and she found herself feeling dazed and pliable. Yes, it would be nice to be a ballerina of course, they were so pretty, so graceful. She daydreamed about spinning and dancing while everyone watched and applauded her. Brianna barely noticed Mommy stripping off her hospital clothes and slipping the ballerina outfit onto her.

It was only as Mommy slipped her feet into the tight but pliable ballet shoes that she broke free of her daydream. Mommy was lacing the shoes up, humming cheerily as she did so. Then she looked up, flashed a grin at her girl and announced, “There we are!”

Brianna let Mommy lead her over to the full-length mirror next to the dresser. She looked herself over in awe. The pale pink leotard gave way to a frilly pink tutu and matching tights stretching down to the shoes. She was a ballerina in miniature, her head coming to Mommy’s waist, hair still in pigtails. Brianna frowned at the image of herself.

“Mommy, I don’t like this stuff,” she sulked. “I’m supposed to be a boy!”

“Oh but Brianna, look at what a pretty ballerina you are now! Why I bet you can dance and spin just like a real grown-up ballerina.”

With each repetition of ‘ballerina’ Brianna felt stranger. She felt light, dreamy, not connected to reality. She dreamed again of pretty dancers, but now she found herself swaying back and forth. Mommy giggled and encouraged her, called her a good girl. That made her feel alive with pleasure, filled with energy needing to be released. It was so easy to begin to spin around, watching the room fly by as she spun in dizzying circles. It didn’t matter that she was dizzy, she was a ballerina!

Brianna skipped around the room, standing on her tippy toes in her ballet shoes. She leapt in the air, hopped up and down in place, all the while basking in the glow of Mommy’s encouraging smile. She even skipped right out of the room and bounded down the stairs to the living room again, twirling about, singing to herself as Mommy caught up with her.

“You see sweetie, you really are much happier this way,” Mommy commented as she rejoined the dancing five-year old.

Brianna’s dance session came to a quick end as Mommy’s words reminded her of where she was, who she was. She’d been dancing around the house like an idiot, and she’d actually enjoyed it. In fact, she’d more than just enjoyed it! She’d been ecstatic a second ago, totally lost in her imaginary little world. It really scared her now, how easy it had been to slip off to la-la land.

“Mommy, I feel silly. Why did I do that? I don’t wanna do ballet, really I don’t.”

“Oh honey, don’t be sad,” Mommy said with a frown. “You’re just getting into the right frame of mind, that’s all. You can’t keep acting like a big boy when there’s so much fun for a little girl to have. Just let go, enjoy yourself. Remember, Mommy is helping you to be happier.”

“I know Mommy, but I don’t like this.”

Mommy smiled now, cocking her head. “Really? Well you seemed to like it just fine a second ago.”

Brianna knew Mommy was right of course. She looked down at her ballet slippers while Mommy picked up a Barbie from the floor and offered it to her.

“C’mon sweetie, just play some more,” she enticed.

Brianna shook her head no.

Mommy frowned and sighed. “Brianna, I won’t put up with this silly stubborn behaviour. You play like a good girl, or Mommy will be very upset with you.”

Brianna looked up at Mommy with shock and fear. She didn’t want Mommy to be angry, but playing was so stupid. She wasn’t really little after all.

Mommy’s patience ran out quickly though. She shook her head in disappointment and set the doll down, walking away from Brianna. “Okay, if you want to be a bad big boy, you can make your own dinner tonight. No special treats for big boys,” she warned.

Every time she said ‘big boy’ Brianna felt a stab of pain in her tummy, an icy cold feeling of despair and anxiety spreading through her body from the wound. Brianna felt a desperate need for Mommy to love her, to heap praise upon her. Now Mommy was walking away! And she was treating her like a bad big boy.

“No Mommy! Don’t go away, please!” she begged.

But Mommy didn’t turn around, didn’t even acknowledge her. She just walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table with her back to Brianna.

Now the little girl felt like she was on the verge of crying. She was supposed to be a grown-up, she knew that, and she knew playing with stupid dolls was absolutely degrading. But her need to feel Mommy’s love and approval was stronger than her grown-up shame. So she dropped to her hands and knees on the floor and grabbed the plastic Barbie doll in her chubby little hands.

“Look Mommy, I’m playing with my Barbie!” she shouted eagerly.

Now Mommy turned around right away, smiling at the sight of the pig-tailed little girl hopping up and down and waving her Barbie about for her mommy to see. “Good girl, Brianna! Why don’t you take Barbie to her house,” Mommy suggested.

Brianna nodded, the icy pangs gone now. It was so much easier to smile and play. Mommy’s attention made her feel so good. She scurried over to the play-house and walked Barbie inside, talking to her doll as though it could hear her.

“There we go Barbie, home sweet home. I bet Ken will be happy to see you,” she babbled.

Mommy was at her side soon, brushing a hand through her hair. “You’re feeling much happier now,” the woman stated evenly.

“Uh-huh, playing is actually pretty fun,” Brianna agreed, not wanting to feel the icy pain again.

Mommy wrapped her arms around the girl brushing their cheeks together. She pecked a kiss on the little child’s ear, then whispered, “Deep sleep.”

Barbie dropped to the floor with a clatter as Brianna went limp in Mommy’s arms, chin dropping to her chest.

**

Brianna was sitting in Mommy’s lap on the couch. Mommy had a book in her hands, a children’s book of some kind. It was big and had colourful images beside large writing. Brianna couldn’t remember how she came to be seated there, but she didn’t question it. She was focussed on reading the first page of the book. It seemed to be one of the Winnie the Pooh tales. It was hard to get started because Mommy kept moving the book around.

“Mommy, hold still, I’m tryin’ to read!” Brianna finally huffed.

“Oh, I’m sorry dear. But why are you trying to read, you’re just a little girl.”

“I can read!” Brianna screeched.

“Are you sure dear? You’re in a little girl’s body now, with a little girl’s mind. I bet that little brain just can’t hold onto all those big grown-up thoughts you used to have. They’re probably leaking slowly away. Go ahead honey, try to read it to me.”

Brianna felt a pang of fear as Mommy suggested she might lose all her brain power. She pulled the book closer and started to read desperately. “It was a warm day in the hundred-acre woods,” she began, feeling more confident.

“Good start dear, but you hesitated a little. Yes I think it’s getting more empty up there isn’t it?”

At the word ‘empty’ Brianna blinked. A wave of fogginess rolled over her mind. She shook it off and looked back at the book. “Winnie... the... poo? Yeah, pooh! Okay, Winnie ...weh... nt. He went! Umm, he went... to,” she slowly plodded on, sounding out one word at a time, struggling to hold onto her memory of how to read. With each word it seemed to be getting harder!

“Oh sweetie, why are you struggling so much to read that when you could just let me do it for you? Just be a good girl and let Mommy read to you. Mommy wants so much to read for her little sweetums.”

