by: BackToBabyHood | Complete Story | Last updated Jun 16, 2022
In the early 90's, a young woman is arrested for her role in spiking the drink of a fellow classmate at a party. Faced with a lengthy prison sentence, her mother decides to enroll her in an experimental rehabilitation program, hoping it will give her daughter a fresh start. "Starting over" isn't always as simple as it sounds, but it will take mother and daughter on a journey neither of them expected.
When I find out
all the reasons, maybe I’ll find another way
Find another day
With all the
changing seasons of my life
Maybe I’ll get it
right next time
Initial Visit – 18
Years Old (March 1st, 1994)
The young woman and her
mother sat in the examination room in silence.
The teenage girl stared at the floor, purposefully avoiding eye contact
as her mother read the papers given to her after their name was called in the
reception area. Eventually, her mother
set aside the documentation and sighed.
“Amanda, I know this
difficult………”
The girl snapped her head
in the direction of her mother, as if she had been waiting to pounce on her the
entire time.
“You don’t know shit,
ok? All you know is what the cops told
you! It was a prank, mom! A dumb prank that Meghan and I played! It was one hit of X! That’s it!
We didn’t try to kill her! She’s
an uptight bitch and we thought it would be funny to see her tripping and
making out with random guys!”
Amanda’s mother began
shaking her head, an exhausted look on her face.
“But you could have killed
her! The poor girl is lucky she didn’t
die! You’re lucky she didn’t die! And to think you were dealing drugs on top of
it all……..you need to look on the bright side, Amanda! It was 20 years in prison or this! Is that what you wanted, to get out of prison
when you were almost 40? Thank God the
judge allowed you to take part in this! You
and Meghan! At least now you’ll
have a future!”
Amanda rolled her eyes in
response, flipping her dirty blonde hair to the side.
“I still don’t know what
‘this’ is!” she said, emphasizing the “this” in her retort by looking around
the room with her hands in the air. “You
still haven’t told me what the fuck this ‘program’ is, or what I do in it, or how
long it lasts! You didn’t give me a say
in any of this! All I know is that I’m
not going to college next year, I’m not allowed to drive anymore and I have to
wear a fucking ankle monitor for the next month! Oh, and I can’t even talk to my friends! I’m not allowed to use a phone? They took my beeper away? This is so fucked up! At least in jail I’d get a phone call every
once in a while!
Her mother sighed, looking
away from her angry daughter. “I’m sorry
if you’re upset. I only wanted to do
what was best for you and……”
A knock at the
examination room door interrupted her apology.
“Oh…..come in?” Amanda’s
mother replied, sheepishly. The door
opened and a tall, brunette woman wearing a white doctor’s coat appeared. She lowered her glasses as she entered the
room, then paused, realizing that she just interrupted a quarrel.
“I’m sorry, if you need
more time, I can come back in a few minutes…..” she offered.
Amanda’s mother waved her
hand, declining the offer. “No, no we’re
fine……”
“I guess I don’t get a
say anymore, huh?” Amanda interjected while looking at her mother
contemptuously. “I guess you’ll just
speak for me from now? Fine, I’ll keep
my fucking mouth shut and you can talk to her” she said, gesturing towards
the doctor. Ignoring the family drama,
the woman sat down, and began to read over her chart.
“My name is Doctor Fiona
Gembella and I’ll be your physician during your treatment. You must be Amanda Silverstone?”
Amanda rolled her eyes,
chewing her gum. “Wow, you must have
graduated at the top of your class, huh?”
The doctor smirked,
straightening in her chair and turning the page on her chart.
“Well, I wasn’t the
brightest but I was definitely the hardest working, so you’ll have to cut me
some slack I’m afraid” she replied, smirking.
“Amanda, I’m going to be
your primary care physician during your home confinement. You’ll be required to come here once a month
for a physical examination or more frequently, if necessary. The reason why you’re required to come here for
checkups is to ensure that home confinement isn’t causing you any mental or
physical health issues. As I said
before, I’ll be performing your physical examinations but you’ll also be
meeting with one of our psychotherapists after each visit to make sure your
mental health is sound”
Amanda scrunched her face
in disgust. “A shrink?! I’m not a fucking schizo! I don’t need to talk to a shrink! Mom?
You never mentioned anything about a shrink!”
Her mother buried her
face in her hands, exasperated. “Amanda,
please…….just try to have a good attitude about this and……..”
“Great. My mom thinks I belong in a straightjacket
because I tried to get some prissy bitch a make out partner. Awesome!” Amanda interrupted, crossing her
arms and turning to the doctor. “Is this
shit almost over? I taped Melrose Place
last night and want to get home to watch it.”
Dr. Gembella continued
writing on her chart, ignoring the teenage girl.
“Um, HELLO?” I asked if
we could go now?
The doctor firmly
punctuated the page she was writing on, looked up and smiled.
“Yes, Amanda. You can go now.”
POST-VISIT CONSULTATION TRANSCRIPT
(RACHEL SILVERSTONE,
MOTHER OF AMANDA SILVERSTONE) (MARCH 1st, 1994)
DCTR:
Good morning, Ms. Silverstone. It was nice meeting you today. Just to remind you,
these recorded meetings are going to be a regular part of Amanda’s visits to the clinic. Due to the nature of the treatment your
daughter is receiving and as per the
agreement you signed, you’re required as her legal guardian to attend these
after each of your
daughter’s checkups.
RS:
Please, you can call me Rachel
and yes, I understand what’s required of me, Dr. Gembella. I must have read the contract with the State
a million times.
DCTR:
And you can call me Fiona. Well,
that’s good to hear because many of the other mothers seem to hardly know what
they signed. You’d be amazed at how many
of them don’t even
know when the dosing regimen is supposed to start! A lot of them initially seem focused on the benefit they’re
getting from the treatment plan!
RS:
Oh, gosh! Well, I mean it is a nice benefit! (laughter)
I still don’t really believe that it works, though.
DCTR:
Trust me, I understand the
skepticism. To be honest, when I first
started working with the clinic after my
recruitment, I wasn’t sure I believed it, either. But then I saw
the results and, well…….you know what they say.
Seeing is believing.
RS:
Yea……….
DCTR:
Well, then. Speaking of the dosing regimen, have you
started yours?
RS:
I have, yes. One tablet per day, dissolved in water.
DCTR:
Good. And how have you been feeling?
RS:
Honestly, the only difference
I’ve felt so far is that I have a bit more energy. I haven’t noticed anything too drastic
so far. Neither has Amanda.
DCTR:
Thank you for helping me out with my
follow up question. How is Amanda’s dosing regimen going?
RS:
I’ve been putting her dosage
in her morning orange juice. Three
tablets. She drinks it
every morning. It’s, like, been a thing
with her since she was a little girl. I
guess that’s good,
because….
DCTR:
Look, however you can get her to
take it. You won’t have to do it that
way forever. At some
point, she’ll have enough of the drug in her system and you won’t have to worry
about getting it into her body.
RS:
Right, I remember reading that
in the information that was provided to me.
DCTR:
At some point, though she’s going to
realize something isn’t normal and that’s when we may have to administer the
dosage in one of those alternative ways.
Most of the
patients I’ve had made the
connection before they became more manageable. Some even
refused to stop eating and drinking. If
it comes to that, we’ll just admit her
here overnight and administer whatever dosage we need to until she becomes more manageable.
RS:
(sighing)……oh gosh. Oh Amanda…….
DCTR:
I know, it isn’t a pleasant thought,
but it really is for her own good. The
dosage regimen needs to be followed through
to the end. That’s the only way to
guarantee Amanda’s health and safety. Once it’s started, it must be seen through to
the end.
RS:
Ok, ok. Well, fingers crossed, then.
DCTR:
It’s going to be fine, Rachel. How have you been holding up otherwise?
RS:
It’s been a little rough being
in the house all day. Thankfully the
neighbors have been nice enough to go grocery
shopping for me, which has been a godsend.
I don’t know if
I’d feel comfortable leaving Amanda alone right now, even for an hour.
DCTR:
Well, I’m glad to hear that. You’re doing the right thing, Rachel.
RS:
Um, one more thing?
DCTR:
Yes?
RS:
This treatment…….it really
works? She’s really going to be……
DCTR:
Yes.
Like I said before, I know seeing is believing but if I were you, I’d start
getting prepared for what you’re about to see.
RS:
I just want to do it right
this time. I’m scared that I’ll do it
wrong again.
DCTR:
The fact that you’re worried means
you’ll do it right.
RS:
Thank you, Fiona.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
POST-VISIT MENTAL HEALTH CHECK TRANSCRIPT
(PATIENT: AMANDA SILVERSTONE)
(MARCH 1st, 1994)
PSY:
Ok, Amanda. My name is Dr. Bridgit Fleming and I’ll be your therapist during your treatment. Just so you know, all of these meetings have to be recorded and transcribed, as per the State’s agreement with your legal guardian, in this case your mother, Rachel…….
AS:
Rachel Silverstone. I know my mom’s name.
PSY:
I’m sure you do but I need to make sure that
your understanding is on the record.
AS:
Got it.
Crystal clear.
PSY:
Ok, good.
So, I’d like to find out a bit more about you today. Just some general questions to help me during our future sessions.
Tell me how you’ve been feeling since you were released
back to your mother’s custody?
AS:
I’ve been fine.
PSY:
Can you elaborate? What’s been fine?
AS:
I don’t know, everything. It’s been better than being in jail, I guess.
PSY:
Well,
that’s not saying much, is it? Do you
like being at home with your mother?
AS:
Like I said, it’s better than jail.
PSY:
Have you been feeling angry, resentful?
AS:
This is so fucking retarded. Why do I need to do this again?