Brianna wanted to go on but the words were getting to hard to read. And mommy wanted to read for her. She so wanted, needed to be a good girl. But losing her reading skills, what would she do for fun if she couldn’t even read a simple kids’ book?

“That’s right Brianna, let all that silly grown-up stuff go away, let it all go empty so you can be a good girl.”

As Mommy said the word again, Brianna could feel the last memories of how to read escape her mind. The book before her might as well have been in Chinese or Arabic, she couldn’t read a word of it. She pouted and craned her neck to look up at Mommy.

“You’re right Mommy. I can’t read it. Would you please read it to me?”

“Of course honey!” Mommy gushed, lifting the book up and beginning to read.

In fact, Brianna soon realised, it was much better to have Mommy read. She could do it so much faster. She did voices for each of the characters and she stopped to explain big words that confused the little girl. Many of them seemed very familiar, but every time Mommy stopped and told her she probably didn’t understand a big word Brianna realised that Mommy was right, she couldn’t recall what the words meant at all.

At the end of the tale Mommy gave Brianna tickles all over her tummy and under her arms, making her squeal with laughter and squirm on her lap.

“You’re doing very well Brianna. The therapy is progressing nicely. You don’t even want to be a nasty big boy anymore do you?”

Brianna started to shake her head, recalling the fearful pangs in her tummy. But she stopped abruptly. She didn’t want to stay a little girl did she? She wanted to be ‘big’ again of course. She loved Mommy, but she wanted more. So she frowned and said, “I’m not gonna stay like this am I?”

Mommy’s smile was gone right away. She didn’t look angry, just concerned. She seemed to consider things for a moment. Then she nodded and declared, “You’re right. I promised you wouldn’t stay like this for long. So let me keep that promise. I don’t think you can be truly happy as a 5-year old girl.”

Brianna nodded vigorously now, eagerly anticipating her return to... well whatever it was she used to be. Mommy set her down on the floor and went to the kitchen. She returned with a plastic cup full of what looked like a blue milkshake. She handed it to Brianna and told her, “All you need to do is drink this cup and I promise things will be better.”

Brianna was all too eager to get big and strong again, so she gulped down the sickly sweet concoction. She had barely finished slurping the last bits up when she felt tingles spreading all over her body. She shook with anticipation, wondering if it would hurt to grow back up. A wave of dizziness and nausea rolled over her. The whole room seemed to be spinning around her as she dropped to her back on the carpet. The ceiling above blurred and the world dimmed.

**

Brianna was still lying on her back on the soft carpet when the ceiling returned to focus above her. She didn’t really recall passing out, but it seemed that was what had surely happened. Sitting up brought a brief wave of dizziness but it passed. Her body felt funny again, out of proportion, foreign. Her limbs seemed even weaker, her tummy chubbier. In fact she seemed to be a bit chubbier all over. It wasn’t that she’d gotten fat though. No, it was simply that she’d got some of her baby fat back.

As she sat there with her arms propping her up the leotard she wore slipped off her shoulders. It no longer seemed to fit her at all. In fact it seemed like it was made for a giant. Her feet clunked around in the ballet slippers as well and the tights didn’t feel very tight. Brianna looked at her hand more carefully, holding it before her face and wiggling the fingers. They were definitely chubbier, shorter than before. There was no doubt in her mind, she’d shrunk again.

“Wakie-wakie!” Mommy chirped, appearing from the kitchen with a new bundle of clothes in her arms.

“What happened to me! I’m even littler!” Brianna raged, sounding like nothing more than a toddler having a tantrum.

“Nothing’s wrong sweetie, Mommy is just helping you to be happier and that required making you a bit littler.”

“No! You promised I’d be big again!”

Mommy just shook her head. “No dear, I promised you wouldn’t be staying a five-year old,” she corrected.

Brianna scowled, looking utterly betrayed. “You tricked me!” she screamed, pointing a pudgy little finger at Mommy in accusation.

“No sweetie, you just misunderstood. It’s okay, as I said your little mind simply isn’t up to grown-up thinking anymore. You’re just a little girl now. And in fact now that you’re just a little toddler it will probably be much harder to hold onto your grown-up thoughts.”

Brianna pouted, tears starting to trace their way down her cheeks. This wasn’t fair at all! She didn’t want to lose her grown-up thoughts. But Mommy didn’t seem upset at all, she was pushing her to regress.

Mommy bent down and slipped the loose leotard off Brianna with a single motion, leaving her suddenly topless.

“Eep!” the little girl screeched in surprise, covering her flat chest in shame.

“Oh, don’t be so modest silly goose. You have nothing to hide anyway. Besides I have a new pretty ballerina outfit that will fit you better.”

At the mention of ballerinas Brianna couldn’t help but smile, the hypnotic trigger pushing her mind into daydreams of spinning and dancing again. She stared off into space with a goofy grin while Mommy finished her outfit change.

“There we go, pretty as can be again,” Mommy pronounced once she was done.

Snapped out of her reverie Brianna looked herself over. She appeared to be about two years old now. Instead of a leotard she wore a simple pink t-shirt with flower designs. Her tutu was brighter pink, frillier than before. The tights were looser and only came to ankle-length. She had no ballet slippers, only bare feet with pink painted toe-nails. She wiggled the chubby little digits into the plush carpet, frowning.

“Come now sweetie, don’t look so upset. Why don’t you turn that frown upside-down! You look so pretty, like such a good girl.”

Brianna smiled weakly as Mommy helped her stand. Her legs felt weaker, her balance less stable, but she could still walk and run. In fact she felt more energetic than ever at the moment. Mommy seemed to see that she was fidgeting and eager to play, even if she didn’t want to admit it.

“You want to play don’t you Brianna, you want to run and jump and summersault, don’t you?”

Brianna nodded shyly, feeling silly but at the same time unable to contain her energy much longer.

“Well go ahead princess, show me you can still jump and roll like a big girl,” Mommy encouraged.

The next few minutes gave Brianna a lot of pleasure. She was able to briefly forget about all her conflicted feelings while she rolled and played like a real kid. It felt so good to be Mommy’s little acrobat, to climb the couch and dangle upside down while Mommy held her in the air by her feet. She even giggled as Mommy tickled her exposed soles and leant down to blow raspberries on her tummy.

But all the play seemed to sap her energy quite effectively. In fact in no time at all she was feeling quite sleepy. Mommy saw her starting to yawn and she swooped in. “Uh-oh, I think somebody is getting a visit from the sandman,” she giggled.

Brianna wanted to protest but instead she opened her mouth wide and yawned once again. She was just so exhausted now, her little body was too easily tired out. So it was welcome when Mommy scooped her up and cradled her against her hip, one leg either side of it.