PSY:
Amanda, I understand if it’s difficult for
you to talk about certain things, or certain feelings you’ve been having.
This is a safe place, though. What’s
said here stays here.
AS:
So why do you have to record it?
PSY:
It’s solely for us, your healthcare
providers, to help treat you. Nobody
else sees or hears it but myself and your
primary care physician.
AS:
Ok, whatever.
PSY:
So, going back to how you’ve been feeling……have
you thought about hurting yourself?
AS:
(Sighing) No, I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to hurt anyone else, either.
PSY:
That’s good.
But I can see you’re upset by something.
Can you tell me what it is?
AS:
Because I don’t wanna be here. I don’t need a shrink. I’m not crazy.
PSY:
I’m not here to judge you, Amanda. I’m here to help you. If there’s something that you need to get off your chest, you can tell me.
AS:
I…….fuck.
PSY:
Go ahead.
Take your time to think.
AS:
I guess I feel……bad? I didn’t know how far Meghan and Jocelyn……..
PSY:
Jocelyn?
I read your case file and thought that Meghan was responsible, along
with yourself?
AS:
I fucked up. Jocelyn is one of my friends and I always
lump her in with Meghan. You’re right.
PSY:
It’s ok, I understand. So, you say you’ve been feeling “bad”? Would you say you feel a sense of guilt, even though Evelin ended up
being ok?
AS:
I never said I felt guilty………
PSY:
Well, I’m just trying to (inaudible)…….
AS:
……..I’m pissed because my life is over.
PSY:
So, you feel that because Evelin is fine,
you shouldn’t have been punished?
AS:
You sound like you’re judging me. I thought you said you weren’t here to do
that?
PSY:
It wasn’t meant to sound judgmental,
Amanda. I’m just trying to understand
how you’re feeling.
AS:
Ugh…….I mean……..it just doesn’t feel fair,
that’s all.
PSY:
Do you think you’ve been wronged?
AS:
Um, you think? Evelin had a bad trip and my life is ruined? Like I said, it just doesn’t feel fair.
PSY:
I understand. Let’s talk about your friends. Meghan and…….you said Jocelyn, earlier?
AS:
Yea.
What about them?
PSY:
Tell me about Meghan.
AS:
I’ve known Meghan since junior high. We had classes together and I guess we always
just got along.
PSY:
Do you miss Meghan? Seeing her, talking to her?
AS:
Is this the part where I’m supposed to
start crying?
PSY:
No, but if you ever have to, you can.
AS:
I’ll pass, thanks doc.
PSY:
Why do you suppose you and Meghan got along
so well?
AS:
I don’t know. We just did.
PSY:
Did you ever share personal things with each
other?
AS:
Huh?
Like what?
PSY:
Well, for example, if Meghan was having a
fight with her mother or father, would she tell you about it?
AS:
Only her mom. Her father died when she was little.
PSY:
I see.
Would she ever talk to you about that?
AS:
Sometimes.
PSY:
What did those conversations sound like?
AS:
She just wanted to talk about it
sometimes. Meghan’s mom basically had to
do everything for her dad while he was sick. She doesn’t have any brothers or
sisters. Meghan’s mom never had time for her and her dad couldn’t
spend time with her because he was too sick to
move most of the time.
PSY:
Hmm, her mother wasn’t there for her and
she’s an only child. Do you think maybe
you got along with Meghan because…..
AS:
Because we both come from broken
homes? That’s why you think we’re
friends?
PSY:
No, Amanda that wasn’t what I was implying,
but we can move on if you’d like.
AS:
Please do.
PSY:
You mentioned a girl named Jocelyn before. How did you two meet?
AS:
Freshman year of high school. She’s an overachiever when it comes to
school. Basically, the opposite of me in almost every
way. You’re starting to sound like a
cop, ya know.
PSY:
Well, I do like donuts, so maybe that’s why
you’re confused (laughter).
AS:
That was really funny. You should be on In Living Color.
PSY:
Ahem, anyway. Going back to Jocelyn, would you say you’re
as close to her as you are to Meghan?
AS:
It’s just different with Jocelyn. We have fun hanging out. We party together. Well, when she’s not studying, I mean. We don’t talk about life stuff, though. She comes from a family with money. She grew up in a way more normal environment than I did. We just come from different worlds, I guess.
PSY:
I see.
Well, I think we’re done for today.
Thank you for opening up to me about Meghan. I
know that it’s not easy to share things like that if you aren’t used to
it. Maybe next time we can talk a bit more about your relationship
with your mother?
AS:
We could.
We could also just stop pretending that you give a fuck about me.
PSY:
I know it’s hard to see now, but I think in
time you’ll see that this is going to be a positive experience for you.
I think we’re done for today.
Thank you, Amanda. Your mother is waiting for you in reception.
AS:
Thank God this shit is over.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
Another Way, Another Day
by: BackToBabyHood | Complete Story | Last updated Jun 16, 2022
Stories of Age/Time Transformation