“Okay my sleepy little princess, you just go ahead and rest your eyes,” she crooned.

Bouncing easily on Mommy’s hip, feeling her warm hand cradle her bum she couldn’t help but grow still more drowsy. Brianna’s eyelids got heavy as Mommy cooed a lullaby to her, gently rocking side to side. It was all so comforting, so peaceful…

She awoke in an expansive bed under covers decorated with rainbows and ponies. All she could hear was the sounds of the ocean, as though she were right at the beach. Sitting up she felt there was something heavy on her head. She raised a hand to her ear and felt something solid there rather than flesh. Pushing it aside the sounds of the ocean became fainter, a pair of noise-cancelling head phones slipping off her head and onto her arm.

Mommy was nowhere to be seen so Brianna pushed aside the covers and climbed out of the massive bed. It was a surprisingly long drop to the floor and she let out a little eek of concern when her feet didn’t immediately find carpet. Standing on the floor she could barely see over the bed, as it was now right at eye-level. Looking her small body over she found that her silly ballerina outfit was gone. Mommy had dressed her in a fuzzy purple one-piece pajama outfit. Only her hands, head and feet were free from the fuzzy garment.

Free from Mommy’s watchful eyes Brianna tried to collect her thoughts. So much had happened since this morning. She’d been a big grown-up man with a man’s name and all. Now she was just a little toddler girl, dependent on Mommy for everything. She couldn’t even read or write and she kept getting wrapped up in play activities. This had to stop right now. She decided the only thing to do was to escape from the house. She didn’t really consider what to do after that, but she’d worry about that later. Now her only goal was leaving the house.

Brianna tip-toed out of the room, peaking left and right down the hallway to see if Mommy was there. She didn’t see anyone, so she slipped out of the room and down the hall to the stairs, going down them as silently as possible. It was tough, the stairs seemed huge now and she had to go down one step at a time, placing both feet on each level before going down another. She reached her hand up to the railing above her head for balance.

Halfway down the stairs it occurred to her that she should have changed her clothes. A toddler in a sleeper wandering the streets would attract a lot of attention. She didn’t even have shoes! How was she going to make a lengthy trek to safety in bare feet?

It was too late to go back though. Brianna made it to the bottom of the stairs and then sprinted to the front door. Unfortunately it was locked and she was too little to reach the dead-bolt. How incredibly frustrating!

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Brianna hadn’t even heard Mommy approaching. She spun around on the spot, a deer caught in the headlights. Mommy didn’t look pleased at all. She looked very upset in fact.

“Brianna, are you trying to go outside without my permission?” she demanded.

“N..No Mommy. I just was playing with the door,” she said, trying to play innocent.

“Don’t lie to Mommy, Brianna. Only naughty big boys lie. Are you trying to be a naughty big boy again?”

The waves of despair and anxiety assaulted Brianna’s psyche again at Mommy’s words. She physically recoiled as though slapped, grimacing in pain. She couldn’t even reply.

“Well Brianna, answer Mommy,” she ordered.

“I…I wasn’t… I mean, I don’t wanna be naughty. But I’m not really little,” she stammered.

“Not really little? Well you look pretty little to me. In fact I probably should have put you in a diaper. I doubt a little girl your age has any real control of your pee-pees and poopies. Why most little ones your age are regular waterfalls.”

As soon as Brianna heard ‘waterfall’ her newest trigger kicked in. She felt the urgent need to pee, growing stronger by the second. Brianna crossed her legs and grasped at her crotch immediately. But Mommy wasn’t done yet.

“Why just imagine if you had an accident, made a waterfall in your pjs! You’d ruin them. But of course you think you’re an adult don’t you? I suppose you won’t pee-pee your pajamas then. An adult would never do such a thing, would they?”

Brianna’s need to pee was getting more desperate by the moment. She needed the toilet and fast. “Mommy, I need the bathroom, please!”

Mommy shook her head. “Just like a little child being toilet trained. I think it is pretty clear you are not a grown-up dear, so I don’t want you asking for the bathroom like a grown-up. Ask like a girl your age should. Ask to use the potty.”

Brianna blushed deep red, but she couldn’t balk for long. Better to face a minor embarrassment than a more serious one. “Please I need to use the potty!” she begged, degrading herself.

“Uh, uh, uh. I don’t think that’s how a little toddler girl sounds at all Brianna. Why don’t you try that again and leave out the unnecessary words.”

Brianna stared daggers of hate at Mommy, but she couldn’t fight her. “Mommy, me need to potty!” she screamed.

“That’s much better sweetie. See how much cuter you sound, how much more appropriate that is. Now take Mommy’s hand like a good girl and we’ll take you to the potty.”

Brianna reached out and took Mommy’s hand, keeping the free one pressed on her crotch, hopping from foot to foot.

Mommy led her very slowly across the room, deliberately taking her time. “See sweetie, you’re doing very well holding it in. You’re not turning into a waterfall or anything.”

It was the final straw. Something in Brianna’s mind changed and her muscles let go. Her bursting bladder released itself and she felt warm pee spurting out and rolling down her thighs, soaking her fuzzy sleeper. A dark stain spread across the crotch of the purple garment, moving down her legs. Brianna sniffled in despair as she lost control.

Mommy saw what she’d done right away. She pulled the peeing girl into a hug and rubbed her back gently. “It’s okay Brianna, Mommy will get you all cleaned up. You just get all that pee-pee out for me, let it all go. It’s perfectly normal, nobody is upset with you. All little girls your age make tinkles in their pants. It’s Mommy’s fault for not putting you in a nice thick diapee.”

Instead of going to the bathroom Mommy led Brianna to the kitchen, where she laid down a changing mat, pulling out baby wipes and a package of Huggies. The picture adorning the front was of a little girl of about two standing in nothing but a diaper and smiling brilliantly at the camera. As Mommy stripped Brianna of her sleeper she saw just how similar she was to that toddler. Mommy even slipped off her sopping wet panties and directed her to lie on the mat.

She lay there with her legs in the air as Mommy wiped her private parts clean bit by bit. She lifted up her bottom to clean it. The smell of baby powder filled the air, heightening her sense of helplessness. All through the change Mommy praised her for tinkling in her pants, for adjusting to being a little girl.

“Now you’re getting there sweetie, you just need to let go, let yourself be happy,” the woman said over and over. Somewhere in the background Brianna could just make out the sounds of the ocean playing from some unseen speakers. The sounds seemed to fill the house now.

After she was cleaned up Mommy took a diaper from the pack to put on her. It was a simple disposable diaper covered in pink and purple pacifier and heart prints. Mommy slipped it under her bare bum and taped it onto her. Although she was partly relieved not to be naked anymore, the feeling of the diaper was a constant reminder of her new status. Mommy slipped her pink t-shirt from earlier back on but gave her no pants or skirt. It seemed she expected Brianna to romp about the house with her diaper showing.

To escape the indignity of it Brianna went back up to her room to play with her toys in quiet. Even if it was only Mommy, she didn’t feel right running around the house without pants on. Unfortunately for her, worse was still to come. After half an hour of play Brianna became aware of a new urge. He stomach was grumbling, she needed to use the potty and fast. Without alerting Mommy she hurried down the hallway to the upstairs bathroom. The door was closed, so she grasped the door-knob and twisted. It wouldn’t give. For some reason the door was locked. Brianna’s stomach cramped again, she didn’t have much time.

Hurrying down the stairs Brianna found the other bathroom was locked too. She tugged at the handle and kicked at the door in frustration. Hearing the commotion Mommy came to see what was wrong.

“Hey there princess, having some trouble?” she asked.

“I need to potty! Bad!” she yelped.

Mommy just shook her head. “We’ve been over this little one. Girls your age potty in their diapees. That’s just the way it is.”

“Nooo! I don’t gotta pee-pee, I gotta poo Mommy. Please, I need the potty.”

Mommy just smirked and said, “Well you’re wearing your potty right now. So go ahead whenever you like.”

Brianna couldn’t believe it when Mommy walked away and left her to struggle with this crisis on her own. Mommy only seemed to pay her any attention when she acted like a dumb toddler. She toddled into the kitchen after Mommy, hoping to somehow convince her to unlock the bathroom. But three steps onto the linoleum Brianna felt a powerful cramp and in an instant she knew it was too late.

As the cramping moved swiftly downward Brianna dropped to a squat instinctively, legs wide, toes curling on the linoleum. She felt her weakened sphincter muscle relax and the poop begin to ooze from her bum, the well-padded Huggie diaper expanding as it filled with her mess. Brianna sulked and strained, unable to stop the process once it had begun. There was popping and rude farts erupting from her, the stench already assaulting her nose.

Mommy could see what she was doing and now her dismissive tone was gone and the praise was back. She crouched alongside the toddler and urged her to get all the nice poopies out. “That’s it,” she said, “empty those poopies into your diapee-waipee. That’s what it’s for after all. You’re my little poop machine and Mommy will clean you up when you’re done.”

After a long, shameful minute she was done. The added weight in her diaper threw off her balance and she tipped backwards, landing on her puffed-out diapered bottom. Disgusting poopy squished against her smooth bottom, spreading around the sides. Brianna pounded her heels into the floor in disgust and anger. Bit by bit she was losing control of her own body. She knew it was happening, but she couldn’t seem to stop it.

Mommy already had the changing mat out and Brianna cooperated with her this time. She just wanted this awful poopy diaper off of her, now. As soon as Mommy opened it up though, she regretted it. The stench was awful and Mommy had to use several wipes to clean her bottom up. By the end of the change she’d lost her struggle not to show emotion and was once again crying her little eyes out. Mommy held the newly diapered girl close and assured her things would be okay.

“No they won’t!” Brianna squealed back. “I’m a baby!”

Mommy didn’t deny it. Instead she took a new tack. “Yes Brianna you are a baby now, just my little baby girl. And there’s no point anymore in denying it or pretending otherwise. What’s more Brianna you aren’t going to be changing back any time soon, so the best thing you can do is let me help you adjust.”

“I don’t wanna adjust! I wanna be big again!” Brianna wailed.

“No Brianna, what you want is to be happy. You want to be free of all your adult worries and concerns. You want someone to love you and keep you safe. You want a Mommy to take care of your every need. But Brianna, to have those things you have to let me make some changes for you. Otherwise you’ll keep being embarrassed and unhappy.”

“No, I don’t want any changes, you can’t make me act like a little baby even if you can make me look like one.”

Mommy just sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “Okay then, you can be that way. But honey Mommy knows what’s best and she’s going to make you happy in spite of yourself. And that starts with you being a very sleepy girl.”

Brianna blinked, suddenly looking very tired.

“Yes Brianna, you’re a very sleepy girl, so very sleepy, your eyes burning from strain, needing so badly to close.”

She watched the toddler’s head bob and her eyes blink more quickly. She was almost there.

“What you really need little one, is a nice deep sleep.”

The girl’s eyes dropped shut as though weighed down, her body drooped limply onto its side on the floor. Allie smiled at the slumbering form before her and then set about deepening Brian’s trance. She counted him down from ten to one, made his arms rise like they were filled with helium, pinched his thigh and told him to have no reaction. He didn’t. Once again he was in a deep hypnotic trance and it was time to make some major changes.

Allie felt sorry for Brian’s reluctance to go with the flow. She understood why he was fighting it of course, but it was really so futile. Clearly she’d left him with too many adult abilities for too long. It was time to take him back to true innocence.

“Brianna,” she whispered to the tranced toddler, “Can you hear me okay?”

There was a slight nod, a sleepy mumble of agreement.

“Good, you will listen to my voice now Brianna, listen very carefully. You can feel my words sinking into your brain and changing it. You have no ability to prevent this happening. You know that my voice has special powers and you cannot fight it. You don’t want to fight it though. My words will make you feel so good, so wonderful, so you must listen very carefully and accept all that you hear.”

Brianna nodded again, eyes still shut, body lying limp on the floor.

“Whenever you see another toddler girl Brianna, you will observe their behaviour. You will watch how they act, how they speak, how they smile or cry or play with their toys. You will pay very close attention to them. You will find you need to copy their behaviours. They can teach you how to be happy, how to be a good girl. You will act just like them and you will forget how to act any other way. You will allow their behaviours to replace yours, you will feel your mind being overwritten. Do you understand?”

Brianna nodded slightly again.

“Please tell me what will happen when you see a toddler girl like yourself.”

Brianna’s mouth barely opened and she slurred, “Watch ‘em, copy ‘em, can only act like them. Forget.”

“Good girl. Remember, whenever you hear me say ‘good girl’ you will feel overwhelmed with pleasure. Now I know you were embarrassed about pooping but you won’t be anymore. From now on whenever I say ‘poop machine’ you’ll feel the urge to mess your diaper and it will feel so nice. All the nerves down there will light up and you’ll have to smile it will feel so good. You will not feel embarrassed anymore.”

Brianna made a little shudder, but then she nodded her drowsy little nod one more time.

“Okay, one final thing Brianna. We need to help you get over this silly body shame you have. Little toddler girls have no sense of modesty, they don’t cover their chests or hide in their rooms because they have no pants. In fact many cute little toddlers run around their houses in their birthday suits and everyone thinks they’re just lovely that way. So from now on whenever you hear the word ‘jaybird’ you will feel a powerful urge to get naked. You will feel all your modesty, all your inhibitions just drain away. It won’t matter where you are or who is there to see it. You won’t care about such things anymore, little toddlers never think about that. You’ll just want to get out of your clothes and be a naked jaybird.”

Satisfied with her suggestions Allie repeated them several more times for Brian, deepening his trance again when he seemed to be coming out of it too soon. Then she moved him to his room, and placed the noise-cancelling head phones over his ears. The new subliminal messages would repeat and deepen her suggestions over the course of the night. To doubly ensure their effectiveness she gave Brian an injection in his tiny little arm. The drug would open his mind to the suggestions more than even normal. Then she turned out the light and left him to sleep to the sounds of the sea.

Brianna was getting used to waking up in a strange bed to the sounds of waves and seagulls. She no longer woke up disoriented and frightened. Instead she simply shucked off the headphones she knew were on her ears and headed climbed out of bed. Mommy had left a purple Hello Kitty t-shirt next to her bed and she did her best to put it on herself. It was no easy task. All her coordination seemed to have left her, but after a couple minutes and many mistakes she had the shirt on. There were no pants of course, Mommy wanted her diaper showing.

Dressed as she was going to get, Brianna made her way downstairs. Mommy was busy straightening the living room up, putting toys away and dusting as though expecting an important visitor.

“Mommy, what are you doing?” she asked, startling Mommy with her presence.

“Oh Brianna, you scared me.”

“Sorry Mommy.”

“It’s okay, I’m just getting the place ready for my friends. They’re coming over for tea very shortly.”

Brianna’s eyes widened. “Friends coming over! But what about me?”

“Well of course they’ll want to meet you silly.”

“But I don’t want people seeing me like this,” Brianna whined.

“Well you better get over that sweetie, because I have no plans to shut you in the house like a dirty secret. But, there are some rules you need to know about before they get here.”

“What rules?”

“My friends don’t know you used to be a big boy. As far as they know you’re a normal, happy little two-year old girl. So from now on, I don’t want to hear you speaking like a grown-up.”

“What?!”

“That’s right, no full sentences, no big words. You will not tell them anything about the therapy or who you used to be.”

Brianna shook her head defiantly. “And why on earth do you think I’d go along with that?”

“Because if you do let on it will endanger the therapy and I’ll have no choice but to make you even smaller.”

Mommy didn’t really speak in a threatening tone, but it was a powerful threat she’d just delivered nonetheless. Brianna felt sick to her stomach at the thought of getting even younger. She’d do whatever it took to avoid that fate.

“So do you agree to play by the rules?” Mommy asked.

“Yeah, I’ll play along.”

“Good, now say ‘yes mommy’” she directed.

“Yes mommy,” Brianna repeated, sighing.

“No, that’s all wrong. You need to say it like a toddler. Try it again.”

“Yeth mommy!” Brianna chirped with false enthusiasm.

“Now that’s the ticket. Just make sure you keep it up.”

A few minutes later the doorbell rang and Mommy rushed to the front door exclaiming, “Oh my goodness they’re here already!”

Swinging it open revealed a couple young women about Mommy’s age. They seemed very excited to see her and there was a full minute of loud emotional greetings between the trio. Finally Mommy beckoned them inside, leading them into the living room where Brianna was sat on the floor.

“Oh my goodness is that your little girl?” a tall brunette asked Mommy.

“Yep, that’s my Brianna.”

“Oh she is just adorable!” the woman gushed.

“She is! I could just eat her up, she’s so cute,” agreed the other new lady, a shorter woman with dirty blonde hair.

Both women dropped down to their knees so they could get close to Brianna, giving her silly little waves and trying to get her to speak. Brianna just pouted in silence, this was humiliating.

“C’mon princess, don’t be rude to Mommy’s friends. Say hello,” Mommy prodded, giving her a stern look.

Brianna rolled her eyes but then forced herself into character. “Hewwo,” she said with an affected lisp, “Me Bwee-anna.”

“Awww!” both women cooed at once.

“Well I’m Jess,” said the blonde, “and this is my friend Ashley. It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Tanks,” Brianna mumbled back.

“Oh what a polite little thing you are, and so pretty too! You’re such a good girl,” Ashley told her.

Even though it wasn’t Mommy saying it Brianna found the sensations of pleasure returned and she couldn’t help but smile and giggle.

As the women continued to fawn over her the doorbell rang again. A moment later Mommy returned with a third woman, who was carrying a little girl of her own on her hip. Brianna immediately locked eyes on the new toddler. She was a little red-head with pale skin and freckled cheeks. She looked about the same physical age as herself. Dressed in a green t-shirt and diaper only, she appeared even more similar. Brianna wondered if this was another big boy who’d been changed like herself.

The new toddler girl locked eyes with Brianna and for a moment she held her breath, wondering if they were thinking the same thing. Then the girl gave her a big silly smile and blew a raspberry in her direction, clapping her little hands with glee. Brianna’s heart fell, this girl wasn’t like her at all. She was a real toddler.

“Look girls, Jane is here and she brought Emily with her!” Mommy announced.

The women forgot about Brianna and went to fawn over the new little girl in the room for a moment. Brianna was at once thankful for the distraction and disappointed to not be the centre of attention anymore.

After all their greetings were exchanged Mommy suggested they all go to the kitchen for tea. “The babies can play in here, we can watch them from the kitchen so they don’t get in any trouble,” she said.

The others nodded and headed into the kitchen, now ignoring Brianna like she was nothing more than a little pet. And she knew that was exactly what she was to these women, something cute and mindless to be fawned over and petted but otherwise ignored. It really galled her to be treated this way.

Meanwhile little Emily was set down on the carpet next to her. The toddler settled on her diapered bottom, legs splayed wide before her, and began to suck on her thumb, staring at Brianna with wide innocent eyes. Brianna watched the girl and felt a strange urge coming over her. She felt like she needed something to suck on herself. She watched the little girl’s thumb bob back and forth between her lips as she suckled it. Brianna felt her hand moving to her own mouth, as if it had a mind of its own. Yet she didn’t fight it, the need was becoming more powerful by the second. She formed her hand into a fist and slipped the little thumb into her mouth.

Brianna understood now how smokers must feel. She understood the power of craving. As soon as she had her thumb in her mouth she felt whole, safe and warm. She suckled on the digit, giving her a feeling similar to eating. She splayed her legs out just the way Ashley did, staring at the girl who was now her mirror image.

Ashley smiled around her thumb and drummed her heels on the carpet. Brianna copied her immediately, feeling a wave of pleasant silliness go over her. She was such a silly girl!

Ashley’s thumb popped out of her mouth without warning. “Ahwey wan’ pway!” she declared.

She wanted to play, well of course she did, that would be so much fun, Brianna thought. “Yeah wan’ pway!” she agreed, finding it so easy to match the little girl’s toddler diction.

Ashley giggled and clumsily stood, then toddler off towards the brightly coloured toy box. Brianna followed her, still feeling a strange fascination with the girl’s every move, compelled to watch, filled with an urge to copy.

Digging through the box Ashley found a troll doll with hot pink hair. She gazed at it with awe for a moment, then promptly deposited it in her mouth, exploring all its surfaces. Brianna felt a brief pang of pity for the stupid little kid. This was why many toys were off limits to children under three, because dumb toddlers stuffed everything in their mouths and could choke on something too small.

Brianna grabbed a naked Barbie doll from the stash herself, but as she held it in her hands she began to wonder what the plastic body would feel like in her mouth, what it tasted like. She was curious what Ashley was experiencing, why she enjoyed mouthing her doll so much. She needed to find out. Jamming Barbie into her mouth felt strange at first. But then it was pleasant. She explored the surfaces of the toy with her tongue, bit down on the solid plastic with her baby teeth.

Ashley yanked her troll clear of her mouth long enough to yell, “Dowwy nummy!”

Brianna nodded in agreement, then thought, ‘Isn’t there another name for dowwy?’ She was sure there was, but now she couldn’t recall how else to say it. The grown-up word had disappeared from her mind as soon as Ashley spoke, it had been unlearned.

For the next hour she followed Ashley around the playroom, copying her every move, her speech and her mannerisms. Each time she copied an action she was rewarded with a sense of accomplishment, like she’d done something really good. She also found she couldn’t recall how to do things differently anymore. Once she watched Ashley poke at and the chew on the TV remote Brianna couldn’t remember what the object did anymore. All it was good for was pressing buttons and chewing on.

Finally Ashley grew bored with the toys and toddled into the kitchen. Brianna tagged along right behind her, matching her wide-legged gait with each step. Ashley toddled up to her mommy and held out her arms, squealing “Uppies!”

Her mother scooped her up into her arms and cuddled the girl close. Brianna looked over at her Mommy and stretched her arms the same way, yelling “Uppies!” with the same high-pitched squeal Ashley had used.

Mommy seemed overjoyed at her behaviour and immediately lifted her onto her hip and cuddled her close. The women were talking but Brianna wasn’t listening to their grown-up talk. She just stared across at Ashley, who was gazing glassy-eyed at her mommy, playing with her hair.

“Yes, let’s take them outside and let them play in the sprinklers a bit. It really is a hot day, we should let them cool down a bit,” Jane was suggesting.

“That’s a great idea Jane, I think they’ll really love that,” Mommy agreed.

“I didn’t bring Emily’s swim suit but that’s okay, she can just go nakie,” Jane told them.

“Oh that’s so precious, what a cutie,” the other women chortled.

Oblivious to the conversation Brianna wasn’t sure what was going on when the women all headed to the front door. They all headed out onto the front porch and Mommy walked over to wear a water hose was attached to a spigot on the side of the house. She turned the knob and a sprinkler in the middle of the grass came to life. Meanwhile Jane had already lifted Emily’s t-shirt off over her head, leaving her bare-chested. Then she set the girl down and undid the tabs on her diaper, whisking it away and leaving her standing nude on the front porch. With a gentle pat on the bum she sent the girl toddling off onto the lawn where she played around the edges of the sprinkler’s spray, giggling and toddling this way and that.

The sight of Emily playing naked in the front lawn jolted some awareness back to Brianna’s mind. This was so embarrassing. This wasn’t the back yard, this was out front, where every passing car or jogger could see the naked toddler. Yet there was no denying that she was feeling a growing need to copy her, to strip down and play in the sprinkler. Why on earth would she want to do that though?

Just like that Brianna realised she’d been copying everything Emily did since they met. She thought back over all the dumb things she’d been doing and she felt sickened. Why would she want to copy a silly mindless little tot? Obviously something had been done to her, something had been done to her mind and that really worried her.

Mommy hadn’t noticed her disquiet and she was jostling up and down on her hip, carrying her back towards the others. “Are you ready to get wet silly goose? Ready to play?” she asked.

Brianna shook her head vigorously. She didn’t want to be out there playing in public view with that naked girl. She had to tell Mommy she wasn’t going to go along with this.

“No mommy, me no wanna pway!” she squealed. Brianna blanched at her diction. That wasn’t what she’d wanted to say. She’d only been copying Emily before, but now she found it hard to recall her grown-up words.

“Why not sweetie?” Mommy replied.

“Da siwwy guwl awll nakie,” Brianna tried to explain, pained by her inability to form normal words.

“Of course she is dear. She’s just a little tyke, and it’s a warm day. I have a swimsuit inside for you, but I don’t think you really need it. I think you’d be much happier going nakie like your little friend.”

Brianna shook her head desperately. She’d been afraid of being seen playing with the naked girl, now Mommy was suggesting she go naked herself. There was no way, she had to fight the strange urges she was feeling. “No mommy, Bwee-anna no nakie!” she yelled. Then with frustration she demanded, “Why can’ me tawk wight?”

“What do you mean sweetie? You talk exactly the way a two-year old girl should. It was the way you spoke before that was wrong,” Mommy told her.

They reached the other women and Mommy commented, “Looks like your girl is quite the little jaybird Jane.”

Jane nodded and agreed, “Oh yes, it really is a struggle to keep anything on her half the time. She’s just a natural little jaybird as you say.”

As the words echoed in Brianna’s head she felt a weight lifting from her shoulders. The shame and fear she’d been overwhelmed by a second ago seemed to have floated away on the warm breeze. She looked over at Emily skipping about the wet grass and she felt only envy. That looked like fun. The only thing that was bothering her now was her clothes. They felt so tight, so itchy and constricting.

“What about Brianna, Allie? Does she need a swimsuit?” Jane asked.

“Oh I don’t think so, she’s usually just my little jaybird. Let me see though. Brianna sweetie, do you want your swimsuit so you can play in the sprinkler?”

Brianna heard Mommy’s question and for a fleeting second something deep inside her told her to say yes, that she did need a swimsuit. But clothes were so uncomfortable and Mommy had just said she was her jaybird. She wanted to be Mommy’s jaybird, wanted to be free and comfy like Emily.

“Nuh-uh,” she shook her head, “Wanna go nakie!”

“Okay then,” Mommy nodded with a smile.

It felt so nice as Mommy slipped her shirt off and then yanked her diaper free. She enjoyed the breeze across her whole body. She skipped onto the lawn, giggling at the tickly grass on her feet, exhilarated by the spray of tiny water droplets across her tummy and face. It didn’t matter that passing cars could see her exposed this way, she was just a little toddler now anyway, she had nothing to hide, no need to be ashamed. She was just being like her friend Emily.

They played that way for twenty minutes. It was a joyous experience for Brianna, running to and fro with her friend, cool water and warm breeze mixing in the summer sun. But the sound of all that water falling had another effect. She didn’t even feel the urge, didn’t even know she had to go. But suddenly there was warm liquid that wasn’t from the sprinkler, rolling down the insides of her legs, splashing across her toes. She was peeing on the front lawn.

Emily stopped and stared at her peeing friend, chewing on her fingers idly while she watched. Her look wasn’t accusatory, just curious. The women had taken notice too. They chuckled to themselves and told Allie, “Looks like you have a little girl into watering the lawn herself a bit.”

Allie nodded and headed off the porch to help the girl.

Brianna didn’t know what to feel anymore. A small part of her was embarrassed by her accident, but a big part of her felt this was normal and nothing to be worried about. When Mommy arrived she looked eagerly up at the trusted woman to tell her how she should feel.

Mommy took her hand and led her away from the sprinkler, smiling at her in a way that told her she wasn’t in any trouble for tinkling on the lawn.

“Mommy, Bree-anna maked pee-pee,” she admitted, no longer feeling so self-conscious about her lisping speech patterns.

“It’s okay sweetie-pie, Mommy will get you all cleaned up and in a nice new diapie,” she assured.

Brianna felt so relieved. It was okay to tinkle herself because Mommy said so. Clearly she was just doing what she was supposed to do now that she was a little tot. The other women gave her smiles too, they knew she was just being a good girl. Back in the house Mommy laid her down on the changing mat and taped a brand new Huggies onto her then blew raspberries onto her wet tummy. Brianna squealed with delight at the sensation. Mommy was so silly!

Soon enough Emily was brought back in from the lawn and re-diapered herself. Then the two girls were deposited in a mesh-walled playpen together while the Mommy’s went upstairs to see Allie’s new décor for the bathroom. Both of them now wearing just their diapers, they stared at each other with renewed curiosity. Soon Emily grew bored and she began to pick her nose and cuddle a plushy bunny to her face. Brianna picked up a stuffed teddy bear and nuzzled him close, enjoying his soft texture rubbing across her bare skin. He made her feel so cuddly.

As she cuddled the teddy Brianna felt her stomach cramp in a familiar way. She knew what that meant, she needed to do a poop. An image of a bathroom and a grown-up toilet flashed into her head for a moment. Then she remembered Mommy’s scowl, her angry tone when Brianna wanted to toilet. She recalled Mommy’s pleasant laugh, her smile, her Mommy smell when she cuddled Brianna after she made poopies in her diaper. Brianna wanted that Mommy, she wanted cuddled and smiles.

She climbed off her bum and into a squat, letting go. It didn’t take any real effort, the muscles down there were so weak, so immature. She felt the poopy squishing into her diaper, felt the crinkly material expand as it filled up. A loud fart escaped in the midst of it and Emily giggled at what the girl was obviously doing.

“You poopy!” she announced.

Brianna smiled too, sitting back on her bum as she finished, feeling the gooey, slippery stuff squish across her bottom in a satisfying way. “Uh-huh, done a poopy,” she agreed, cuddling teddy again and forgetting about the mess in her diaper.

When the women returned a few minutes later they all noticed the stench emanating from the playpen. Jane was the first one to say it out loud. “Smells like somebody needs a change. Was that you Ashley?”

Without expecting any real response she leant over the playpen and pulled back Ashley’s diaper. The girl didn’t seem bothered by the invasion of privacy, since she didn’t have any privacy to speak of anyway.

“Nope, she’s wet, but not messy,” Jane declared.

Mommy appeared above the playpen next, beaming down at Brianna. The tot cuddled her teddy closer as she felt Mommy’s hand pull back her diaper and look inside. “Yep, looks like we have the culprit here,” she announced.

“Me poopy,” Brianna announced at last, any embarrassment she’d felt wiped away by Mommy’s smile.

“Yes we can see that, and smell that dear,” Mommy told her. Turning to the other women she joked, “Well that diaper didn’t last too long did it?”

The women tittered and nodded, sitting on the couch while Jane and Allie lifted their charges from the playpen.

Brianna was happy to see she was being changed right next to Emily, lying on matching changing mats in the middle of the living room. The poop under her bottom was cool now and felt icky. She was glad Mommy was changing her. Watching her move about above her Brianna couldn’t take her eyes off Mommy. She recalled loving her even before, when she’d been a man. That seemed like so long ago now. How was it possible she’d ever been so strong and independent when she felt so very small and dependent now?

Mommy took her messy diaper off and began to clean her bum again. Happy giggles nearby caught her attention and she looked over at Emily getting her change. Her diaper was gone now too and her mommy was tickling the backs of her thighs while she chortled and screeched, “Dat tickles!” while pulling at her feet. A moment later she pulled her foot to her mouth and playfully munched at her toes, giggling around them.

Seeing her own feet waving about in the air as Mommy cleaner her, Brianna seized one and pulled it close, examining her pink toe-nails, watching them wiggle back and forth. Experimentally she pulled it to her mouth, tasting the toe, wondering what the pink nail-polish was like. It was yucky. She let it go and forgot about it amid a round of tickles across her own bared thighs.

With new dry diapers back on the girls, one of the women suggested they all take a walk to the park. Everyone seemed to agree that was a great idea. Mommy dressed Brianna in set of hot pink shortalls and a white t-shirt. She and Emily were then placed in a two-seated stroller, sitting side by side. Mommy pushed it, leading them down the street towards the park. The women chatted about the houses and various neighbours but Brianna was concerned with other things.

As the stroller moved along the street she watched the cars going past and they brought back memories. She recalled that driving had been one of her favourite activities as a grown-up. Now she wouldn’t even be able to sit in the front seat of the car, let alone drive it. Her mind cleared somewhat and she became more and more upset as she saw how far she’d fallen. She’d even been running around the front lawn naked for all to see. She’d pooped herself and been changed before all those women. This was all wrong. She didn’t feel happier now. She felt ashamed, trapped. Mommy had tricked her, changing her without asking whether she wanted this, then making her even littler when she promised the opposite. She’d used her selective love to train her, to make her go along with acting like the toddler she appeared to be.

She wanted to climb out of the stroller, announce to everyone who she really was and then demand to be changed back. But she knew that wasn’t possible. Her tongue was sluggish, so many words she knew before had gone from her vocabulary. Her fingers were clumsy and her gait unsteady. Observing the behaviours of little Ashley all day had changed her. She not only acted like a real toddler now, she’d forgotten how to act otherwise. She actually needed Mommy to take care of her.

By the time they arrived at the park Brianna was acting like a very fussy baby. As Jane lifted Emily out of the stroller and took her to play with the other toddlers in the nearby sandpit Brianna sulked with her arms crossed, refusing to budge.

“Brianna, we’re here. Don’t you want to play in the sandpit?” Mommy asked.

“No! No pway in thand. Dats dumb!”

“Oh, c’mon now. I think you’ll find it fun if you try.”

“’M not a dumb bay-bee! Bwee-anna ith big!”

Mommy looked concerned by this outburst, but she laughed it off and told her friends, “You guys go on to the playground without me. I’ll take care of her.”

As they headed away Mommy unstrapped Brianna from the stroller and carried her to a nearby park bench. She sat down with the still scowling girl in her lap.

“Okay, what’s the matter baby girl?”

“Don’ call me dat! Me big!” Brianna spat.

“Sweetie, I warned you about pretending to be big around my friends. You need to get used to this. I thought you were doing a pretty good job adjusting today too.”

“Don’ wanna be widdle. Make me big ‘gain. ‘M not happy!”

“Oh but you have been happy dear, so very happy and innocent. You should have seen the smile you had playing in that sprinkler. I’ve had to force you every step of the way, but each time you’ve given in it’s only made you happier.”

Brianna sulked, but she knew Mommy was right. She’d felt good playing outside today, she’d even enjoyed the feeling of pooping her diaper. But this couldn’t continue.

“But I wanna gwow up mommy,” she insisted.

Mommy frowned now, seeming to think to herself for a moment before replying. Then she looked Brianna in the eye and spoke. “Honey, this is your life now. There is no going back. The goal of the therapy is to make you happy, and to do that by making you a toddler again. There is no growing back up, no reversing the changes.”

Mommy waited to let the words sink in. She could see the shock and fear in the toddler’s eyes, but she continued. “I’d been planning this for a long time honey. But the car accident offered the perfect opportunity. I have friends at the hospital dear. As far as the world is concerned you died in that accident. You have no life to go back to anymore. You’re my baby girl Brianna and that’s how it’s going to stay.”

“Bu’…bu... bu…,” Brianna stuttered, too shocked to speak.

“I know you’re scared and angry right now darling, but I wouldn’t be a good therapist if I didn’t have a cure for that,” Mommy said in a more certain tone.

Brianna watched as Mommy undid the buttons on her blouse one by one, opening it up to reveal her bosom. She smiled at Brianna’s confusion as she undid her bra and revealed her breast. Brianna couldn’t believe Mommy was revealing herself here in a public park. What was she doing?

“Okay sweetie, time for you to feed. I promise a little milk will make you feel all better.”

Brianna shook her head; she couldn’t possibly feed on Mommy’s boobies. And especially not here, sitting in a public park! Mommy wasn’t giving her a choice though. She was a weak little toddler and Mommy seemed infinitely stronger, pulling her towards the bared breast. Brianna fought it right up to the moment she felt the fleshy teat slip between her lips. Then some overpowering urge swept through her and she began to suckle without thought.

Warm milk filled her mouth almost instantly. It was creamy and good. It rolled down her throat and filled her little tummy quickly. As she suckled she kept thinking “This is Mommy. I’m drinking from Mommy,” and it made her feel strangely satisfied. She felt as though Mommy’s love was flowing into her and it made her feel so nice.

All the happy memories of the last couple days filled her mind. Mommy was right, she had been happy, she had enjoyed playing like a little girl, then a toddler. But something else was happening now. Suckling at Mommy’s breast was doing something to Brianna’s mind. Buried in all the subliminal messages she’d listened to for hours and hours were special suggestions, commands given every time she was in a trance, and they were being triggered now. As Mommy’s milk flowed in, her intelligence flowed out, left her forever. All this time it was what separated her from real toddlerhood, kept her from being truly happy, made her hesitate and fight it. Her adult brain power, her reasoning abilities were holding her back. Just as when she’d been a grown-up unable to stop worrying, thinking all night when he should have been sleeping, they’d made her cling to adulthood with all its stresses.

Before Brianna had lost her abilities, her vocabulary, her inhibitions, but all through it she still thought like a grown-up. Now with every suckle, with each swallow, Brianna felt her mind dulling, simplifying. There would be no more second-thoughts, no more reservations or hesitations. Brianna’s eyes glazed over as she fed from her Mommy, letting the hypnotic suggestions hard-wired into her mind do their work, letting them slow her brain down.

Mommy slipped Brianna off her breast and let the girl sit back in her lap. Her wide, glassy eyes looked up at her mother with love and she pulled her feet back and forth playfully, smiling.

“How do you feel princess?”

Brianna giggled and declared, “Mommy nummy-num,” before pulling one of the feet to her mouth and jamming a couple painted toes between her lips, giggling around them at her silliness.

Allie seemed satisfied that her suggestions had done their work. The little toe-muncher in her lap seemed a whole lot happier than she had before. She undid the buckles on the girl’s shortalls, sliding them off her and the lifting the t-shirt off as well to leave her naked but for the diaper. She gave her no triggers, no suggestions. She lifted Brianna by the arms and lowered her to the ground.

“There we go, I don’t think you need to be overdressed anymore do you?” she asked the still smiling toddler.

Brianna licked her lips and picked at her nose, then announced, “Nakie! Me nakie giwl mommy!” She grabbed at her diaper with both hands, ripping it clear and taking off toddling at a quick pace.

Mommy chuckled at the girl’s total lack of modesty without even needing a hypnotic trigger anymore. Then she picked up the diaper and gave chase, catching up just as the naked toddler hopped into the sandpit in front of all the other moms and their kids.

“Sorry about that,” she apologised to everyone as she removed her little nudist from the sand.

The other moms just chuckled good-naturedly in understanding. Brianna seemed disappointed to have to leave the sand, oblivious to the staring moms.

“Honey, I know you like going nakie, but you need your diaper on in case you pee-pee,” Mommy reminded her, lying her in the grass to put it on again.

“Sowwy mommy,” she mumbled around the thumb she was now sucking.

“It’s okay, I understand. You’re a happy little girl and that’s what matters.”

With her diaper back on, but blissfully free of any other icky clothing, Brianna stood and toddled back to the sandpit. She wasn’t concerned with any of the grown-ups doing their big person talk. She was only concerned with how she felt. And she felt good! She hopped into the warm sand and it was nice sliding ‘tween her toesies. She picked up handfuls to feel it slide around her fingers too. She did that over and over, enjoying the repetition. She put some sand in her mouth to taste. Icky, she didn’t like that. Warm pee-pee flooded her diapie. She didn’t know it was coming but it didn’t bother her. She liked how it sloshed around her crotch. It made her diapie heavier but Mommy would fix that soon and she’d get tickles and kisses and all. She looked over at where Mommy was talking with her other big-person friends. That looked boring. Play was much more fun. She hoped she never had to get big and have to wear clothes and do boring stuff like that. Brianna was so happy she was just a little girl.

Author’s Note: If you’d like to commission me for a story just send me a private message. I’m willing to write just about anything as long as there can be some mental AR involved.

 

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